Thursday, September 6, 2018



So I'm assembling the second 250K s.f. data center project (located directly next to the first one), and the first part was as simple as slapping the new floor plan in, bumping a few things around, and doing a 'find and replace' with the building designations.

The second part was basically the same, but since this building is tying into the head-end of the first building there will be a few pieces of equipment that appeared in the first set that will no longer be necessary in the second set.

In theory it's just a few 'minor' changes to the floor plan where that equipment is shown on building 1 - but of course, the main panel location is changing, which will require delicate care, and a bit of recalculation.

While comparing the old and new plans I noticed that below the area that is being modified there are several rooms with ceiling mounted devices missing on the new set.  My best guess is that some Architectural genius adjusted the height of the ceiling in that room causing the devices to disappear from the view.

It's the same dipshits that deleted 9K s.f. of the plan from their drawings rather than adjust a match-line to the right place though, so it's entirely possible they accidentally deleted them when they were updating their plans to the new floor plan (hell, it's entirely possible that they had to recreate the entire set of plans in the second building model - and simply left those devices off).

Hell, any number of things are 'possible' and 'probable' when it comes to working with idiots - not to mention the exponential levels of incompetence that a program like Revit allows to creep into a project.  I'm going to be keeping my eyes open for any other fuckups - if for no other reason than to make fun of their stupidity.

I mean fuck, I make mistakes all the time - I get going too fast, overlook something, get pulled off a project and forget where I left off, move something instead of copying it, click 'undo' one too many times without realizing it, etc., but 1) I only fuck up my own drawings, and 2) I generally catch those fuckups later (and they are rarely major items - many of them could easily be inferred by the people using my drawings to install from - aside from the fact that they are almost purely diagrammatical - and the installers often deviate from them anyway).

What I don't do is keep making the same stupid mistakes over and over - or force anyone else into lockstep with me.  I'm constantly reviewing and revising as I go, organizing, and cleaning to make sure things are legible, logical, and ACCURATE. 

As in 'it's accurate to say that Revit, Autodesk, Revitards, and anyone else involved are a bunch of fuckwits who can go fuck themselves'.


Next Time: ?

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

And Another One Gone


I decided to do a quick post commemorating one of the 'Revit Gurus' from my old firm apparently losing his job (I'm going to try to get some context - all I know is that his wife posted that he got the boot).

On the upside, with his extensive Revit experience, he can probably land a lucrative position just about anywhere - although the fact that he was a self-important dickhead (which may or may not have factored into him being sacked) might make it harder to secure a new job.

With any luck he ends up at a firm that is on their last nerve struggling under the weight of the Revit dick, and he tries to pull the same bullshit he did at my prior firm - only to find someone who makes me look sane by comparison, and who doesn't appreciate some prick showing up and fucking up the status quo.

I'll touch base when I know more - but in the meantime, fuck Revit, fuck Autodesk, and fuck Revit 'Gurus' and their kool-aid guzzling fuckery.


Next Time: Bitch-Azz

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

A Matchline Made In Hell


So the massive server farm project came back approved with zero comments on my side, and approved with some minuscule changes on the other guy's side (so minuscule that I went ahead and made them).  Amazeballs...

We are set to roll with the second (virtually identical) project (basically $50K to cut and paste - and since it ties into the first building we will actually remove some equipment).

Then, this morning, some questions came up over whether or not some of the piping was necessary due to a drop ceiling in an area that is being covered by adjacent pipes (not sure who initiated the questions, but I've had to waste time this morning getting everyone on the same page (literally - showing them discrepancies between the Architectural, Electrical, and Fire Alarm drawings).

That's when I noticed the funniest fucking shit.  The 'engineer' (using that term in the loosest possible context) had already issued some really sad looking drawings the first go around that had a number of fuckups that I catalogued in my post 'Nobody Gives A Fuck About Anything Anymore'

One of the most glaring (yet - ironically, least consequential) ones was that their matchline was in the wrong damn place.  We had sent a marked up set showing their fuckups before a meeting, at which point the engineer looked at them and said 'yeah, this looks like the stuff I told them to fix for the next building'.

