Here I go, on another wild adventure.
My latest project is a massive three-story building (technically four, but the lowest floor isn't that big).
The client is fully onboard with the modern way of doing things - which seems to involve taking what used to be a relatively streamlined process (not without its faults, mind you), and just throwing software at it until your brain literally explodes.
I don't actually have much (if any) contact with the vast majority of our clients - allowing our salespeople to be a single point of contact, because I don't generally need that much input from them to design my systems (and any input I do get is generally wrong).
In this case, we had something of a 'kick-off meeting' and spent the majority of it discussing the process they were using to field comments - using 'Bluebeam Revu' which allows multiple users to access a .pdf, make comments (using a custom toolset that the client created to keep everyone's comments consistent) and which then compiles the comments into a list with the commenters name, who the comment is directed at, what (if any) resolution there is, and dates for each.
The problem is, while you can download a free demo of Bluebeam Revu, a license for it is $332, and while that's not a huge amount of money (I believe that's for a perpetual license) we don't use it for anything else, so I was like 'fuck off'.
During the same meeting they told us that they would have someone get us into all of the other programs they are using, but it wasn't until I started trying to submit my designs (and still hadn't received anything to let me into those other programs) that they finally broke down and gave us access.
We are a sub for our client, who is a sub for someone else - and the actual owner of the project is (rightly) very concerned about the security of the drawings, because it is a fairly sensitive project (not as sensitive as the one the engineering firm in our office took on last year that required them to convert one of the offices into a secure area, but still somewhat sensitive).
This meant that we couldn't use e-mail to send any files - but because nobody had given me access to any of the other systems, I just started encrypting e-mails and sending them - so that nobody could try to claim I wasn't doing my work.
The (very slow) response was to eventually start bombarding me with e-mails to set up accounts for nearly half a dozen different services - and no instructions as to which one they wanted to use for what. First came 'Box' (basically drop-box, but with two-factor authentication), and so I assumed 'hey - I can submit my shit here! But no!
They wanted me to submit all of my work through BIM360 (I honestly don't know how these fucktards didn't try to drag us into their Revit model - which would've added yet another layer of dipshittery to the project), so I got set up and submitted one completed set of drawings on a smaller building, and a proposal for a system on the larger one (after I finally figured out how the fuck to even get logged into it - the first time I did, it just wanted to sell me shit).
Then there was 'BIM 360 Glue' (which is some kind of collaboration bullshit), and 'Fieldwire' (which is for jobsite management) - did I mention that each of these services wants to send you daily e-mails to try to sell you more services? Because they absolutely do until you opt out.
On top of all of this, they wanted to have weekly meetings to discuss... probably more programs? I don't know - I can guarantee it's nothing that is going to help me get the project completed. I ended up having to convert .pdfs into CAD so I could even get started, got them all cleaned up, put my devices in - and then found out that it is WAY THE FUCK TOO EARLY FOR ME TO BE WORKING ON THIS PROJECT because they are still trying to finalize floor plans.
I manually tweaked the plans (which fucking suck, by the way - more on that in a second), and will probably end up having to do this multiple times before the project is done. I don't know how many billable hours the salesman included in the project, but I can absolutely guarantee it isn't enough. I'm probably going to back off of it for a little while and play catch-up on some other fucked up projects - including one that just came in that is a tenant finish out inside of the tower debacle I previously described.
But before I do that - let's take a quick look at some of the shit these Reviting dumbfucks thought passed for 'quality design work'. This building is pretty elaborate - with areas that are open to floors above, some areas straight up ARE two stories high inside, and (if I had to guess) it is going to be built into the side of a hill, which is why there is a small lower level, and at least one place on the third floor where you are looking out at the roof of the second floor.
When I started trying to clean the drawings up, I was instantly met with the classic view range issues that I'm used to seeing when morons and Revit meet. Stacked bathroom blocks showing both bathrooms, fixtures and equipment penetrating walls, showing up on other floors, duplicates pasted in randomly (bringing back memories of screaming at the thing as I desperately try to insert something, only for it to not show up - not realizing that it selected some random surface that I can't currently see to attach it to).
They fixed a few of the more egregious problems when they issued their next set of .pdfs - and it was obvious they had to call in their 'Revit Guru' to help them navigate the quadrillion trillion bazillion view settings - but even then, there are just rookie fuckups all throughout (made even worse by the fact that they've got multiple disciplines all sharing the same model over 'the cloud', and you never know if they actually spent the decade (or how ever long it takes) to make sure they have everyone's latest and greatest attempts at playing 'catch-up' in the drawings.
All of this would be just hilarious to me if I didn't know for a fact that, despite all of the duplicated effort, wasted time attempting to 'coordinate' by using twelve different pieces of software (instead of, you know, 'talking to people') and trying to model EVERYTHING down to the gnat's ass (I'm not even going to comment on any specific examples of unnecessary 3d fuckery - but be assured, they were copious), they are going to get out in the field, start building this thing, and only then realize how many major fuckups that nobody (or at least nobody that anyone listens to) noticed were still present in their design.
They'll have been showing off the 3D model to the owner to 'ooh and ahh' them, but the people the owner sent to be 'oohed and ahhhed' won't be the ones that actually have any knowledge of how the building will be built, or how they actually need it to function - and it won't be until the building is under construction (or even nearing completion) that they'll come out, inspect it, and go 'hey - what about this thing that we said was very important that we get implemented in the design?' and everyone will go 'huh?'.
They will repeat 'yeah - we told (insert name of person who was only ever tangentially involved in any aspect of the design) that it was essential that we have the ability to do (insert name of design aspect that would've been simple to implement at the beginning of the design, but devastatingly hard at this phase) - and everyone will be sitting in the ruins of their project, cloud based applications, and other bullshit - and that's when the AHJ will show up and inform them that they've got code compliance issues because of changes that got made at the last second but that didn't flow down through the design.
Oh well. Fuck 'em.
It's a mugs game.
Until whenever the fuck I come up with something else to bitch about,
-Skullz 'n Fuckz
P.S. - I knew there was one more program they wanted us to use - I happened to be rummaging through my e-mail to find something else, and ran across 'Kahua' (for Construction Management). I mean Jesus Fucking Christ people...
Next Time: I've Got Them Bluebeam Blues.
