Friday, November 14, 2014

Rev-gineering

I had an epiphany this morning while pondering the sheer amount of shit that you have to set up in a Revit template, modify, tweak, adjust, etc. etc. once you've started a project, and then still have to insert more shit later in order to make it capable of even pretending to be able to be a useful engineering tool (while still remaining a huge roadblock to productivity and profitability).

It's that while individual Engineering firms, Engineers, Designers, etc. already know how to do the Engineering end of things - Revit is going to come along and dictate how you will do it.  Sure, you can hammer away at customizing your Revit setup, system of using it, and attempt to maintain a set of standards - but there are a number of things that for all means and purposes - if you want to do them your way?  You can go get fucked.

You are doing it the Revit way now, boy!!! Never mind if it doesn't make any fucking sense or doesn't actually accomplish the tasks you desperately fucking need it to.  It's developers have shown repeatedly that they only have a very basic understanding of the Electrical Engineering discipline, and yet they have the audacity to set arbitrary fucking standards and procedures about how that discipline will be practiced.

Most of the firms that have found themselves wallowing in Revit hell didn't do any research or have any actual criteria when they were determining what was going to be their BIM solution.  What they did have was trust in Autodesk from years of good ol' reliable ACAD.  They also (unbeknownst to them in most cases) had a number of employees who were ripe for conversion into Revitbots.

People that you could piss on, tell them it was raining - and they would believe you.  A bunch of sheep-eyed, slack-jawed followers and band-wagon jumpers that could be convinced to overlook a slew of what I hold are some of the most epic fucking failures in software development in history.

People used to discuss the pros and cons of ACAD and argue for their favorite CAD solutions (and even though programs like Microstation, Architectural Desktop, etc. were already in existence) but you didn't hear anything remotely like the level of disdain that Revitbots would heap on ACAD in the early days of the Revitlution.

If you weren't using it (or dared question it) you were labeled as some kind of 'holdout', and the comparisons of the people who resisted the conversion from paper to computer (What? you don't want to trust your drawings to this 286 with 4kb of RAM??? Here - slap the files on a box of 5-1/4" floppy disks!  What's the matter with these fucking dinosaurs?!?!?) were hurled at you.

It's like they thought they had found the next big thing (even though it wasn't them who found it), and they bought the sales-pitch, propaganda, and bullshit (and the built-in superiority complex that came with it) that Autodesk was selling hook line and sinker.

When confronted point blank - you could get most of them to snap the fuck out of it for a second, and admit that the shortcomings were in no short supply.  Wishlists started to be developed, the vast majority of which have not, and will most likely never be implemented into Revit (because like I always say - then they would have to admit that it was basic shit that they hadn't thought of, or didn't understand).

What they wouldn't do was stand the fuck up for themselves and demand better software - any attempt to point out the shortcomings or wishlist post would get torn to shreds by the 'True-Revit-Believers' because how dare you slander their precious Revit?!?  This required anyone attempting to broach the subject to make a statement (i.e. - Revit can't slope pipe), then immediately start backpedaling away from it as hard as possible.

That particular example was brought up early on - because (even though most plumbing engineers/designers wouldn't necessarily care about it), if you were being expected to 'Revit' (with no clear definition of what that meant), then at some point you were going to run into the necessity to show a piece of pipe somewhere, that if you model it in a straight line - it's going to look like it pops out of the ground or through a wall in the wrong fucking place, but if you try to slope the pipe, none of the fucking connectors can be attached to it anymore, thereby rendering any kind of 'intelligence' related to the flow of whatever is going through that pipe useless.

I said that most plumbing designers/mechanical engineers wouldn't really care (about either thing) because most (if not all) were still doing their calculations the old-fashioned way - and most continue to do so, because the day where an Engineer trusts a piece of software to not fuck them over because of some oversight on the part of the developer is still a LONG ways off in the future.  Sure - they might let it run some calcs, but I can guarantee that they will be double-checking them before putting their name anywhere the fuck near it.