Apparently somebody told them 'yeah - about that', and soon after - they released a revised set.  I briefly glanced at it, and saw that, yes, they had fixed the majority of the fuckups that we had pointed out.  I didn't bother to go too deep though, because I already knew my design was superior, and I was done looking at their crap - until today.

Whoever their BIMtard was took a look at the misplaced matchline (that was halfway down the second page, rather than at the top of the page) and decided 'oh - the matchline is in the right place, so I'm just showing duplicate info on the first and second pages' and deleted everything above the matchline on the second page (clouded it and everything).

Now, if you print out the first and second pages, fold them over to the matchlines, and butt them up against each other to see the whole building - voila!  A whole section of the building is FUCKING MISSING.  Rather than just moving the matchline to the right place, they FUCKED IT UP WORSE THAN IT ALREADY WAS!!!

 I really wish I had noticed it back when they first issued it, but I was getting pretty exasperated with them at that point, and I would've probably jumped in my car to take a road trip to punch someone in the face if I had seen it then.  Now I can just laugh (and hope to god that whatever the fuck is going on right now doesn't waste any more of my time.

As far as we could tell, there is unnecessary pipe in one area (ironically there isn't enough in another - but nobody seems to give a fuck about that - yet).  This led to additional equipment due to the lengths of the pipe - which I'm sure someone, somewhere gives a fuck about, but I haven't heard one way or the other.

The result, if this pipe is indeed excess to needs, is that we would no longer need the extra equipment (even if the area that is deficient gets corrected), but if we leave it, and someone finally gets around to giving a fuck, it's going to look completely retarded to have all that extra equipment (four devices that can handle four pipes each only handling one pipe each).

To add an additional layer of irony, the company that manufactures the equipment did a layout way back in 2017 that did not show the excess pipe, but DID show pipe in the deficient area - and for some reason we're chasing the tail of a firm that is currently missing a nearly 9,000 s.f. section from their drawings.

Oh - and I'm supposed to be working on a seven story hotel refit that one of the people involved in the aforementioned project laid out based on existing conditions as a one-for-one replacement, but then the salesman came back and said it needs to meet code (which it currently does not - kind of the opposite of the dumbfuckery on the school refit I recently did).

The guy who did the layout actually drew the entire hotel floor plan in a program called 'Visio' that he seems to love - but that has some pretty serious limitations.  It took a while to clean up in CAD, and while rough, as far as 2D layouts are concerned it was easily on par with the garbage being turned out by Revitards (better even).

Anyway... fuck stupid people, fuck incompetent people, fuck Revit, fuck Autodesk, and fuck anyone else who gets in my way.


Next Time: Another One Bites The Dick

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Screwed Holes

Mornin' Guv'nor!

It's 3 posts in one day!!! (Half of the first one was already written - but hey).

I'm still waiting for a response from the RFI I sent out yesterday (I don't even think they sent it along until today), but there was another aspect to this system layout that I forgot to mention - and that is how it is actually going to be installed.

It mostly consists of pipe routed below the roof deck, but there places where it runs perpendicular to the beams, so it either has to run across the bottom of the beams (which requires compensation), or it has to go across the roof deck and have four elbows at each beam to go down and back up.

As it turns out, it's going to be a combination of these two - but fortunately in the large server room (and I do mean large - over 71,000 s.f.) [Edit: There is another 71,000+ square feet  of server space on the second floor - the building itself is over 280,000 s.f.]  the pipes will run parallel to the large beams (and despite the .pdf of the 3D Revit Structural model that I received showing solid beams and roof joists - the joists are supposedly open - so our pipe can pass through them).

There will still be some places where the pipes have to route across the bottom of the beams to get to the places where they turn and run parallel (where I can simply turn it up and get up to the roof deck - but comically, the client doesn't want anything attached to the roof deck, so the installer is going to get to have a field day figuring out how to support the pipe (every 5' - despite it being filled with nothing but air).

