Monday, March 11, 2019

Just Add Stupid

Cock 'n Balls!

Ah, what a glorious day!

I was sick as fuck last week, and still managed to finish banging out one massive High School, a slightly less massive Elementary School (both of which supplied me with piss-poor Revitized floor plans that were sad jokes), and then dove into my next project: an addition to a college dorm.

As usual, I would rather do three new projects (regardless of how badly the floor plans are drawn) than have to deal with one attempt at modifying an existing building.  Fortunately we did the original building (before my time), so I was able to bring in the existing devices and get right to wo....

No wait - instead (after cleaning up the hatching-fest that was the garbage Revit drawings that I was provided) I attempted to overlay the new devices, only to find out that the moron responsible for regenerating the entire fucking thing in 3D was dangerously incompetent, and almost nothing lines up.

Now, it's possible that the original drawings were not drawn accurately (but not probable, since they were done before Revit got on the scene and starting ejaculating its diseased semen all over the industry).  More likely is that they went out and took some inaccurate measurements, then tried to cram it all together in Revit - while also making various modifications to the plans - and finally slapped an addition on the end.

Then the guy who laid out the new equipment in the new and existing areas smoked a big heaping bowl of crack, and attempted to 'design' (using that word in the loosest possible way) a system that would supposedly be sufficient to address the existing portions, the modified portions, and the new addition.

Now it falls to me to figure out what the FUCK the final system design for the whole damn building is going to look like.  I've already attempted contacting the poor fuck who sold/priced it, and I can guarantee that he hasn't even thought of (or been aware of) the majority of the items on my list (and I wouldn't be surprised if he either fails to respond, or responds with standard, non-committal nonsense that will make it obvious he didn't actually read my e-mail).

I copied the owner of my damn company on it too though, so it's not impossible that I might get some clarification on it.

It wouldn't be the first time I've had a project tossed in my lap, hair on fire, with nobody having any clue what is going on - no schedule or budget to do it properly, and which will most likely come back multiple times as things that could've easily been worked out on the front end by adults who know how to communicate and use reasoning, become a clusterfuck of assumptions.

I regularly joke about every project that comes through the doors being the 'first project we've ever done', meaning that they make the same damn mistakes every time they sell a project, and have the same expectation that everyone involved is a goddamned mind reader (rather than putting together even the most basic 'theory of operation' so that we don't take off in the wrong direction and end up having to spend extra time and effort correcting course).

It can be highly amusing at times, as we go through the same process of explaining to them what we actually need to know in order to properly design and complete a project, but it can also be extremely frustrating as we go through the same damn process of explaining to them what the fuck we need to know in order to properly design and complete a project.

It bounces directly off some people's brains, because they think we'll just 'figure it out', and while we are absolutely 'figure it out' masters, there's a point at which they are relying on our ability to do this after the fact, and it makes them think they don't have to be involved - either on the front end, while it's in the works, or afterward.

Then you get the most hilarious e-mail/phone call where they ask 'why isn't this like this' or 'why didn't we do such and such like so and so', and you get to point them to the e-mails where you kept asking them to DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS and they kept doing the old generalized hand-waving routine rather than get hard facts.

In the meantime, I was at the movies the other night and by a weird coincidence ran into the guy that used to be the 'Revit Guru' at my last firm.  I had seen on Facebook where his wife was opining his being let go (fired?)  I didn't bother getting any more detail, but he has landed himself a job, amusingly, at the firm that did the job I was complaining about in "A Machline Made In Hell"

I doubt he had anything to do with that particular project, because it's a massive firm with field offices all over the damn place, but I have little doubt that he's spreading his Revit stupidity far and wide - making the same stupid excuses for why they still haven't fixed basic functionality, and defending it against all enemies (real and perceived).

Anyhow, Fuck Revit, Fuck Autodesk, Fuck you, and Goddamn Am I Tired.

Suck A Fat One,


Next Time: ?

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

The Continued March Of The Dumbfucks

Good Day Sirs/Madams,

So the incompetence continues into 2019, with my first major project coming across my desk this morning - another large school, fortunately all new and shiny, but no less of a mongolian clusterfuck.

