Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Spam Spam Spam Spam, Spam Spam Spam Spam

Lovely Spam, Beautiful Spam!!!!

So my phone is blowing up this morning because some jack-ass calling himself 'lost_in_woods'
decided to start spamming my blog by posting comments on dozens of my most recent posts - ostensibly with the aim of directing traffic towards a website offering 'BIM Global Solutions' with the intent of garnering business from people who might click on this link.

This is hilarious to me on many levels, as they obviously did not bother to read anything on this blog (or even the name of it), or they might have ascertained its general attitude towards BIM in general, and Revit specifically.

Now I get to spend time this morning cleaning out all of that spam, and figuring out how to report this ignorant fuckstick (since there doesn't seem to be an obvious way to do it).  In the meantime, feel free to send Mr. 'lost_in_woods' and/or www.bimgs.com all the love and support they deserve for spreading the BIM disease throughout the world.

Fuck this guy, fuck this firm, and fuck everyone perpetuating the Revit lie.

MISTER Skullfuck to you.

Next Time: The 200th Post.

P. S. - Just this morning I had another (or the same?) idiot post some more spam on a handful of my entries to advertise their Revit services. I guess they'll never learn!

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Derps 'n Doors

Greetings and Welcome to the latest edition of the Revderps Awards (The Derpies!!)

This lovely piece of work comes to us via a Revitard so high on crack that even other Revitards were like 'Whoa there buddy - you might wanna cut down to only 5-6 rocks an hour.'

Hopefully they get a phone call asking for a detail showing how you mount one half of a door frame to the inside of a refrigerator.

This was the first drawing I opened for a project with several buildings, so I'm sure I'll find more idiotic mistakes, and will include them as they pop up - but this is hands down the stupidest crap I've seen in a while.

Meanwhile, I was watching a guy from the firm that shares the building that my office is in build a computer to 'handle' Revit.  It is one motherfucker of a machine, and would handle just about any other task thrown at it (like software that was actually written by real programmers instead of handing some five year olds some code) with ease.

I'll be amused when he finds out that Revit can't take advantage of most of the advanced features that his build includes - leaving him with the same glitched out lagfest that he would experience on a machine with half of the specs of his mini-supercomputer.

Fuck Revit, Fuck Revit Machines, and Fuck Reviteers with dicks in their ears.

-Skull To The Mother Fuck.

Next Time: Spamming Motherfuckers.

Next Time: ?!?!?!

Friday, May 24, 2019

So High I Have To Look Down To See The Cloud


I know it's probably a little silly to complain about web-based applications while using a web-based application that stores my information... someplace...  but for the last three days we've been unable to use the software that some genius determined was the best choice for managing all of our project/time tracking, billing, etc. thanks to an 'update' that has left the system completely non-functional.

We started receiving messages that the system would be down for 'maintenance' a while back, and sure enough, when the day came, it was down.  Then it was down the next day, and another.  Now, if this were a piece of software running on our server, maintained by our IT people, we would simply have drug them out from in front of their Linux boxes and told them to do their fucking jobs - or be beaten with blunt objects.

As it stands, someone, somewhere, with no vested interest in helping us (or preventing blunt force trauma to their faces) is dicking around, with god knows what, for god knows how long.  Attempts at contacting them resulted in the standard runaround - starting with 'we're getting it back up ASAP', to 'here - try this non-functional link that we tried to make as a workaround'.

They FINALLY get around to fixing whatever was keeping us from being able to log on, but they've apparently discontinued support for Microsoft Explorer (which I have no love for, but I liked have a dedicated browser shortcut that took me straight to the login.  No problem though - I just switched to using Edge (which I had avoided like the plague).

I even used an online icon maker to upload an image of the software companies logo and used it for the shortcut, so it's easy to find - but oh my god is it slower than shit now (same on Firefox and Chrome).  They made the interface a little prettier, which is probably part of the reason it's so fucking slow - but I was able to get everything done that I needed to.