Fortunately that's not my problem - but someone pointed out that some other equipment we need to put up at the roof was going to require a solution.  Fortunately the electrician is going to be installing 4" square boxes at each location a device will be installed, so we decided to sketch up a modified cover plate that would allow the device to bolted to the cover with another hole for a wiring gland.

Another guy actually sketched the detail, but a brief glance at the data sheet set my OCD on edge.  I'm not so bad as to need to flip lights on/off a certain number of times to leave a room - but I have spent a lot of time honing my pattern matching and spatial dimension skills, so I often spot stuff that other people completely miss.

The sheet showed three 9/32" holes - the first two were 2" apart on the left side with a third on the right 1-3/4" from the midpoint of the first two - but the diagram was fucking WRONG.  The dimensions were very close - but whoever drew the diagram had made the hole on the left 2" away as well, resulting in a skewed picture.  Ironically, directly to the right of this diagram was a note indicating 3 holes 120 degrees apart on a 2.312 bolt circle.

Purely for my own amusement, I decided to sketch the holes in CAD.  First with the 2" and 1-3/4" dimensions - then with a 2.312 circle and a polar array of circles 120 degrees apart (it was about this time that the guy who drew the detail told me I was getting obsessed with it).  At first glance they looked identical, but when I overlayed them, there was a discrepancy of 1/32".

It's not enough to worry about (in fact, the default dimension resolution in CAD doesn't even register the difference - even though you can clearly see two holes sitting next to each other) and despite the actual dimension being 1.71875" rather than 1.75", it will probably bolt right up.  Comically, we received a CAD file showing side/top/front and a '3d' view - none of which showed the actual mounting holes (you could only make out two on the '3d' view).

I'm not a mathematician, but I do hold a fascination with the ability of mathematics to define things down to a ridiculous level of accuracy.  In this particular case, I know 1/32" doesn't matter - but there are situations where it absolutely fucking does.  I've seen machine tools capable of accuracy up to 1/1000" (and now with the ability to work at the nano level - even more accurate than that).

It's not necessary for every day use - but as long as we are here, let's at least get it as close as possible.

Obsessively Yours,

-.000000000001 SkullFucks

Next Time: Can You Get Any Stupider?

P.S. - Because my brain literally never stops thinking about this stuff, I had a slight epiphany this morning while putting my shoes on that while lining up either the two holes or the one hole does result in a 1/32" discrepancy on the other side, splitting the difference might only result in 1/64" offset at each hole.  I tested this theory by redrawing it, only to find that in reality, none of the holes actually line up - but the discrepancy is so small as to be negligible.  My point still stands though - I'm fundamentally insane.

Nobody Gives a Fuck About Anything Anymore


It has come to me immediate attention that there is an almost complete and utter lack of fucks being given these days.

Within the course of the last week, I ran across more fuckups by more idiots than should be statistically possible, leading me to believe that eating lead-based paint chips has become the new 'Tide Pod Challenge'.

The first (that I may have mentioned in a previous post) came up a while back,when a (government) client came asking for dimensions for a panel cabinet that we were providing.  My first inclination was to tell them 'look at the data sheet we supplied in the submittal moron', but I decided to take a look at it myself first - and sure enough, while there are copious dimensions on the detail for the panel, they were sorely lacking in completion (and as I would find later on - accuracy).

Now, most people wouldn't notice, care, or whatever - they would just get the cabinet, and install it.  In this particular case, this cabinet was being installed to replace an older cabinet, and all of the conduit in the building is threaded, so they wanted to make absolutely sure about how the new panel would fit - but unfortunately the data sheet only showed dimensions for the top two slotted mounting holes, and the relative dimensions for the knock-outs for connecting conduits.

I was supplied with a CAD file - and I was like 'oh cool - I can just dimension this thing and 'voila', but I immediately started to notice that it had almost zero to do with anything in reality.  It had obviously been drawn as a basic schematic, and very few (like one) of the dimensions were correct.  I contacted the manufacturer's regional rep - and he seemed to be at a loss to provide me with anything more than what the data sheet showed, but by coincidence we received a panel for another project that was identical to the one that we were specifying for this project.

