Autodick Revshit

So there I am, actually using Revit - and it's behaving itself for a change (still sucking ass, but at least pretending to be a functional set of software).

I'm even making some headway on the fucked up mess of a project that I'm having to put several others on hold to do - and it makes it all the way to 4:00 before taking a gigantic shit on me.

I'm almost completely done (with what I could've had done before lunch - although aspects of the project are *almost* equally to blame for that), finally on the home stretch, with light at the end of the tunnel.

And then, like the useless half-ass piece of shit that it is, it won't let me circuit the fucking lights (for no reason).  I can select any one light and connect it to a panel, but it won't let me add any more fixtures to the same circuit (and isn't displaying correctly on the schedule - but I could've worked around that).

I pondered just filling up several panels with one light on each circuit, but I somehow stop short of saying 'fuck it' (although I did say 'fuck' a lot) and slapping a coat of bimwash on it, and (against my better judgement) decided to ask around if anyone knows what the fuck is going on.

Now, I've had this godforsaken software fuck me over in just about every way imaginable, but this is the first time for this particular problem.  Two of us sit down and try every possible thing we can think of to no avail - both of us wasting well over an hour before calling it a day.

I am sending the bitches at Autodesk a fucking bill - I can't even imagine the obscene amount of wasted time that the Revit community has amassed during its existence, although I'm sure it has canceled out any supposed time 'saved'.

Even if people aren't directly wasting their time banging their head into yet another wall that Revit tosses in their path, there seems to be a tendency for users to sit around just staring blankly at their screens, or mindlessly panning/zooming/rotating the model.

While we were trying to find some kind if logic for this latest epic failure of Revit to simply DO WHAT THE FUCK I NEED IT TO DO we tossed out just about every possibility, and were to the point of assuming there was something wrong with the file, when it occurred to me that before it had taken a shit, I had been able to circuit the exterior lights with no problem (other than not showing up on the schedule correctly, but again - I can work around that).

It is my hope that by taking this fixture and modifying its geometry, I can slap something together that is passable, and then get back to figuring out how to get two whole other projects done - fortunately for those I have software that I know won't fuck me over.

I was flipping through a couple of message boards filled to the brim with Revit haters (i.e. - realists), including some on the Autodesk site.  The last post was from last year, and it was surprising that they hadn't been moderated, because they weren't pulling any punches.

A recurring topic (besides how mind-numbingly bad Revit is) was how Architects tended to bully Engineers into using Revit - which matches my (and the vast majority of other users) experience.

I'll dig up a few of these next time and compare/contrast different people's attitudes towards having shitty software force-fed to them.

Until then, Revit can eat a dick, and its fans/cheerleaders can eat a whole bag (each).

Skullfuck out.

Down in a Revit Hole

It's comical listening to someone hold forth on the benefits of Revit, and in the same breath complain about not having a day off for over two weeks (or in the foreseeable future), or having a day where they aren't plugging away at the Revit grindstone for 12+ hours).

While I'm sure it's great to get massive overtime, it isn't helping their physical or mental well-being, and it sure as fuck isn't helping the bottom line.  It isn't the amount of work they are doing that is keeping them here, since their production is roughly the same as when they were using ACAD (although getting them to admit it is a whole other trick), it's all of the extra time and effort they are spending finding yet another 'workaround'.

I've been fortunate to be able to avoid Revit on every single project that I'm working on right now, except one.  And it's a motherfucker.

Even if it were being done in ACAD, it would be a motherfucker, but at least I wouldn't be fighting two battles. Even if I were the UberReviteer it would be a motherfucker because it's a total clusterfuck.  The project manager is highly intelligent, but in outer space, and it's not just one project, but half a dozen, none of which have any clearly defined scope, and of course schedules are vague - until 'OMFG I GOTTA HAVE IT RIGHT NOW!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU DONE?!?!!?!? YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE DONE!?!?! (actually I didn't tell you  anything of the sort - and you fucking know it).