Now I get to waste my time doing a more detailed version of a detail that I already have done (on a project that I could issue today as soon as I complete some calculations - but that will probably take at least another day).  Basically, we are showing a block diagram of all of the devices in the system on the circuits they are on (more or less just a duplicate of my floor plans - sans floor plans, and in a more orderly fashion).

What this client wants (and has gotten in the past) is a point-to-point wiring diagram showing every single goddamned wire connection to every single goddamned device in the building so that even an idiot could understand it.  Normally I'm all for idiot-proofing things, but in this particular case, if someone doesn't already know how to wire these devices, they have no business being anywhere the fuck near these kinds of systems.

I've probably mentioned it before - but in the past, when I was designing electrical distribution systems (and avoiding Revit like the plague) there was a certain amount of deference to what we called 'means and methods' on the part of the electricians who would install the systems I was designing.

The assumption was that the electrician already knew how to electrician, and didn't need their dick held for them.  Obviously, this wasn't always the case, but as long as we got our design intent across, and our specifications addressed all of the necessary situations, then they could go out and install everything based on their professional skills and knowledge.

Now.  There would still be the occasional project where some dickless fuck (often a Revit using dickless fuck) would get involved, couldn't grasp the concept of 'partially schematical drawings' and would start requiring us to provide unnecessary levels of detail (without, of course, paying the requisite fees for said unnecessary levels of detail).

For example - I would always coordinate with our civil engineering team to make sure my service entrance conduits/equipment were located in accordance with all local codes, did not interfere with other systems (such as water/sewer/drainage/etc.) and in most cases, the utility company and/or electricians would install it exactly as shown.

On the other hand - when showing wiring within the building, a schematic was sufficient to show circuits, switching, etc. - and the electrician was responsible for determining the best, neatest, and/or most efficient way to route conduits throughout the building.  Some people couldn't grasp the concept that if we did show all of our conduits - and they got out in the field and found that (for whatever reason) the conduit could not be run as shown, it would result in a costly change order.

Unfortunately, that wouldn't stop them from trying to suck us into the hell that mechanical engineers are forced to endure when it comes to showing systems like HVAC and plumbing that DO require extensive levels of detail and coordination in order for them to function - or that structural/architectural needed to show for their systems/buildings to be built properly.

Anyway, for this client, redundant levels of detail is what they do.  It wastes everyone's time - especially when they start making (typically unnecessary) changes and they have to flow through all of the layers of detail - so instead of taking five minutes to update a set of drawings, it will take several hours (and guarantee something will be missed).

Having it automated seems like it would be a dream come true - but in the whole time I was exposed to Revit, I never once saw someone design an 'automated' system that didn't break after even minor modifications were made to it (often at the very last second - resulting in a lot of manually filling out schedules, sketching things in 2d, or otherwise 'faking it in' out of desperation.

As always, the problem tended to be that the claims made by the software 'developer' about their program's ability to be fluid enough to handle changes were undermined by the fact that they could not predict the kinds of changes that would be made - often way beyond the time that major changes should be being made, which would cause problems for anyone, regardless of what software they were using - but which were exacerbated by the fact that everything was so relentlessly interlocked.

Demonstrations would show how adjustments could be made, and other things would 'magically' update - but these were obviously very carefully orchestrated and tested 'cut scenes' rather than reflecting the 'in game' reality (to borrow a gaming metaphor).  In reality, these interlocking systems are delicate, temperamental, and rarely (if ever) respond well to random changes.

It's one of the reasons why it's difficult for someone who doesn't have experience to design and modify these types of systems as they evolve - because a seemingly minor change to a floor plan can actually have catastrophic effects on the design of other systems.  I would always joke that if they moved (or deleted) a wall - it was going to be the linchpin of the entire fucking design.

While I might be able to salvage most of the layout, I would have to make decisions based on what was going to be the fastest fix, rather than what would've been the best choice if the changes to the layout had been made prior to me starting my design.  For example, the project I am wasting my time detailing out consists of two quonset hut style buildings - one is a 90K s.f. building (768' long), while the other is about half the size.