Anyway, so someone dares to point out that Revit can't do this or that or whatever (take your pick - there is still plenty to go around) and if they don't immediately recite an oath of fealty to Revit and admit that their insignificant request for basic functionality was obviously out of line, then here come the Revshits spewing garbage and nonsense everywhere.

In the workplace, there have always been suck-ups, ass-kissers, and sanctimonious motherfuckers (c) who think nothing of throwing their fellow employees under the bus to make themselves look good - they measure their success by your failure.  They were already here too - but it wasn't until Revit came in the door that I witnessed these kind of people's ability to insert themselves entirely inside of management ass and start working the controls from within.

They were bound and determined to make sure we passed the point of no return as quickly as possible - the whole time talking about how 'this is the future' and working with other people to make sure that it would be the future by making it a requirement for certain types of work, rather than demand that it do what it is advertised to do, and stop fucking around.

People would have flocked to it no matter what - it was Autodesk's next big thing after all, but you would have seen an entirely different set of events play out in the meantime if more people would have been willing to speak up.  Now they've got countless firms (firmly) by the balls and they can squeeze as tight as they want.

Add to this that you can't ask for a refund (well, you could, but I can guarantee they would fight you tooth and nail), because there is no product to return - only a license.  A license that you apparently have to pay for PER RELEASE (meaning that if a user has to open both 2014 and 2015 Revit (which can happen for a number of reasons) they are pulling TWO licenses, not just one, and keeping other people out of it (I've seen a number of requests for people not using software to get out - but then again I also started keeping both open just to fuck with people too).

Add to this that you can't save back to older versions, and can't open older files without converting them - and HOLY FUCK, HOW IN THE FUCK HAVE THESE COCKSUCKERS MANAGED TO FUCKING PULL THIS OFF!?!?

Oh wait, that's right - just re-read this post...

Autodesk = Cocksucking Dicklickers.
Revit = Pure Unadulterated Cocksuckery
Revit Users = Cocksucking Motherfuckers

It's a fact jerkoff - and if you don't like it - GO AND FUCK YOURSELF REPEATEDLY.

Sincerely,

-S. K. U. Double-LL FUCK!!!

6 comments:

  1. Another entertaining, highly accurate post.

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  2. Although I´m an architect, but I you managed to draw an ear to ear wide smile on my face, especially when I was searching for the experiance of other diciplanise with Revit.

    And I would like to take the chance to ask you
    - What is the best BIM program/plataform you have used in your discipline ?

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  3. No software is perfect, but I love my ArchiCad. All less automated than Revit but at least it does what I want!

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  4. @Daniel Ireland,

    Daniel, I prefer ArchiCAD, but our dear blogger is an Electrical Engineer, and I would like to know if there is a better BIM program/platform for his discipline.

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  5. Gentlemen,

    The only other BIM platform I have been exposed to is 'Bentley Microstation'. I have written at least one post regarding the way that it interfaces with 'Visual' (an industry standard interior/exterior 3D lighting design program - one I use daily).

    While watching a demonstration the Bentley BIM/electrical design software they click on a 'lighting' button and it brings up Visual, ready to start dropping in lights (which automatically pop up in the Bentley model).

    One of the many promises (read: lies) propagated by Autodesk/Revit is that Revit is capable of performing photometrics. As far as I can tell, it can give you average light levels in a room, but it cannot perform point by point photometrics (with a 3rd party plug-in being necessary to accomplish this) - and of course, nobody seemed to think about site lighting (or site anything) when they slapped an 'E' in between 'M' and 'P' in the Revit software.

    I haven't had a chance to post recently (it's hard to focus when what you really want to do is take a handful of Autodesk principals and jam large uncomfortable objects up their collective asses), but I will be attempting to spend some time continuing to break down the more overt examples of Autodesk not giving a shit when it comes to my discipline.

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  6. an oldie but one of your finest.

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