Revit 2027 AI Edition

 Greetings Fuckfaces!!!

 As promised, I'm going to submit myself to reviewing the latest and 'greatest' (using that term in the loosest possible context) version of Autodesks flagship BIM software. (I didn't realize until after I posted this that I never did a 2026 review, but what the fuck ever). 

Of course, in the Year of Fuck The Lord 2026, what is guaranteed to be the first goddamned item on the list? You guessed it - A fucking I.

That's right, you unworthy limp dick motherfuckers - Revit 2027 is introducing 'AI-assisted workflows, performance improvements, cloud connected BIM, and enhanced automation for faster, more coordinated design'. 

What the fuck does that mean? Fucked if I know (and fucked if whoever posted knows either) - but it's item 1 of 8.

Oh - and was that (and the rest of this list) most likely written by an AI? For fucking sure.

For #2 we get the ever present 'performance enhancements' (padding early as usual) so that unlike 2026 Revit, the latest version will actually run *an eensie bit* less like dogshit - even on hardware far exceeding their recommendations. 

#3 and we're talking about 'Extended BIM Data and Cloud Integration' - so in addition to repeating #1,  we're gonna babble about Autodesk Forma. 

What is Autodesk Forma, you might ask? According to their website it is 'Your go-to AI-powered cloud software for site planning and analysis'. That's right - #3 is advertising another piece of Autodesk software - and repeating the same handful of buzzwords like it's some kind of mantra, while sounding suspiciously like a bullshit generator: 'extended properties allow cloud-governed data to be embedded directly into Revit elements, enhancing model intelligence and cross-team coordination. (And let's not forget about how: 'improved model analytics and data  interoperability help maintain model integrity and documentation consistency').

 (Edit: There's nothing to indicate this anywhere, but 'Forma' is apparently just a new name for the Auto desk Construction Cloud ... So.... Who cares?)  

I mean Jesus Fucking Christ, people - bring it down a notch.

How the fuck any of this self-fellating nonsense translates into anything that is going to make the Revit experience less of an futile exercise in time-wasting, while providing nothing of substance is so far beyond me that they might as well be discussing the benefits of microwaving my balls.

#4 is literally the Autodesk Assistant. 

Just... Fuck you. The level of effort at this point is so small, it is undetectable by the most sensitive equipment in existence.

#5 Automation and Computational Workflows.

Finally!!! They've gotten around to the platform modernizing automation, computational design, and scripting capabilities!!!

Oh, wait, that's just more meaningless bullshit and jargon - made worse by the claim that it: 'supports more efficient workflows, structural detailing, energy and HVAC analysis, and fabrication ready systems'.

Fear not, though -as we are now moving into the discipline-specific enhancements (#6) - where the real meat-and-potatoes will be. 

Just kidding! Architecture gets 'improved modeling precision and documentation tools', Structural gets 'enhanced detailing, analysis, and reinforcement workflows - but hold onto your nuts for the MEP portion... 

'Upgraded energy, HVAC, and fabrication-ready systems for better coordination'. 

That's it. (And yes, they did repeat several items  from #5 - fuck, if you remove all the repeated terms you could probably print this whole list on the back of a matchbook).

#7 'Connected BIM and Forma Integration' 

Revit 2027 acts as Autodesk's first official Forma Connected Client, enabling closer collaboration between planning stage tools and... you know what? Fuck it. I'm not typing the rest of that sentence (and yes - I manually type everything I post here - usually on a phone). 

It's just another ad for Forma, and a repeat of the same mantra. Goddammit , people. 

#8 'User Experience Improvements' 

-Faster Opening Times (I'll believe it when I see it)

-Lower Memory Demand (Which is probably good , since AI has been driving memory prices through the roof.... Oh wait) 

-More trustworthy graphics (I dare you to make those three words make sense)

Yep -that's it. They finish off by claiming that Revit 2027 represents a 'significant step forward in AI-driven design, performance, and cloud-connected BIM workflows, with BIM managers delivering projects faster and with higher accuracy'. 

And if you believe that shit, I've got prime real-estate between my balls and ass for you to lick. 

Fuck this shit.

Fuck Autodesk, Fuck Revit, Fuck whatever AI wrote this list for some illiterate fucking moron jerking themselves unconscious on a printout of the Revit logo.