I took the dimensions off of it, made a detail, and sent it on - and I thought that would be the last of it, but then the client came back asking why there was a discrepancy between the data sheet and my detail.  The data sheet showed a 25" width - but the actual dimensions of the cabinet were 24" (inside) and 26-1/2" to the flanges on the front.  I pulled the cabinet back out and had a guy hold the tape measure on it so I could take pictures and forwarded these on.

When I started to put the cabinet away - a sheet of paper fell out of the box, and what the fuck do you know?  There was a complete set of dimensions - for not just this cabinet, but for all of the cabinets in that product line - and what's more, they even appeared to be correct!   I scanned this sheet in and sent it along, filed it on our server, and then sent it back to the manufacturer to ask them why the hell they didn't simply provide me with this sheet when I came asking about it (oh - and to tell them to fix their goddamned data sheet and CAD files).

With that debacle (maybe) out of my way, I started work on a massive data center (one of several we are getting ready to do).  The first step was to take an engineer's attempt at laying out an elaborate building-wide system, and run (or more accurately - rerun) calculations to make sure that it will work as shown.   It was going swimmingly until I got to the large server room, and I started to notice that whoever did the layout (almost certainly in Revit) hadn't really been paying close attention - and the engineer that signed off on it hadn't looked at it that closely either.

The first thing I noticed was that their match lines didn't match up (thus negating the point in 'match lines').  This was a minor quibble though, as I started to notice inconsistencies, missing information, duplicate (and overlapping) information, and several areas where equipment wasn't even close to being documented correctly - resulting in the counts that were used to price the project being off.  They weren't massive errors, but they were sufficient that if I were to allow my drawings (and calculations) to go out 'as is', problems would absolutely arise when it came time to install and commission the system.

On top of this, calculating it 'as is' would result in running 5-6 times as many sets of calculations than it would if the inconsistencies and errors were corrected - so we marked up a set and sent it off as an RFI to the engineer (and that's where it sits for now - although the deadline probably isn't going to get pushed back much - if at all, so I get to decide whether or not to go forward 'as is', or make the corrections that I assume the engineer will agree need to be made.

Neither option is particularly appealing until we actually hear back, but the guy sending the RFI on is aware that it is holding us up, and promised to fast-track it.  We'll see if that actually happens - but in the meantime I still have plenty of other things to fix (like the fact that there is no consistency to the distances they put between devices (going down a row the dimensions will vary from 14'-2" to 14'-6" to 13'-8" - for no discernible reason).

 Someone was either cutting and pasting, or just haphazardly slapping stuff into the drawing (or model), and I don't know (or care) if they are Revit families, or just 2D linework in Revit.  Either way, they are fucking wrong, and it's wasting my time and mental effort.

Fuck these people - and fuck Revit.


-Next Time: OCD Screw Holes

P.S. - Every single sheet in this engineers set ended up with a long sheet # (to designate which data center it was for) which resulted in the sheet # wrapping onto a second line.  Instead of shrinking the text size down - the top line completely overlaps the words 'Sheet Number', and the second line is butted directly up next to the discipline name.  It's legible, but looks like unadulterated ass - possibly fixable, maybe not - but fucks to give obviously came in short supply after this firm decided to Revitize.

Monday, July 9, 2018

The BIM Molesto.


So I'm having my morning constitutional on Saturday, and I'm thinking about the poor stupid dipshits who keep sticking their pencil dicks into the Revit pencil sharpener, and I run across a Revitard's blog called 'The BIM Manifesto'.

The best I can tell is that this guy is (or at least was) doing Mechanical design with Revit - and while he likes to throw in lots of caveats, it's obvious that he's got the Revit dick squarely lined up and jammed about 3/4 of the way into his eye-socket.  His last post was from July of 2016 entitled 'You Are Not a Victim', so I can only assume that he was beaten to death by someone who got tired of his naive way of discussing the finer points of a piece of software that can and will destroy anything resembling productivity and process in a firm.

The specific article I ran across first was this fairly comical read about avoiding the 'number one money-burning mistake most firms make with Revit' (as opposed to the number two through infinity money burning mistakes that anyone using Revit is making).  Now - I'm proud to be the exact strawman that he casts most of his aspersions on - and I used to hear almost every single talking point that he goes through verbatim from people who could barely issue a project correctly or on time (if at all) once the people I was working with became infatuated with Revit.

