Hey There, Hi There, Ho There!!!
So I received a .pdf containing yet another set of plans for a project that was obviously drawn in Revit - and it is just... a bag of unwashed assholes.
I converted them into CAD using my fancy new non-free non-cloud based converter, and it actually recognized the vast majority of the objects in the drawing - but Jesus H. Christ did whoever modeled this thing have some kind of stroke or seizure while doing it.
At first I thought I was seeing problems with the conversion - as nearly every wall in the building was rotated *ever so slightly*, but then I zoomed in on the .pdf (which was spit directly out from Revit and not a scan) and the jagged lines were evident there as well.
Then I thought maybe they had just rotated the whole model accidentally, but attempting to rotate/align was hopeless - so the only thing I can think of is that they were just free-handing walls in and disabling whatever the Revit equivalent of 'ortho' is.
Fortunately I have skills in the 'unfucking the fucked' department, so - as I was cleaning up all of the other unacceptable shit in the drawing, I was able to fix enough of it that I didn't want to poke my eyeballs out every time I looked at it.
It had all the standard stuff - overly detailed components like FUCKING PLANTS, and PILLOWS ON COUCHES, and of course lovingly 3d detailed pieces of gym, kitchen, and bar equipment - including a MOTHERFUCKING DJ SETUP, and a GRAND FUCKING PIANO.
I deleted just shit tons of stuff - and the result is... better. The funny part is I'm not even doing that elaborate of systems in this building, but I refuse to allow my drawings to look like shit.
Here is just one tiny example of the kind of shit they allowed to dribble out of the Revit butthole:
Now, back when I was still working at my old firm, despite the fact that they were riding the Revit dick into oblivion, this still wouldn't have flown. People actually looked at what they were issuing, and still had at least a modicum of 'standards' for what they would allow to go out.
If the firm responsible for this project had still been working in CAD, I can guarantee you wouldn't see anything like this - because they would actually be looking at the floor plans, not spinning a 3D model around while masturbating over how awesome they were, and would've *definitely* noticed some half-ass looking shit like this.
I honestly can't tell what the fuck happened here. It's not a view range issue, as there are no doors on any of the other floors. It's like someone just went 'ah... fuck it... here's a multiple choice'. My project actually does relate to access control equipment for doors, and while I don't believe this particular door is getting anything, if it did, I wouldn't know what the fuck to specify (I guess I could just show two sets of equipment superimposed over each other and see if nobody noticed).
For the time being I flipped a coin and went with 'double door' (although there is just as much chance that the single one was correct - since it's egress from a stairwell), and cleaned up all the garbage on the walls near it (including to the left of the door where you can see that the wall is inexplicably rotated like 1 degree from being aligned with the rest of the project.
It's like this throughout the whole building - just a stunning representation of what happens when an industry takes a shit directly on itself, then refuses to acknowledge they are covered from head to toe in their own feces. I don't see it getting any better unless someone stands up and says 'fuck this shit', but people like that are in short supply, while people who say 'harder daddy' are apparently everywhere.
I'll waste another day (on top of the days I've already wasted) fixing it to my liking, before slapping my systems on it (which will probably only take a few hours). Then, after fixing another project that continues to come back with changes (thanks to the age-old fuckfest of 'design it as you go'), then it will be on to my next big project.
I've gotten preliminary stuff on it - and I can already tell it's going to SUCK. Based on their e-mails, they have broken it up into pieces, and going to just... fuck the whole thing into oblivion. The guy who originally sold it is no longer with our firm (thank fucking god, because I've probably mentioned him before - as the guy who didn't seem to understand how e-mail worked (and had a voice mail inbox that was perpetually full).
I have a Bluebeam Studio Session invitation that I'm going to ignore (one of our other salesmen is most likely going to be taking it in the balls), as well as 'BIM360' access - which they stick directly up their ass. The owner of my firm has already asked if we have received CAD files - which is highly unlikely. I'll probably end up converting it from .pdfs (once they figure out what the fuck they are doing), and doing my job correctly, before sitting back and watching the rest of the process grind on for months, requiring repeated changes, revisions, and submittals.
My only fear is that somebody at our firm (like the idiot that sold it) made them promises without bothering to find out what those promises involved, or how feasible it would be to fulfill those promises on the time frame we now find ourselves in the middle of. I never heard a word about this project prior to dude being let go, and it's almost certainly ticking towards a due date - and nobody knows what that is, or what they are expecting to get when it hits (although I can guarantee that somewhere, someone is probably operating under the delusion that we'll be engaging in some 'BIM' fuckery - for coordination purposes, if not expecting a complete 'BIM' deliverable).
I've had one other project where somebody was under the delusion that we were going to be responsible for showing our equipment in a 'coordination model' and keeping it updated as they inevitably fucked with it, and fucked with it, and fucked with it. What made it hilarious was that there had been no attempt made on their part (at least none that reached me - you know, the guy who would've been responsible for that shit) to provide us with access to their model.
I've already let one guy know that if it turns out that someone has promised them BIM shit, they can go fuck themselves. Even if I were inclined to stick my dick back in the Revit meat grinder (which I'm not), they would have to:
1) Build me (or allow me to build) a new computer.
2) Purchase me a Revit license.
3) Put me in contact with somebody who is responsible for developing their Revit model(s).
4) Wait while I figure out which of the many ways that you can use Revit (all of which are 'wrong' depending on who you ask) to link together files, or to try to amass one *fucking huge* model.
5) Wait some more as I attempt to access this file via 'the cloud'.
6) Wait even longer as I put all of our information into the model.
7) Wait EVEN LONGER as it inevitably crashes, taking all of my work with it, I kick a hole in the wall, and toss my computer through it.
8) Wait for me to put my computer back in my office, log back in, put all of my information back in for a second time and save to their cloud based central model - only to find out that they've made radical changes to their model without bothering to tell anyone, so everything I just spent the last week doing was an exercise in futility.
9) Wait for me to track down the motherfuckers responsible, drive to where they are, drag them out in the street, and beat the living fuck out of them, before returning to my office, exporting/converting to CAD, clean it up (because it will definitely suck) and do my goddamned job the way that it needs to be done (and I will STILL be done before anyone else).
I guess we'll have to wait and see if they want to go that route - but I will let them know they could definitely save them a few teeth by suggesting they don't.
Until next we meet.
Fuck to the fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
-S to the mother fucking Kullfuck.
Next time: 'It's Some Form of BIM Fuckery...'