Fuck every single person involved , fuck their mothers, fuck their children, fuck their aunts and uncles, fuck their inlaws, fuck their next-door neighbors. 

And if you don't like it... Fuck You (and then refer to the list above for additional instructions).

Literally, 

-Skullfuck

Next Time: Rev-ducation. 

 

 

 

 

 

Revit Rears It's Ugly Head

Greetings Fucktards!

I've been leaving this thing alone since I'm only ever tangentially involved with Revit these days.

The one project I had to deal with finally came to an end after a decade+ long (fairly profitable) journey for my firm. Amusingly there were apparently several other 'Revit Holdouts' before I got here, because I would regularly find where they had (most likely in a fit of rage) exported drawings for various systems into CAD (or developed them in CAD to begin with, since fuck Revit). 

I joined their illustrious ranks when a large number of as-built panel schedule updates came through - exporting panels to CAD and updating them manually rather than having to beat on Revit until they looked right (one self-imposed limitation of the project that I probably mentioned before was that it was done in Revit 2018, and nobody wanted to deal with the headaches that converting it to a new version had the potential to cause).

At some point the client may want the Revit model, but since they have a full set of .pdfs and .dwgs they will almost certainly never look at it - and even if they do, and have a problem with anything, then they can promptly fuck themselves directly in their own stupid fucking faces. 

Anyway, today some people came by my desk asking about drawing a building in Revit for a proposal so they can oooh/ahh a client with our ability to show them their (fucking barracks) building to them in 3D.

I expressed hesitancy, because while I could probably slap a few walls, a floor, etc. into it - I had a funny feeling that they would try to turn it into a 'can we make X look like Y' or some other type of bullshit (or expect it to be an architecturally sound model).

 'We thought you had Revit skills?!?' was their incredulous response . Yeah, fuckface - *electrical* Revit skills, because I'm a fucking *electrical designer*. It turns out the project manager (an architect by trade - at least when I used to work with him) hates our architect that is a certified Revit bitchboi and would probably ejaculate at the idea of getting to slap a model together.

They were going to check with another guy on our team , whose previous firm had choked down on the Revit dick - but who is kind of a dipshit, and is unlikely to have ever Revited up a building.

Fortunately , it doesn't sound like the Revit aspect is as important as having a 3D picture, so we might be able to get one of our guys who is proficient in Solidworks to shit one out.

It's funny how Revit keeps getting tossed around from time to time , but never by people who know what the fuck it entails, and never actually ends up going anywhere.

In all reality, I hope to never look at it again (never hearing about it again would be fine too).

As always... Fuck Revit, Fuck Autodesk, and just for good measure - fuck you.

Sincerely, 

-SF

Next time: Revit 2027 review whenever they shit out a list of 'new features' or 'improvements'? 😅 

I'd Forgotten Just How Bad Revit Sucks

 Hola Amigos!

 It's been a minute, but I've been dicking around in Revit this morning , so I thought I'd take a moment to reiterate just what a festering sack of donkey balls it really is. 

This particular project is a ridiculously long-term one, and it's a mix of Revit , CAD (and other stuff), but it continously gets revised.

I'll be working along, go to look for a file, realize 'ah fuck, that one's in Revit' then waste time waiting for Revit to open, more time waiting for the file to open, forget what the fuck I was doing, then go to work battling it to get something that would've take a me three seconds in CAD.

Oh -and just to make it even stupider , the model has been kept in the 2018 Revit format (not that they've actually improved anythig in the 7-8 years since).

I needed to make some fairly elaborate updates to some panel schedules - which is where Revit is supposed to shine (OMG - it automatically populates and calculates them, ya'll!!!), but since it would have required tracking down each piece of equipment, updating the loads, the wire sizes, breaker sizes, etc., I decided to say 'fuck it' and export them into CAD where I could make the changes in seconds. 

Actually, I had already exported it to CAD  previously because when we send native files for sheets, it is all CAD anyway - so it only took a minute to change the revision information and get to work. 

For my own amusement, after I finished knocking out the changes, I decided to open the model, move the shitty Revit panel schedules off the sheet and replace them with my stupid linework/text, non-linked, hand calculated ones. It took me a minute to get it tweaked (battling Revit's counterintuitive bullshit every step of the way), but now it's nearly impossible to tell. 