The first thing I do is start flipping through the .pdf set they sent - and it's pretty straightforward - except for some 'typical' classrooms and other 'enlarged' areas.

I pull up the CAD files they exported out from what I don't doubt is Revit (although, other than the drawings looking like total shit, I haven't run across anything that would indicate Revitization (I usually find at least one or two guaranteed tell-tale signs, like circles that are two half circles (for whatever reason).

I got CAD files for both the Architectural and the Electrical Systems that I need - the Electrical drawings looked like total garbage.  Both are broken up into views on individual sheets rather than one overall floor plan (and I don't have time to waste trying to extract a better set), but despite there being 60 fucking  .dwg files for the Architectural, it's still inexplicably missing one corner of the building, and the entire second floor.

It's also missing two field houses - which I have Electrical .pdfs for that I'm going to convert to CAD (since the CAD files are missing backgrounds), one of which is supposed to be for baseball (according to the title on the sheet) but which is labeled 'football' on the view titles (the second one has 'football' for both the sheet and view titles, so I'm pretty sure I figured it out, despite their stupidity).

There's also the issue of one corner of the building's electrical drawings inexplicably missing some of the text (from what should be symbol blocks - but which are all exploded), but I can infer it from the other drawings, and I'm going to be replacing everything with my far superior symbols anyway.  Oh - and where that drawing should be connected to the rest of the building is fucked up, so their drawings are actually missing all of the devices that belong on the other side of a door (but again, I'm smart enough to infer them).

I was wrong when I said that I didn't have any of the typical indications of Revitardation - obvious problems with view range started cropped up, causing several windows to disappear on their plans.  It's fairly inconsequential to my drawings, but as I always say 'holy fucking shit, I can't believe these people are issuing this kind of garbage', and as I always say back 'it's not surprising, considering some poor Revit monkey probably reached the end of their rope, and said 'fuck it - good enough'.

Still not excusable.

Nearly every single door in the building is missing a frame (and by 'frame' I'm referring to a fucking rectangle to connect the door to the wall) - this was the first reason that I really wanted to clean up the Architectural plans (since they looked a little better) but without the upper right hand corner of the building, or the entire second fucking floor, I had to just go with the shitty looking Electrical plans (although if I get a chance, I might go ahead and fix up the doors).

All this bullshit just to get a functional background to work on - but even when I get done, it will have been less stress than just opening a Revit model and trying to figure out how badly it is fucked up (and then coming in every day not knowing how much more fucked up it will be).

I simply can't imagine working in that kind of environment anymore.  It would be like going out to my car every morning and not knowing if the engine is going to start, or turn into a giant gay unicorn with rainbows shooting out of its ass.

No matter how fucked up my day gets, or how far off the rails a project goes, I always know I've got the tools and the ability to de-fuck and re-rail it - and that's golden.

Fuck Autodesk, fuck Revit, fuck Reviteers, and fuck you if you don't like it.


Next Time: Addition Perdition

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

IT'S 2019 BITCHES!!!!!

And I'm still not using Revit for anything other than to receive shitty looking drawings like this:

That's right ladies and gentlefuckers - that there is a pair of tables that someone managed to attach to structural elements.  It took me a minute to figure out what was going on because (somehow) part of the chairs had disappeared as well.

This is a fairly common issue that I run across when cleaning up the garbage vomited forth from the Revit dumpster fire.  Entire sections of plans are sometimes obscured by things that are either accidentally dropped into the model (or a linked model), or are intentionally put there, but are supposed to show up at a different level - and someone either couldn't figure out how (or couldn't be bothered to give a shit) about correcting it.

It's never surprising, considering that NASA's TESS satellite has just identified 14 trillion additional view range settings orbiting Revit.  In this case it was fairly simple to fix because there were similar elements nearby that could copied over after deleting the offending linework - but that's not always the case.

The lines that remain after some nonsensical piece of equipment or other element leave a gaping hole in a floor plan can sometimes be used to deduce how it was intended to look, but it can be a crap shoot.  Sometimes I can look at .pdfs of another discipline's plans and infer more information - but more often than not, I have to just make my best guess.