He runs down the litany of problems that a firm is going to have if it buys into BIM bullshit, while steadfastly insisting that there is a *correct* way to buy into BIM bullshit.  All they have to do is predict those problems, select the proper solutions, and voila!  It's basically the equivalent of 'step 2 - then a miracle happens'.

One of the main differences that I could see in my experience vs. his, is that he talks a lot about the disconnect between project managers and 'Revit nerds'.  If only those silly PM's would understand that things are different now because of reasons, then they would understand that things are different now because of reasons.  The only PM's I had to deal with were the Architectural PM's, most of whom were actually fairly well versed in Revit (as opposed to the actual Architects who were too busy Architecting to be worried about what software was being used to generate their work product.

There was my boss, the Electrical Engineer - but he trusted me to handle my own projects and only bring them to him when there were questions that needed his input, meaning I was basically my own project manager, as well as doing design, and drafting (and damn good at it I might add).  People generally preferred to talk to me rather than the Engineer (since he lived to make fun of stupid people - especially Architect lackeys), and because I was handling all aspects of the job, it made sense not to waste his time unless it was absolutely necessary.

He personally didn't give a fuck what software I used to do projects, as long as they were done on time and correctly (which they always were) so that he didn't have to hear about it from clients, or anyone else in the office.  Unfortunately after Revit became the 'phallus du jour' for the firm, he started hearing about how we needed to be 'all Revit all the time' from people who had gone from being able to consistently crank out projects to people who spent half the day gazing at their navels and rotating their 3D models around on the screen to look busy.

Mr. 'BIM Manifesto' has a fantastic way of waving his hand at what he seems to be fully aware is a literal mountain of potential for projects declining into irredeemable clusterfucks - and like I said earlier, his solution is simply 'try to avoid them'.  To his credit, that is exactly what my firm tried to do - and as time went on, they attempted to improve the template they were using to start projects, determine processes for how a project needed to be started, and streamline that process so that people weren't getting involved with a project until the Architectural model had reached a significant level of completion.

Of course, by that time, the schedule has moved from 'need it now' to 'need it yesterday', and quickly morphs into 'needed it two weeks ago' - and that's when the litany of problems that he admits can crop up would start.  Even if every single person involved is well-versed in Revit, and is 100% behind making it work (i.e. - clapping their hands loud enough, despite having several fingers removed from one of their hands), all it takes is one assumption (the mother of all fuck-ups) by one incompetent person who inexplicably has the same amount of control over the model as everyone else - and down the toilet you go.

It doesn't help that everyone involved is operating from a cult mindset - one that constantly reinforces it's core beliefs that Revit  = God.   One of my favorite quotes from one of his posts is this:

"BIM Evangelists tend to be really smart people who struggle to understand people who aren't as sharp as they are with software. This lack of empathy means they are likely to lead the group into deep waters before the rest of the pack is ready."

The fact that he uses the word 'evangelist' is telling - but it's especially hilarious given that while 'smart' people indeed struggle dealing with people who are not as smart (like every IT guy who has ever had to remove fifty 'programs' that a user has installed because they click 'OK' on every message that ever comes up on their computer without reading it first can attest), it's rare you find an actual 'smart' person who is willing to buy into the kind of groupthink that Revit engenders.

There were plenty of smart people using Revit at my last firm (primarily in the structural department), but they were far outstripped by those who couldn't find their own ass with both hands, a mirror, and a flashlight.

And those people, my skullfucked friends, were absolutely in way over their heads in extremely deep waters.

But hey - fuck 'em, fuck Revit, fuck Autodesk, and if you don't like it - take a number, then go fuck yourself.


Next Time: Is There No Standard Anymore? Part Deux

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring - Revit Phone.....