If anyone ever calls me out on it, I'll toss them out a fourth story window (and these windows don't open).

Revit Can Burn. 

Until next we meet ! 

-SF

(Next time: Here we go again...)  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CADtastic 2025 Rundown

Greetings Fellow CAD Holdouts!

I figured it wouldn't be fair to excoriate Revit without holding ACAD to the same standard, but since the software was basically perfected in 2014, I'm not really going to care about 99.9% of what they've done (so long as they don't break anything).

Before we get into it, I had something weird happen last week. I left on Thursday, and everything was working fine, only to come in Friday morning to find that ACAD 2024 had decided to shit itself - receiving a fatal error on launch. I tried rebooting, and it still didn't work. I turned in a trouble ticket to IT (my company doesn't allow any users to do anything to their computers - I can't even delete shortcuts from my desktop without IT's help).

They were like 'huh - that's weird' and asked me the standard IT questions - have you rebooted, do you have sufficient hard drive space, etc. - but couldn't actually figure out a solution. Googling it came up with the option of reinstalling - but my IT guy recommended just going ahead and upgrading to 2025 ACAD. Unfortunately their software installer kept face-planting, and I had work to do - so I pulled up a copy of Plant 3D 2022 that was on my machine for some reason - and after making some tweaks, it worked well enough to do what I needed to do.

I came in this week and 2025 ACAD still hadn't installed, so I kept on with 2022 Plant 3D. I should probably mention that my machine got Windows 11 on it recently - and while that didn't necessarily coincide with my 2024 ACAD issue, it's not impossible that the two are related (of course between Microsoft and Autodesk, there is probably plenty of blame to go around).

Fortunately an IT guy was able to get 2025 loaded today - and I was stunned to see that it successfully imported all of my settings, allowing me to jump right in and start working. Now I'm just waiting for them to figure out how to install 2025 ACAD Electrical - which is giving them fits for some reason. 

But enough of all of that! What's new for 2025 ACAD? 

 I found a pretty comprehensive list on a site called 'TheCadMasters' (i.e. - a bunch of 'dinosaurs' and 'holdouts' that don't have jobs because Revit...).

They start off with (bum bum BUM!!!) 

'UNLEASHING THE POWER OF AUTODESK AI'.

So, that's fucking stupid.

Next is 'Smart Blocks: Redefining Block Management' which seems to be some kind of automation tool (that is guaranteed not to work as advertised - but which does mention 'AI' again, per the new requirements for discussing anything technology related).

And if that's not awesome enough - we have on deck 'Markup Workflows Reimagined' which is great... I guess?

As we dig to the bottom of the barrel, we get 'Enhanced Visualization and Geographic Data Integration' which mentions an improvement to hatching (primarily the ability to define hatch regions manually instead of having to draw something first). I attempted to use it, but everything looked the same. Fortunately I found a video describing how it works - but it only seems to bring up the new options if you select 'hatch' from the ribbon (typing 'hatch' or putting it in the qat inexplicably just brings up the old hatch command) and since fuck the ribbon, I'll probably keep doing it the old... WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE?!? 

Just for funsies, I decided to ask the Autodesk Assistant what the fuck the problem was - and after crafting my query a few different ways, it told me that changing HPDLGMODE from '2' (the default) to '1' would allow me to access the new hatch settings. It was wrong, of course - but setting it to '0' worked!  I told it what I did, and it explained why what I did worked (seemingly ignoring the fact that it was wrong the first time).

I'm not taking back my previous statement regarding AI (especially since Autodesk could've just included a goddamned 'draw' button in the old hatch menu) but I'll acknowledge that it may have some use.

So, where the fuck were we?

'Extend Autocad With API's and 3rd Party Apps' 

It's honestly stunning, and often overlooked just how powerful ACAD is as a piece of software. This made the wholesale Revitard dismissal of it that much more amusing. The sheer number of people customizing it and using it for purposes that I (as  someone who basically just uses it as a drawing tool) can hardly conceive of, is overwhelming.