The saddest part is that I can guarantee the customer doesn't even have the first clue that it's being done in Revit (or what that actually means even if they do).  To them it's just a stack of 2D sheets of paper that they can mark endlessly on, not realizing that we can no longer just slap some shit together on it (well, we can - but then people get butthurt about 'bimwashing').

Fuck this project, and fuck everyone gleefully plugging away at it 14 hours a day for no gain, and no profit.  I could export it into ACAD and be done with the bulk of it by the end of the day (so that I can jump on the other two projects that I'm supposed to have basically completed by tomorrow) but instead, I'm going to waste most of the day dicking around with a useless piece of shit program.

Fuck Revit, Fuck Autodesk, and (as always) if you don't like it - then FUCK YOU.

Sincerely,
Mr. Skullfuck Esq.

Revit Russian Roulette

Using Revit is the equivalent of putting a loaded gun to your head and pulling the trigger.

The problem is that the gun is not a revolver with only one bullet, but instead a semi-automatic pistol that already has a round in the chamber, guaranteeing that you will not only blow your own head off (and probably manage to clip someones arm or leg with the ricochet), but the survivors will be responsible for cleaning up the fucking mess that you left behind.

I get handed a project, told 'this has to be done in Revit', but the fee is microscopic.  'Oh - these will be prototypes - so we'll make our money back later' is the Revitards response.  The problem is that not only are they NOT prototypes (each one going into a differently shaped building) there's really no such thing as a 'Revit Prototype'.

You will be doing this shit, from scratch, every single fucking time.  With equally retarded schedules, none of the information you repeatedly request, and no money to take a trip out to the site to see if the shitty fucking building they are trying to cram it into even has capacity for it.

People are amazing with how willing they are to assume that things will 'just work', despite repeatedly running into major problems that could have been avoided by asking some fairly basic questions at the beginning of a project - of course, since they were busy setting up the project in Revit, and making assumption after assumption in order to pound a passable (albeit still extremely shitty looking) set of drawings, they couldn't be bothered with 'details'.

The Revit Bait And Switch

This probably won't be the first time that I've griped about the disregard for standards that the Revit hive-mind displays.

Obviously there is a whole world of design where you are allowed to go all crazy-go-nuts with dimensions, angles, creative ways to waste space, etc. - however even those designers with relaxed limitations on budget and scope can't just toss everything out the window (through the screened facade and into the intentionally exposed exterior structural members).

In the meantime, most projects have to get built on a reasonable schedule and budget (even if they start off with dreams of huge glass skylights and massive cantilevered verandas).  This requires the use of at least a handful of standards that most architects (but few Revitards) understand as the key to a successful design.

This brings me to the point of today's rant - when most projects come in, someone (usually a Revitard) is told to slap together a model based on some vague criteria, so they fill in the holes with assumptions, and try to put together something passable. 

The next step is for that model to be foisted onto someone else (a Revitard/Architect Lackey) - who may or may not have been previously aware that the project even existed, and who is now responsible for figuring out where the design criteria/scope, intent of the architect, and standard building practices were adhered to, and where they went off into space.

This isn't about limitations on design - but the second you start down that road, there needs to be a mutual awareness between everyone involved (most importantly the person with the purse-strings) that we are now deviating from what you are going to get for the $/s.f. cost that you probably based your budget on.

What I'm talking about is someone being handed a project, and basically told 'look - we helped you out by having someone who may or may not know what they are doing (or care) make a Revit model'.  This renders any argument that spending half the budget to model an existing shell building (for example) just so that you can design a tenant finish is a waste of time/money, because it's already been wasted.

Then (usually only after substantial completion of the design) it occurs to someone to take some measurements of the existing tenant space, only to find out that 'holy fuck - we've been basing everything off of an arbitrary set of dimensions that someone made up off the top of their head when they started the model'.



If it's an office space, or other simple project, no big fucking deal - if it's a restaurant, laboratory, or industrial space with specific requirements for space, clearance, connections, etc. - then it's a big fucking deal.  That's the promise of Revit though - everything will get coordinated.  The problem is that if everything is fucking wrong, then everything gets coordinated fucking wrong (a classic example of garbage in/garbage out).

