Greetings and Salutations.
Let's get right down to it - the concept of the Revit 'Guru' is a strange one - this is commonly used to refer to someone who has 'mastered' (i.e. masturbated eagerly to) Revit. The term 'Guru' itself comes from Sanskrit and is used in various religions (Hinduism/Buddhism/etc.) to describe a 'teacher' or 'master', usually one who imparts experiential knowledge to their students.
The term has also been misappropriated by various cults to describe their 'leaders' in order to impart them with a 'mystical' quality - and that's a much more accurate description of the average Revit 'Guru'. They are the one within any Revit burdened firm that has taken their fascination with sucking their own dick to a whole other level.
Without fail, they will have ingratiated themselves to management (see also: 'Sanctimonious Motherfuckers (tm)'), and set themselves up as the 'go to' for any time Revit decides it wants to shit itself, refuse to do some simple task (that it was just doing a minute ago), or otherwise fuck up, break, glitch, crash, lose information, or corrupt a file.
They can sometimes be useful if you are stuck trying to overcome some herculean task (like putting a receptacle into a drawing), only to have it refuse to show up - even after going through reveal hidden elements, visibility graphics, detail level, view range, cut plane, blah blah blah, on and on, WHAT THE FUCK?, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, GODDAMMIT, etc. etc.
The problem is, you don't want to pull them in until you've tried every single possible thing (so that you can shoot down their attempts to wave their hands with vague references to every single possible thing). It's a self-defense mechanism on the part of the Revit 'Guru' to be such an utter fucking twat that people will only call them in on a problem as a last resort.
Basically - a Revit 'Guru' is what pops out when you have a whole firm of people wasting their time Reviting and one finally takes it upon themselves to man the helm (and go down with the ship). They keep the Revit dream alive by pumping it full of drugs and hooking it to various life support machines.
Anything to keep from having to admit what I think most of them already know (and some of them are even willing to admit, if only partially, and only then in private, and even then only after a bit of cajoling), and that is Revit is a stinking pile of shit that fucks over everyone even tangentially exposed to it.
Interestingly, you never hear anyone talk about being Architectural or Engineering 'Guru' - if you want to be an Architect or Engineer you go to school, you put in your time, you pass the tests, and you bust your ass to become one (so that you can put your ass on the line while idiots waste time wanking over new software or technology).
The person who wrote 'Want To Be An Architect? Don't Learn Revit' article understood this - they knew that a piece of software (even a good one) doesn't define the discipline. Much less a brain damaged, donkey-fucking, shitfest like the one I've been staring at all morning - which in it's grand 2016 release has the ribbon icons decide to occasionally just FUCKING DISAPPEAR.
Now, most of you know that normally, I'm all for the Ribbon fucking off and disappearing - it's the first thing to go bye-bye in ACAD when I set up a new version, and it's been a dream of mine to make it go bye-bye in Revit as well, but in the meantime it's a necessary evil to be able to access all the bullshit 'tools' and 'features'.
If I'm working along and suddenly my 'tools' and 'features' are now a blank grey field (cycling through 'minimize to tabs/titles/buttons' sometimes brings it back, but eventually it will disappear) then this already totally useless hunk of shit has moved even further into complete and utter EAT SHIT AND DIE territory.
Closing and restarting is the only way I have found to fix it - which, depending on the 'model' you are working in at the time (and how many other people are hammering the server by opening/saving their shitty 'models') can take a couple of minutes - at best. This is not fucking acceptable - at any level. The Reviteers just shrug their shoulders though - they are used to banging their heads into useless fucking software. At this point, you could shit directly into their mouth, call it a new Revit feature, and they would probably believe you.
In closing, and as always, IF YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR PROPAGATING THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU NEED TO FUCK OFF, EAT SHIT, AND DIE PAINFULLY WHILE WATCHING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE BEING BURNED, CRUSHED, AND DESTROYED IN FRONT OF YOU.
Sincerely,
Skullfukd.
Next Time: Maintaining Your Motherfucking Model - BITCH!
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