The fact is, nobody is going to build the building from my plans, so they don't have to be perfect.  They are mostly just for installing the systems we are providing (often by our own installers) - but they may have to go through various city/county/state/federal review processes, and I can't submit my drawings with a whole chunk of plan missing.

In cases where some misguided dipshit actually sends us the Revit model itself, we have an opportunity to fix it before exporting (since we have access to Revit through the other firm in our office), but in the time wasted opening a Revit model, watching it start the hour-long process to upgrade to the current version, cancel, then re-open it in the correct version, it can usually just be tweaked in CAD.

In other news - I received a hilarious e-mail the other day about someone wanting us to model some shit for 'collision detection' where 99% of the equipment was actually already modeled by the Engineer that we received the design from.  It wasn't in the original contract, and if they force the matter, I'm going to open their model and dump a huge pile of useless (and massive) families into it, link several dozen useless files to it, and then try to send it back to them in a newer version of Revit than they are using.

Any complaints will be met with serious beatings.

As always, fuck autodesk, fuck Revit, fuck Revitbots/Revitards/Revit 'Gurus', and anyone else selling, marketing, purchasing, using, forcing others to use (or doing end runs around various engineering disciplines in order to require the use of) Revit.

It's 2019 fucksticks - time to get with the goddamn program.


Next Time: The Continued March Of The Dumbfucks.

Friday, December 14, 2018

Linky Dinky

Que Bueno Verte!

Welp, it happened.  The other firm sharing the building with us that received a 3-day crash course in Revit before sticking their dick in their first Revit pencil sharpener project have hit their first problem that made them come to me (oh sweet irony).

It was ostensibly a simple problem with the files that they received (which, of course, were done in a previous version, requiring them to download and install the previous version).  Whoever had set the drawings up had several linked files that were not coming up due to the links looking for folders on the senders server.

It seemed like a simple enough fix - just update the link locations (same as an XREF - which, in CAD, have the option to set links as 'relative' so that you can send someone files, and as long as the file structure within the folder they dump it into is preserved, the links will work perfectly, not sure if Revit even has this capability).

So we tried it, and after crunching for 15-20 seconds, voila!  'Error - blah blah blah, overlay, blah blah blah' (pretty standard Revit shit).  I left him attempting to open the different files and see if he could figure out how to get the links to work (not unlike how a 'Revit Guru' would throw his hands up and tell a Revit dick socket to 'search online' or  'just fuck with it' to see if they could get it to work).

I went back to my desk and did a few quick searches on 'received Revit file links overlays, etc.' and read a few hilarious attempts at people describing the problems they are having, and the even more hilarious attempts at other people (including some at Autodesk) at interpreting the problem, and offering 'solutions' (most of which didn't actually apply).

It was amusing for a few minutes, but got boring quickly, so I decided to jump into a small voice/data and CCTV project that I had received CAD files for.  I had the project set up and completed in the time it took Revit-boy to download the Revit models that he will most likely spend the next week staring at and rotating as his brain slowly starts to decay.

In non-Revit news - motherfucking Adobe Acrobat DC.  Ah - cloud based entertainment.  I was at my wife's office for lunch the other day, and she was attempting to open a .pdf, but at some point in time an update had taken place on her office machine that was preventing her from doing so.  The best I could tell was that Chrome had updated an extension (or whatever) because .pdfs on her fucking desktop had all changed to a Chrome-ish icon.

Clicking on them would pop up asking for a username/password, and would not allow her to go any further.  She attempted to download a non DC version of Acrobat, but apparently Adobe no longer allows this.  I pulled up a chair and tracked down an older version of Acrobat and 'BAM!!!' she could now open .pdfs (which I reiterate - are on her fucking desktop) again.

I'm sure I'm missing some key piece of the puzzle as to why they fuck a program that ostensibly only exists to open .pdfs is no longer capable of opening .pdfs without logging into 'the cloud', but in reality, there is never any fucking reason to log into any kind of cloud based (i.e. internet based) anything in order to access or open shit that is RIGHT THE FUCK THERE ON MY MACHINE.

I don't want an Adobe account, I already have multiple ways to save documents that I can access from anywhere, and just... go fuck yourself already.

Fuck Adobe, fuck Autodesk, and if these people don't get their shit straight, I'm going to stick the entire 'cloud' directly up their ass.