Then there are the things that get completely overlooked - since  MEP doesn't get brought on board until Revitards/Retarditects already dicked around for weeks/months tweaking the design only to find out that (usually because they are inexperienced at design - but especially because they are paying more attention to Reviting than to designing) they haven't planned any room for electrical panels, water service entrances, sprinkler risers, water heaters, ductwork, HVAC units,

And that's before they start having to tweak it endlessly because a real Architect finally put their eyes on a set of hastily assembled drawings with pathetic presentation graphics, and noticed that the design did not take into account various code requirements, requiring considerable rework. 

As I said last time, it's a good thing they love Revit, because they'll get to use it to try to beat the bastardized model into something that can actually go through the permitting process, be approved, built, inspected, and occupied (and the owner finally stops fucking with it). Again - kudos to the fuckheads attempting to make (and in some cases succeeding at making) submission of a Revit model one of the requirements do just that.

Because now you get to live out your dream - of dragging everyone down into hell with you...

A Post-Revit World

Fuck the sad piece of shit that is Revit.

Fuck it's inability to do anything except for waste time, money, mental effort, and fuck up project schedules.

Nothing is more infuriating than watching someone - be they architect, architect lackey, engineer, or designer go into a project all gung-ho about doing them some revitin', and the next thing you know, someones hair is on fire for it (and/or another project that is languishing in a similar hell).

They aren't done, and don't have a chance of being done.  Fuck, they aren't even to a point where 'done' is a real thing yet - they still have so much to do, and it is all going to be done 'the Revit way' (as opposed to the right way.

The look of suffering in the eyes of the lackeys and designers would break your heart if they didn't already want to make you break their faces for having already willingly spent countless hours in Revit, only to find out that now they need to finish on a schedule that is has been cut in half (or more).

Fortunately for the ones that claim to love Revit, they'll get to love it all weekend.

Fuck 'em.

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

I ran across a very astute statement in a comment section earlier:

"It is my belief that any Contractor, Architect, or Engineer that says anything positive about Revit is trying to get work. Anyone who stands up and says Revit is no-good is looked upon as a weaker designer. Weaker designers get less work. So everyone perpetuates the lie (emphasis mine) that Revit is a useful design/documentation tool. Revit is a miserable program."

The only upside of what he says here is that we continue to prove that the Revit line is bullshit, because we keep picking up projects that people attempted to do in Revit, missed deadlines, and we now turn around in record time in ACAD.

We know when we're being bullshitted - and this 'Charles River Software' just ain't cutting it.  Even Autodesk knows it - which is why Revit will be going away soon.  They've been up against the limits of what this piece of shit cannibalized 3rd party software is capable of for a long time now.

Who knows?  Maybe its replacement will actually be the software that Revit always promised it would be - kind of like Microsoft releasing Windows 7 to bring Vista users (who remembered XP) down off the ledge (only to be put them back up there by pooping out Windows 8).

I can foresee the post-Revit world - to the new system...

Designed from the ground up with a focus on being fast , reliable, and intuitive - and not just some slapped together clusterfuck that wouldn't have made it out of beta testing at any respectable software company.

There will, of course, be a few sad, pathetic hold-outs who don't want to stop using Revit in exchange for the new, obviously superior system - but fortunately most already demonstrated their willingness to jump on a bandwagon before, so they will change again.

The grumbling of both Revit users (soon to be ex-Revit users), and ACAD holdouts (soon to be ex-ACAD holdouts) will soon be quelled, and the two will finally have something to rejoice about - BUT ONLY IF AUTODESK IS WILLING TO GET THEIR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF THEIR ASSES, AND GET TO WORK.

And they aren't going to to do that unless someone demands it - so WE HAVE TO DEMAND IT.

We have to demand an END TO REVIT - sooner rather than later.

Kneel Before ACAD

You are not fucking worthy.