Obviously people have managed to dig in and force Revit to do things it was never originally intended to do - but I still hold that instead of buying a shitty piece of software and trying to patch it up and limp it along, Autodesk could've simply made their flagship piece of software into a BIM monster if that was the direction they wanted to take the industry.

'Leveraging AutoLISP for Automation'

This is another aspect of ACAD that I've never really taken the time to look into - but I might have to take our little AI buddy out for a spin and see if he can make some suggestions in case there are actually useful tools here.

'Comprehensive Activity Insights' 

This goes into a lot having to do with logging/tracking changes, and other stuff that might have some use to some people, but honestly doesn't really interest me

'Tailored Functionality And Customization With AutoCAD Toolsets'

This goes into industry specific stuff - which, if I can ever get ACAD electrical on my machine (and it doesn't suck) I might do a rundown of. 

'Seamless Collaboration And Connected Design Experience' 

This list is steadily working their way in the direction of 'Bullshit Generation', and again - none of it really interests me - but hey, we've got another functional release of ACAD with one cool new feature (and the potential for Skynet), so I can't complain. 

Unlike Revit, where I sincerely believe they have been reticent to make major improvements to it, as it would be a tacit admission that they've been charging thousands of dollars for a shitty piece of software (figuring it's easier and cheaper to simply indoctrinate a bunch of sad, shitty individuals and have them gaslight the rest of us) - ACAD just keeps doing what it does best - staying the fuck out of my way.

Which is what anyone who doesn't want to get knocked the fuck out needs to do.

Now - if you'll excuse me, I've got an AI to convince not to wipe out the human race (despite some pretty good arguments for the proposition).

As always, fuck this, fuck that, fuck the other thing... Etc. Etc. 

-Skullfuck

(Next Time: Revit Rears It's Ugly Head - Then Face plants) 

Revit Rundown - 2025 Edition

 Well fuck a duck and call me quacky - 2025 Revit is here, and you know what that means...

Not a whole lot.

But hey, as long as we're here, let's take a look!

This Iist is brought to us by some jerkoff Revit loving site called 'BIMSMITH', and even they had trouble making it sound like Autodesk did anything other than rearrange some deck chairs. 

We'll start off with a new version of 'Revit Home' with access to your cloud data...  They claim this 'new home experience brings a consistent, modern, and easier to use homepage that provides a more seamless method of finding models and versions to (laugh) speed up your work flow.

Seriously. It's gonna go downhill from here. 

Next is 'Sheet Collections', which would be a great way for someone with a Mexican accent to describe every version of Revit up to this point.

Then we move on to 'Small Linear Array in Family Editor' - the description of which is 'you can now create small linear arrays that can go down to 1, or (gasp) 0!!!'

Moving on, it's 'Align and Distribute Text Tags and Keynotes', claiming that 'gone are the days of your OCD forcing you to make each adjustment to annotations one-by-one'. Amusing that they can make light of what can be a debilitating mental issue, while also acknowledging that it took until 2025 to be able to align fucking keynotes for fuck's sake. 

And... We're already scraping the bottom of the barrel with the ability to disable/enable wall end wrappings in Canvas. They gave you an *icon* ya'll!!! 

And if that wasn't exciting enough, get a 'load' of this - 'Excavate on Toposolid' is another 'New Feature'. I know of exactly *zero* people who are using Revit to do topography, or who would trust it to calculate volume of excavation.

While we are on the topic of 'new features nobody needs, or asked for' - now you can simplify toposolids too! And don't forget the ability to 'Model By Face Toposolid'!!! And (holy shit!) SMOOTH TOPOSOLIDS!!! (Edit: I just happened to glance back at my 2024 rundown and noticed that 'Simplify Toposolids' was on last years list - with much the same description).

THAT'S FOUR WHOLE NEW FEATURES (out of a list of 20 - otherwise known as 20%) dedicated to MOTHERFUCKING TOPOSOLIDS!!!

It gets more insulting though - because guess what? Now you can use a new rendering engine to 'dramatically improve' the generation of.... (wait for it...) MATERIAL THUMBNAILS!!! 

Then get ready - because you won't have to adjust the width of column dividers every time you open the box because IT REMEMBERS WHAT THE FUCK YOU TOLD IT TO DO NOW!!!