Hasta Luego!


Next Time: A Whole New Year Of Derpiness.

Friday, November 30, 2018

The Second Annual Derpy Awards

Happy last day of November!

I woke this morning to a comment on a random post that was written in what I guess was supposed to be in Thai, advertising the 'Gangnam Liposuction Clinic'.  After I stopped laughing, I went to hunt it down so I could delete it, but I decided 'fuck it' and left it there, because it is actually pretty funny.

Then I got to work and started looking at a new project that is a renovation of a building that we did previously, but of course the Revit crew just HAD to model it, so now I'm cleaning up yet another garbage set of plans.  It actually started off surprisingly well, but as with most things vomited forth from Autodesk's 'flagship' BIM software, it didn't take long to start noticing some minor (and major) fuckups.

The first thing I started noticing was that some (but not all) of the columns had furred out walls around them that DIDN'T LINE UP WITH THE COLUMN LOCATIONS, resulting in a bunch of stupid looking columns punching through walls.  The funny part is that I'm looking at the old building plans (that were either done in CAD, or if they were done in Revit, they were done by someone with a little more eye for details like that.

I'm just going to leave that shit looking stupid, since it has little to no effect on me (other than my psyche).  It's also amusing that if you overlay this plan over the old one, almost none of the core of the building (which isn't changing) actually lines up.  I would tend to trust the older plans more - since, oh, I don't know, they don't look like unadulterated ASS.

Then it was time for another fun game of 'find the overly detailed family' - which turned out to be this cart:

 That's 48,629 lines to represent a fucking roll-around cart (nearly 14,000 lines per wheel):

 And of course there were two of them (and of course, both were extending into walls), but seriously - who in the fuck ever needs to see that much detail of a goddamned wheel unless you are actually making the wheel?

Once again, I'll take the time to make these plans not suck dick, and laugh, knowing that somewhere, someone issued this garbage as their work product (after spending god only knows how many days or weeks beating it out of Revit.

Anyhow, I'm putting that thing on hold for a while to clean up a .pdf converted into .dwg (since I wasn't able to get some dipshits to come up off of updated drawings for a storage facility that I issued months ago (with the full knowledge that the architect was still fucking with it).  Fortunately all they changed was some of the corridors on the first floor (only one device actually changed on my system).

Unfortunately, the plans are clusterfuck, and took a lot of time to clean up - even when starting with a .dwg exported from Revit.  The converted .pdf is like crap multiplied by crap - but if I keep my head down for a little bit, I'll have it fixed, reissue the drawings, and hopefully put that one behind me.

And as always, it's nice knowing that I don't have to worry about my software fucking me.

So it's a big fuck you to Revit, another big fuck you to anyone using Revit, and a massive FUCK YOU to Autodesk for foisting Revit on the industry and the world.

Go fuck yourself Autodesk!



Next Time: Linky Dink

Thursday, November 15, 2018

All In Together Now!


So I randomly typed in 'Revit Licks Balls' into Google - and ran across the personal blog of someone who had posted here a few times:

He hasn't updated it in a while so my hope is that he managed to find gainful employment outside of the Revitsphere and just left the whole goddamned thing behind him.  Its got some great insight into how fucking retarded Revit, Autodesk, and pretty much everyone involved are a bunch of inbred dipshits that don't understand the industry that they ostensibly 'serve'.

Then I ran across this little gem:

It's only a short couple of quick posts done by someone back in 2011 that pretty much encapsulates the entire Revit experience - slower than fuck, frustrating as hell, and assumes that you already know what the final building is going to look like before you start modeling it (because god only knows what will happen when you start moving stuff around).

They had this cute little cartoon that sums it all up (and has the distinct advantage that the 'Revitworld' frathouse looks almost exactly like my old firm):

Finally I came across this article from 2014 from a guy who managed to complete rid himself of all Autodesk products, and does a fantastic job of explaining exactly what the fuck happened in his industry.  It's more focused on 'Softimage' (which Autodesk acquired), 3DS Max/ Maya/etc. but almost every single thing he says about it could probably be applied to Revit:

But enough of that, now it's time to make fun of the idiots who just sent me a small hotel - including this fucking showerhead:


Oh - and when you put 48 of them into my drawing - that's 207,360 lines (except that many locations inexplicably had two of them - one over the other), so it probably ended up being in excess of 300K lines.

