Thursday, July 30, 2015

Re-Flexibility

Skullfuckutations,

I don't know how in the fuck anyone expects anything to get done in Revit when it is so goddamned rigid and inflexible.  Sometimes I know exactly what the fuck I want - and I don't need a piece of software telling me how I can and can't go about doing it.  Sometimes I have no fucking clue what I need to do - and then I damned sure don't need a piece of software preventing me from figuring out some compromise between what the client wants (or thinks they want) which as we've discussed can change with the wind (and is often completely at odds with what they can afford), what other people involved with the project want (or think they want) and what NEEDS to be included.

Figuring out that balance between wants vs. needs is the fundamental basis for any complex project - be it your own personal finances/life or an electrical design for a building.  The client WANTS all kinds of crazy shit - and they may even have told you about some of it (or it got filtered down to you by someone else who is giving you their version of what they think the client wants).  First you have to figure out what the other people designing the building are doing - which is probably a mix of what someone has asked for, their own best guesses, and of course - what NEEDS to be included for the project to meet codes, and be functional (much of which was not considered by the owner when they were dreaming it up - and which will drive the cost of the project out of their budget).

At every stage of the game - one thing keeps me capable of balancing these wants, needs, knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns - and that is FLEXIBLE FUCKING SOFTWARE.  More to the point, software that DOESN'T CONCERN ITSELF WITH WHAT I'M DOING - and even more to the point - NOT SOMEONE'S HALF-ASS ATTEMPT AT COMPREHENDING WHAT I'M DOING.  If I run up against some arbitrary limitation or bullshit conception of what I need, it immediately makes me want punch a hole in my screen with the keyboard.  I flipped the damn thing the other day (after attempting to tweak what should have been some simple setting) and left the fucking office for several hours - walking nearly 8 goddamned miles while I thought about what to do.

When I got back, the solution was clear - FUCK REVIT.  Once again, I had reached the limitations of my ability to GIVE TWO SHITS OR A FUCK about this ignorant fucking program and how it wants to drag every single goddamned task out into a several hours long festival of mind-numbing, fist-fucking, back-asswards clusterfucks and 'workarounds'.  I had a project to work on (while juggling several others in various states of clients, city reviewers, other disciplines, and all manner of third-parties that are out of my control), and goddammit, I was going to work on that motherfucking project and get it to a point where I could start hashing out details and get some schematics together.

I spent the next several days putting the hammer down and am now back to the point where I usually am, and that is waiting for other people to get their fucking heads out of the Revit hole and get me the rest of the information I need, so that I can submit complete drawings, so the owner can realize that they can't afford it, so we can 'value engineer', re-design (hopefully at additional cost to the customer, instead of the typical assumption that we've been hired on retainer, and resubmit, so we can maybe turn out something sometime this fucking decade.

I have some of the information (which is almost certainly wrong, incomplete, or some combination of the two), and will most likely change repeatedly throughout the rest of the course of the project, but if I were Reviting along with them - I would be so buried that I would have no chance in hell of being able to accomplish what I need to accomplish in the time remaining after they finally figure out how to get it to spit out what they are so desperately trying to get it to spit out.  The sheer number of details that have to be addressed mean that I don't have time to get stuck fucking with some tempermental aspect of Revit when it decides to go off into space.

To anyone that doesn't know what I do - my resistance to Reviting could easily look like I haven't put in the time or effort to learn how to use Revit (and that's exactly how some cocksucking pieces of shit would like to frame it), but do you know what?   FUCK THOSE PEOPLE.  I remember making the offer years ago for them to sit down for even just a short time and see what it is I am doing, get at least a basic grasp of how many projects I am jugging, and what is necessary to keep them all on-schedule, and the tools I need to design and produce schematics, but was met with a resounding 'we don't really give a shit'.

If any one of the people who expect me to open wide and suck the Revit dick took even an hour to watch me work in Revit, and see the nonsensical pile of bullshit error messages, incapability of the software to comprehend even the most basic concepts, and (my favorite) the inconsistency from minute to minute of what happens when you try to repeat the same process more than once - I think I could start to bring them around.  They might still think it's just a matter of spending time with it, or getting past a few speed-bumps or hurdles - but if given some additional exposure (including seeing the bleak and empty landscape that is attempting to scour the internet for information) only the most hardened Revit apologist would be able to look me in the eye and tell me that I need to be using it.

The most mind-numbingly stupid shit comes from people who think that others HAVE figured out how to overcome all of these problems.  They will point me in the direction of these supposed 'Revit Masters' - whose low productivity is matched only by the shitty appearance of the garbage projects they manage to issue (while I get to pick up all of the slack).  In fact, if anything angers me more than anything else about how I have gone about approaching Revit, it's that I won't allow it to make me and/or my firm fail at the actual task at hand.  If I had simply dove headfirst into the empty Revit pool, and pounded my head into the dry concrete bottom over and over in order to scrape together something resembling a completed project - and not concerned myself with keeping up with both my projects and those that would be left languishing because neither myself nor these 'Masters of Revit' would have time to fuck with them - then the reality of the situation would be laid bare for all to see.

Schedules, budgets, profits - all of these would have been destroyed - and I could have done what all of the other Revitbots do, which is to shake my head and say 'look at me - I'm Reviting as hard as I can in order to stand still (or slowly drift backward)', and pretend to not understand what the fuck is wrong with a system.that breeds complacence, rewards incompetence, and celebrates inanity.

Fuck Revit.  Fuck Autodesk, Fuck all of the lies. Fuck all of the false promises and hopes.  Fuck all of it.

And if you don't like it - fuck you, and here is a bag of dicks, I will leave it up to you how many you choose to eat (after the first of course - because you are eating at least one, motherfucker).

Skullfuckcerely,
S.F.

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