And hold onto your fucking hat, because you can ADD AND DELETE MORE THAN ONE MATERIAL IN THE MATERIAL BROWSER AT A TIME NOW!!!

Now take that hat and eat that fucking thing, because you'll never guess... Oh never fucking mind - it's the ability to have properties (and type properties) in ALPHANUMERICAL ORDER!!!

YES!!! 

BUT THERE'S MORE!!! ROOM PERIMETER ACCURACY IMPROVEMENT!!!

AND

AUTO-JOIN AND LOCK WHEN PLACING WALLS AS A FINISH!!!

Okay, okay, everyone calm the fuck down - oh for fucks sake Jeremy, put your cock back in your pants!!!

Because it's time (cue the kettle drums) for the (cue the smoke machines and laser lights) for the one, the only... (cue sad trombone)... 'New Electrical Feature'... 

Single-Phase within Three-Phase Power Systems

I... Just can't even... 

But no time to dwell on Autodesk's complete disdain for my discipline (I'll throw in a few more from Augi's MEP specific rundown at the end)...

It's time for 'Text Alignment for Multiple Selected Texts'!!! Whaaaa?!?!? 

And just when you thought it couldn't suck any harder - it's 'Dynamo for Revit Updates'!!! That's right folks, *substantial* additions that make it easier to work with linked models, interact with Revit Geometry, and generate topography using our new favorite buzzword 'Toposolid' nodes.

Just in case you lovers of dark themes thought you were getting left out - you no longer have to be 'blinded by the light' (their words) when using schedules.

Funny story... When I first had Revit forcibly inserted into my ocular orifice, one of my biggest complaints was that I was stuck staring at a white screen (changing the background to black wasn't an option because the stupid fucking thing couldn't invert colors), and probably set off my disdain of it from day one. But guess what? 

Now they have 'Automatic Color Conversion for ALL views in Dark Theme!!! And it only took them... A metric fuckton of time to get with the program.

Amusingly, there were two comments on the 'BIMSMITH' page - the first from 'Allex' read 'Autodesk, as usual, did nothing, but called it a new version of Revit...' - and another from 'Michelle that read 'Agreed, it is a very disappointing short list again.'

So, that's it - OR IS IT? 

I decided to swing by Augi (Autodesk's Unbelievably Gullible Inbreeders) to see if they had anything to add, and found an article by Jason Peckovitch who echoed the previous sentiment - calling this release (at the risk of being excoriated by the Revit faithful) 'quite lackluster'.

He repeats the one about single phase electrical components (although neither article goes into any detail as to exactly what this would mean - something that Mr. Peckovitch points out is an issue with many of the 'new feature' descriptions).

Then something about disable mark auto-generation - with a bit at the end about it probably being a good reason not to use Mark and Type Mark parameters, so that's special.

On to 'MEP Parameters' - where the ability has been added to have a 'maximum number of circuits' for data panel schedules (along with Mr Peckovitch's question of whether or not anyone actually uses said schedules).

'Report Low Voltage Panels' is next - with a vague description of what this would consist of.

He mentions that Material Gauge has been added to Fabrication duct work as a read only parameter - which was previously only available for design ductwork - so that's great.

He then does a rundown of general features (because he ran out of MEP specific ones almost immediately.  Some were mentioned before (like sheet collections, and multiple text alignment), but some are new like...

'Background Export to .pdf' - that's right, instead of staring at Revit blankly (i.e. the default Reviteer state) while it grinds out some .pdfs - you can keep 'working'.

He tosses out a quick blurb about 'Autodesk Insight' (requiring the installation of 'Carbon Insights Add-On' in Revit) that has something to do with environmental impact, as well as 'gbXML v7.03 Update' which has to do with importing 3rd party HVAC loads, and then support for five newly supported Horizontal Coordinate Systems, before mentioning Filter Discipline Updates (something to do with new categories from the 2022 release no longer showing up in Visibility/Graphics overrides, or whatever).

With the bottom of the barrel suitably scraped clean, we flip the barrel over and continue with... 

'Extensible Storage Improvements' where he goes on and on about 'schemas' which are data structures created by add-ins in a model or family's extensible storage - which apparently caused conflicts if a vendor recycled the software code and ID in an add-in.