So buried inside of a medical facility plan that we received from some Revitards was this beauty - 13,926 line segments (13,214 of which are in the fucking cord). I deleted over 20 of them, for a total of nearly 300,000 lines (in addition to hundreds and hundreds of thousands of lines showing the pattern on the bottom of the showers, buttfuckloads of hatching showing wall types (that I don't care about) and all kinds of other pieces of highly-detailed medical equipment and other overkill.

Every wall in the building had a multitude of extra line segments wherever it would join another wall - it was apparently breaking every line wherever it would cross a perpendicular line (even though the perpendicular line didn't actually extend to the line that was broken.  I cleaned up the majority of the wall joints, and eliminated god only knows how much more geometry.  It seems like as Revit has fully engulfed the industries that it set out to destroy, the concern for it's ability to export out usable files has gone completely by the wayside.

This drawing went from barely being able to open, lagging every time you switched sheets, taking forever to save (and autosave) to being a fully functional (and rather beautiful I might add) drawing that we were able to use to generate access control drawings.  Part of the problem was that someone else started setting up the drawings, and I didn't realize that the Revitards had sent us their individual sheets rather than an actual floor plan (which, in addition to having to be pieced together, quickly showed that they hadn't actually documented the entire building - just the parts that they were upgrading or adding stuff to).

One of my coworkers and I spent several days on this project - which was exacerbated by the fact that the guy who had sold it was withholding important information (like a door schedule that listed all of the equipment they wanted at each door - but which was somewhat incomplete and difficult to decipher).  I drew details for each instance, so the installer should be able to tell what exactly needs to be done - with some catch-all notes to make sure that the incompetent morons who modeled it and the incompetent morons who slapped together the door schedule (possibly the same incompetent morons) didn't fuck us over.

Then it was back to doing the absolute bare minimum to rig up a set of drawings for a massive school that had come to me in bits and pieces of ancient scans, early attempts at CAD, and then years of revisions (all, of course, done as partial plans that had to be pasted and shoehorned in), AND the new addition that was the reason that the school is going to have to take their decades old, grandfathered in clusterfuck of a fire alarm system and actually upgrade it to meet code.

Of course, rather than just do this correctly, the first set we are submitting is going to be a one-for-one replacement of existing equipment (just to get it all into one system) which will fail miserably when reviewed (unless somebodies brother's cousin's uncle's in-laws work at the Fire Marshall's office - which is always a possibility).  Sadly, this is the plan - because then we can determine what is necessary to bring it up to code, quote a price to fix it, completely redo it (again) and then go through the process of trying to convince the AHJ who we just sent garbage drawings to that this set is worth looking at.

I was able to cobble together a set based on one of our installers field notes on my layout - which I had sent to them in March, but only heard back about in the middle of June when the salesman contacted the owner of the company (that we both work for) to complain that I had designed a code compliant system.  This attempt at throwing me under the bus gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside, so I got on the phone with the salesman, his boss (who is basically a co-owner of the company - although they operate out of a different office - we have six total), and they tried to pretend like they had taken my drawings into the field and marked them up (they hadn't).

I started receiving bits and pieces of information (most of which was not useful, and some of which was downright annoying - like the part where they marked up the original drawings of part of the building rather than the set I had sent them), at which point I fired off an e-mail to the salesman
explaining exactly what I was going to need to provide them with an updated (yet far from complete) set - and blind CC'd both the owner and the co-owner.

I almost immediately received a response from the co-owner that put a huge smile on my face.  It simply read 'GET HIM'.  It was vindication that I had been doing my job based on the information I was being given, and that their attempts at blaming me for their own fuckups - like the three month window between when I sent them a checkset to mark up and when they contacted the owner to bitch about me (and lie about having done so).

The worst part is that this project isn't even remotely done with - I have already had to bill waaaay too many hours to it, and when it falls back in my lap it's going to take waaaay too many more, because I can guarantee I'm not going to get any help from these stupid fuckups.  Fortunately this isn't my first rodeo - and I can put the beatdown on any project (even when I'm at a disadvantage).

I've shown time and time again that I've got the tools, and I've got the talent - so fuck anyone who gets in my way.


Next Time: I review 'The BIM Manifesto' and excoriate the dumbfuck who wrote it.