I deleted every single goddamned one, then went about my normal process of cleaning up the garbage infested bullshit that they seemed to think would pass for 'floor plans'.  Tubs that extended into walls, missing countertops, notes/detailing that wipe out parts of walls/fixtures - pretty much the standard nonsense.

Once I get that squared away, I get to figure out what in the fuck the incompetents that laid it out intended (as opposed to what they showed), and it will surprise the fuck out of me if we issue it and they don't come back later having completely changed their design intent (after someone who knew what the fuck they were doing actually looked at it).


Now it's time to say 'Fuck Autodesk' and especially 'Fuck Revit'.

Fuck 'em all.


Next Time: ?!?!?!!?

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Blankety Blank Blank Blank...

Just when I thought Revit was the lowest Autodesk could go - I hear about a 'program' (using that term in the loosest possible context) that has apparently been rattling around in Autodesk's 'portfolio of suites' for the last four years or so called 'ReCap' (apparently short for 'Reality Capture').

It's not surprising that Autodesk could take something with as much potential as 3D Scanning and Photogrammetry and turn it into a cloud-based clusterfuck (that charges 'credits').  A little online searching found more questions about what people were using to replace it with than anything else.

Apparently there was another program called 'ReMake' that was actually functional, and they couldn't have that, so they decided to pop a ReCap in that ass (sorry, I couldn't resist) - and, of course now that everything is 'subscription based', once it's gone - it's fucking gone.

While reading the comments on the Autodesk ReCap forum (which has a terrible format, is slow as fuck, and is just... so fucking packed full of Autodesk staff making false promises and informing users of functionality that is being removed), I got an eerie feeling that I've been here before.

Oh yeah - they are almost identical to Revit forums.

The only difference is that people seem to be a little more united in their derision.  Oh - there are 'true believers' here too, but they seem to be more of the 'please sir, could I have some more' variety than a cult of cock-gobblers with chips on their shoulders.

Interestingly, the last new thread was from an Autodesk employee on 9/20 informing users that 'project cleanup and object mesh' feature has been removed, and the previous dozen or so were also from Autodesk employees (some responding to their own posts).

Scrolling further down you start to see people posting their issues, only to have their questions/concerns replied to with more questions or the classic 'known bug , working on that, maybe in the next relase' type of nonsense that Revit users are so used to.

Considering the apparent breakdown of this forum, it wouldn't surprise me if 'ReCap' itself wasn't being 'ReCycled' into another program so that Autodesk can stop supporting it and sell people another license.

What's especially amusing to me about the whole thing is that the people working in the industry that is driving this type of technology are sinking ungodly amounts of money into equipment, software, and time (just so much time ya'll), in order to reproduce things that already exist in reality.

I can see the point to it, but only just barely - because when it takes more time, money, and mental effort to create the final project than if you just used 3D design software to reproduce it, then what the fuck do you think you have actually gained?  Oh - and if you don't maintain a license, you can't even access your own shit!

I'm a bit cynical - because over the years I've seen so many attempts at automating processes, only to get worse results, or require someone who knows what the fuck they are doing to go out and undo the mess.  It's also frightening, because people who know what the fuck they are doing are getting in dangerously short supply, and people aren't bothering to learn anything from them.

At the risk of sounding like 'the old guy' for just a minute - I'm going to blame it on staring at their goddamned phones and tablets all the time while trying to get out of doing actual work.  It's ironic, because all of these devices we carry around are intended to improve our ability to communicate, but in practice, they are making people more isolated and putting them in echo chambers.

I've seen more get accomplished in a 15 minute meeting with paper and pen than in three weeks of jerking off to the latest and greatest technology.  I'm no fucking luddite, but you can't tell me I'm wrong.  Walk into damn near any engineering office anywhere and peek into conference rooms/offices/cubicles, and you'll see the same fucking thing.

I've seen technology put to good use - but I've also seen it thrown up as a smoke screen of buzzwords and bullshit.

And all I can say is FUCK THAT SHIT.


Next Time: All In Together Now