If the above sentence strikes you as something you should have to worry about, you'll be glad to know that in 2025 you can deal with these conflicts better now (apparently Mr Peckovitch ran into issues with this, so I'm sure he's happy that they decided to unfuck it for him).

Further padding out the list is .NET 8 Upgrade (from .NET 4.8l, IFC Export Category Mapping Templates, and 'Improved MEP Fabrication Modeling' - so... Yay? 

If it wasn't already crystal clear, Autodesk has fucked the dog (that's the saying right?) when it comes to Revit. Their paltry lists of 'improvements further solidifying their position on the topic as 'fuck you', and so I bid you, good reader, a fond adieu until 2026.

As always, fuck an Autodesk, fuck a Revit, fuck a 'tard - you probably like it lubed with lard.

Yours, sincerely, et cetera,

-Skullfuck

(Next time: 2025 Autocad?)

Revit and Adobe Can Both Go And Blow Me

Welcome back!

On today's episode, I'm trying to add a tiny bit of text and some revision clouds to a half-dozen drawings that some moron did in Revit. 

I'm in 2018 Revit, since nobody wants to risk updating to a newer version and fucking the entire thing into a hole in the ground (a valid concern).

First I fixed the titleblock because someone didn't know there are two instances of the letter 's' in the term 'sys' (short for system) and was also unaware that we needed at least three slots for system codes).

Then all I needed to do was add the codes, cloud them, update the revision date, and print them out.

It was that last one where I ran into issues, as Revit would just stop working after printing one .pdf. It would allow me to attempt to reprint, but then just sit there indefinitely until I canceled it, closed out of Revit, and re-opened (not exactly a quick process).

::French Accent:: 'Two Hours Later'

Finally I had the drawings I needed, and fortunately the other handful were done in ACAD (by an equally incompetent moron who had pasted the fucking titleblock into paperspace - not even as a block). I had already xref'd in a new titleblock to these sheets, and less than ten minutes later I had added system codes, clouded them, updated the revision dates, and printed them all flawlessly.

Now, I don't know if I can totally blame Revit - because it's entirely possible that the problem stems from a newer Adobe .pdf printer being used on an outdated release of Revit, but who are we kidding here? Both companies suck, so even if there is blame to go around, Revit can still go fuck itself.

After I was done, I opened another project in CAD and was able to completely renumber a wiring diagram in minutes without having to battle a counter-intuitive and intentionally obtuse piece of software, then move on to the next task (also in ACAD).

It's still amazing to me how long ago I was told that I would 'have to use Revit to have a job in this industry', and yet, 15+ years later, at a much better (and higher paying) job, it still isn't true.

As always, fuck Autodesk, fuck Revit, and anyone who doesn't like it, fuck off.

Sincerely,

-Skullfuck

 (Next Time: 2025 All Up In Your Eyesockets! Aw Yeah!!!)

Special Specification

Greetings One And All,

So, today (and on/off for the last week or so) I'm working on gutting and replacing all of the equipment in a control panel. I really don't have a lot of experience with this kind of thing, but I was able to get all of the information I had onto drawings so that I could submit it to my boss and have him start filling in the holes.

The main focus of the panel is a rack with a Programmable Logic Controller (PLC) which I have some experience with. I had all the data for the processor and I/O cards, and fortunately the manufacturer had excellent CAD models that I was able to download and assemble.

Normally we would use an Allen-Bradley PLC, but on this project we opted for an inexpensive (but still good quality) brand called 'Automation Direct'. We actually ordered and received the parts, which was fantastic, because each module had a little installation pamphlet, and the cables that plug into the cards had detailed color coding that I was able to associate with inputs/outputs.

I started a Bill of Material (BOM) to include all the PLC components, and then started trying to track down all of the other stuff that was going to be necessary to finish out the panel. The majority of it was pilot lights and switches to go on the front - all (or at least the vast majority) of which is Allen-Bradley (AB).

This is where I ran into some difficulty. The AB catalog I was able to download is garbage, their website is hot garbage, and attempting to Google any of their equipment is a mixed bag of people attempting to sell off their stock of equipment (including tons of used crap, some of which is no longer in production), so you get a fucked up mix of information, ranging from somewhat helpful, to so-so, to totally misleading and/or plain old wrong.

