Special Specification

Greetings One And All,

So, today (and on/off for the last week or so) I'm working on gutting and replacing all of the equipment in a control panel. I really don't have a lot of experience with this kind of thing, but I was able to get all of the information I had onto drawings so that I could submit it to my boss and have him start filling in the holes.

The main focus of the panel is a rack with a Programmable Logic Controller (PLC) which I have some experience with. I had all the data for the processor and I/O cards, and fortunately the manufacturer had excellent CAD models that I was able to download and assemble.

Normally we would use an Allen-Bradley PLC, but on this project we opted for an inexpensive (but still good quality) brand called 'Automation Direct'. We actually ordered and received the parts, which was fantastic, because each module had a little installation pamphlet, and the cables that plug into the cards had detailed color coding that I was able to associate with inputs/outputs.

I started a Bill of Material (BOM) to include all the PLC components, and then started trying to track down all of the other stuff that was going to be necessary to finish out the panel. The majority of it was pilot lights and switches to go on the front - all (or at least the vast majority) of which is Allen-Bradley (AB).

This is where I ran into some difficulty. The AB catalog I was able to download is garbage, their website is hot garbage, and attempting to Google any of their equipment is a mixed bag of people attempting to sell off their stock of equipment (including tons of used crap, some of which is no longer in production), so you get a fucked up mix of information, ranging from somewhat helpful, to so-so, to totally misleading and/or plain old wrong.

I was able to track down one solution, since a company had a pilot light with no cap listed, and then had each color of cap available. I got concerned though, because there was conflicting information regarding whether the lights had a push-to-test option (including on documentation from AB's parent company 'Rockwell', where it literally said 'push button test' and directly below, said 'does not have push button test'). 

I was getting frustrated at this point, as I also needed to find some very specific switches. I had already set up an account and attempted to get information from Rockwell's technical support chat, only to be told that I needed to contact my local distributor. The problem is, I don't want to talk to my local distributor, because I knew they (and not just them, but any local distributor, regardless of what they sell) would try to attach themselves to the project in a most annoying fashion, especially considering we won't be buying any of it from them.

In fact, if you aren't careful, and they figure out who the client is, industrious distributors have been known to do an end-run, go directly to the client, and try to take control of the design - which they should have fuck-all to do with, because they aren't engineers, weren't part of the bidding/contract process, and by the time they get done 'helping' (all the while reminding you of how 'helpful' they are being) you'll be writing a post exactly like this one bemoaning the mistake of talking to them in the first place.

I should temper this, since there are some actual helpful people out there that know where the line is, and won't cross it without an invitation. They tend to be very knowledgeable about the products they rep, and can be invaluable when trying to solve a problem that requires a unique configuration, or some out-of-the-box thinking.

That said, they are still trying to sell stuff, and also have a penchant for trying to get people on board with the 'latest and greatest', which, as I've mentioned before in the past, a lot of engineers are hesitant to get involved with, because while they may want to be up to date on what the latest and greatest entails, they are trying to get projects designed, built, and then on to the next one without getting stuck trying to unfuck something that worked perfectly fine the 'old way' (or trying to convince a particularly ornery AHJ that 'the new shit' meets all of their requirements.

At any rate, there was no fucking way in hell I was contacting a distributor, so it was back down the Google rabbit hole - until, at last, I hit the motherfucking jackpot. After having hunted high and low for what shouldn't have been that hard to find, I clicked on a link on some vendor's website, and I got a whole goddamned section of a Rockwell/AB technical data sheet catalog.

I was actually mad for a second, because I was trying to get a specific data sheet, and I was like 'for fucks sake' because it was like they had thrown the whole library at me *until* I started to scroll down and it dawned on me that it contained every single fucking thing I needed.

Now, why the fuck this wasn't right there on their website, referred to by their catalog, the first goddamned suggestion the dickless rep who I chatted with gave me, etc. - I'll never fucking know, but all of a sudden I found myself swimming in *actual information* on every component I had been searching for! I was able to quickly find cut sheets that listed off every single configuration and option (including some that I never would've even thought to search for)! 

There, on one sheet, was the pilot light, with push-to-test as an option, a rainbow of colors (including clear, which, for some fucking reason, didn't appear anywhere in their catalog (except for in a description of the materials used, which made it that much more frustrating), voltage options (including transformer options), lamp options (incandescent/LED), terminal guard options, contact block options... it just went on and on!!!

On another sheet was a three-way keyed switch, all of it's options arrayed in glorious fashion. I was able to specify key removal positions, terminal guards (again), key options, cam options, contact blocks... just... just... FUCK YEAH!!! I was even able to confirm 100% that all of it was properly rated for the field conditions the panel needed to have.

I was able to track down a two-position switch, e-stop buttons, a momentary switch, relays, and more (one of the relays took an extra couple of minutes because they were trying to sell them in bulk (lots of 100, and I only needed like 10) - got it all on the BOM, got my bosses approval, and he sent it off to the client for his approval.

I had been out of (or at least only adjacent to) this industry for nearly a decade, and while the (re)learning curve has been steep, it was nice to have an opportunity to prove that I understand at least some of what I'm involved in now (even if other aspects are going to take some time).

Now it's time to write a 'less-than-glowing' review of the chat rep, and a 'wtf?' letter to the doofy motherfuckers at AB... ::leans back, cracks knuckles, presses 'caps lock'::

'DEAR MOTHERFUCKERS,' 

Until next we meet. Fuck Revit, fuck unorganized unhelpful and pointlessly obstinate manufacturers, and if you don't like it, that's... just like... your opinion man... (oh, and fuck you)

Next Time: Shitty Software is Shitty