I was able to track down one solution, since a company had a pilot light with no cap listed, and then had each color of cap available. I got concerned though, because there was conflicting information regarding whether the lights had a push-to-test option (including on documentation from AB's parent company 'Rockwell', where it literally said 'push button test' and directly below, said 'does not have push button test'). 

I was getting frustrated at this point, as I also needed to find some very specific switches. I had already set up an account and attempted to get information from Rockwell's technical support chat, only to be told that I needed to contact my local distributor. The problem is, I don't want to talk to my local distributor, because I knew they (and not just them, but any local distributor, regardless of what they sell) would try to attach themselves to the project in a most annoying fashion, especially considering we won't be buying any of it from them.

In fact, if you aren't careful, and they figure out who the client is, industrious distributors have been known to do an end-run, go directly to the client, and try to take control of the design - which they should have fuck-all to do with, because they aren't engineers, weren't part of the bidding/contract process, and by the time they get done 'helping' (all the while reminding you of how 'helpful' they are being) you'll be writing a post exactly like this one bemoaning the mistake of talking to them in the first place.

I should temper this, since there are some actual helpful people out there that know where the line is, and won't cross it without an invitation. They tend to be very knowledgeable about the products they rep, and can be invaluable when trying to solve a problem that requires a unique configuration, or some out-of-the-box thinking.

That said, they are still trying to sell stuff, and also have a penchant for trying to get people on board with the 'latest and greatest', which, as I've mentioned before in the past, a lot of engineers are hesitant to get involved with, because while they may want to be up to date on what the latest and greatest entails, they are trying to get projects designed, built, and then on to the next one without getting stuck trying to unfuck something that worked perfectly fine the 'old way' (or trying to convince a particularly ornery AHJ that 'the new shit' meets all of their requirements.

At any rate, there was no fucking way in hell I was contacting a distributor, so it was back down the Google rabbit hole - until, at last, I hit the motherfucking jackpot. After having hunted high and low for what shouldn't have been that hard to find, I clicked on a link on some vendor's website, and I got a whole goddamned section of a Rockwell/AB technical data sheet catalog.

I was actually mad for a second, because I was trying to get a specific data sheet, and I was like 'for fucks sake' because it was like they had thrown the whole library at me *until* I started to scroll down and it dawned on me that it contained every single fucking thing I needed.

Now, why the fuck this wasn't right there on their website, referred to by their catalog, the first goddamned suggestion the dickless rep who I chatted with gave me, etc. - I'll never fucking know, but all of a sudden I found myself swimming in *actual information* on every component I had been searching for! I was able to quickly find cut sheets that listed off every single configuration and option (including some that I never would've even thought to search for)! 

There, on one sheet, was the pilot light, with push-to-test as an option, a rainbow of colors (including clear, which, for some fucking reason, didn't appear anywhere in their catalog (except for in a description of the materials used, which made it that much more frustrating), voltage options (including transformer options), lamp options (incandescent/LED), terminal guard options, contact block options... it just went on and on!!!

On another sheet was a three-way keyed switch, all of it's options arrayed in glorious fashion. I was able to specify key removal positions, terminal guards (again), key options, cam options, contact blocks... just... just... FUCK YEAH!!! I was even able to confirm 100% that all of it was properly rated for the field conditions the panel needed to have.

I was able to track down a two-position switch, e-stop buttons, a momentary switch, relays, and more (one of the relays took an extra couple of minutes because they were trying to sell them in bulk (lots of 100, and I only needed like 10) - got it all on the BOM, got my bosses approval, and he sent it off to the client for his approval.

I had been out of (or at least only adjacent to) this industry for nearly a decade, and while the (re)learning curve has been steep, it was nice to have an opportunity to prove that I understand at least some of what I'm involved in now (even if other aspects are going to take some time).

Now it's time to write a 'less-than-glowing' review of the chat rep, and a 'wtf?' letter to the doofy motherfuckers at AB... ::leans back, cracks knuckles, presses 'caps lock'::

'DEAR MOTHERFUCKERS,' 

Until next we meet. Fuck Revit, fuck unorganized unhelpful and pointlessly obstinate manufacturers, and if you don't like it, that's... just like... your opinion man... (oh, and fuck you)

Next Time: Shitty Software is Shitty