We designed both, but it turned out that the first one had been being constructed, and conduits/junction boxes had already been installed (much of it in-slab), based on an inferior design from someone who obviously had zero experience designing these types of systems - so we had to go back and modify our design, resulting in it being retarded and inefficient - and if I had designed it in Revit, I would be FUCKED.

Instead, it only took a few hours of thought and sketching in CAD to give the salesman something to take back out and review on-site, get approval, and then a few more hours to complete (with the exception of the stupid point-to-point connection diagram - but even that will only take a little while). 



P.S. - I just read last night about Autodesks dismal quarterly earnings.  The first article I read was trying to downplay it, but the next laid it bare.  As always - Fuck 'em.

Next Time: The Derpth Annual Revderps Award

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Revit Prison Planet


So, the latest project I've been tasked with is a massive maximum security prison complex.  Well, at least I was for a few minutes, when I was pulled off to handle an emergency tenant finish-out, which they needed by tomorrow, so I issued it today (since I didn't have to wait for two hours for the shell building that we did to convert to the latest version of Revit).

Then it was back to prison (which I was able to jump right back into because it didn't take 20 minutes to load up).  What it did take was a little bit of time to figure out what the first guy who started cleaning up the drawings had done.  The first thing I noticed was that he had kept the copious amounts of ductwork shown on their drawings (he put it on a layer that would shade it, but there was just WAY too fucking much of it (and it makes the .pdf set that I got from the engineer look like unadulterated shit).

Part of the reason they were leaving it was that there are a number of fire/smoke dampers throughout the building - but these can be shown without having to leave ALL of the ductwork on, so it ALL went bye-bye.  Then I started going back and fixing all of the fuckups on the floor plans themselves - of  which there were many.

The first thing I noticed was that a number of doors appeared to be missing - but it turned out they were just on a layer that was inexplicably turned off (unfortunately while off, the other guy moved the plans - leaving the doors and some other items floating in space - or overlapping other plans).  Some quick adjustments and I had it back on track.

Then it was on to the standard removal of various headers, structural elements overlapping and wiping out sections of plan, and general 'prettying up' that I like to do so that my plans don't resemble the result of work done while buttchugging flat champagne mixed with expired rave drugs.  That's when I noticed that there are entire sections of plan that (for one reason or another) are doubled-up.

When I say 'doubled up' I mean that there is one set of plans overlapped by another set of plans (but offset *just a little bit*).  It seems to occur in the same part of the plan on multiple levels, so it's either view range fuckups that are allowing me to see the pans above/below the floor I am on - or someone accidentally angled the walls in this part of the plan so I'm actually seeing lines showing the top and bottom of the wall.

Neither of those would be that surprising - and the only trick to fixing it is figuring out which ones are correct, and which ones to delete.  I'll probably just make my best guess and tweak it where necessary

After discussing the project with the guy who sold it - it turns out all we are doing is a one-for-one replacement of all of the existing devices and reusing existing wiring (not that I would've known that based on the tiny amount of information I was given going in).  Oh - and this, despite the fact that it doesn't even remotely meet code - although the AHJ may be giving them some wiggle room, since the place is manned by guards 24/7.

The salesman said he attempted to sell them on the same kind of facility management system that we designed for the massive project I just got through designing, but they turned it down.  Not strictly because of cost though, but (in their words): 'some of their guards are as bad as the inmates when it comes to messing around with stuff'.

I could definitely see opportunities for a bored guard to screw with his buddies by remotely setting off fake alarms and laughing as everyone ran around trying to figure out what was going on.  Honestly, prison guard would be one of the most boring jobs imaginable - but with the constant danger that one of the inmates (who are bored, and most of whom have nothing to lose) will decide to attack you.

That, and the occasional prison riot.

I hear the train a comin'
It's rollin' 'round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine
Since, I don't know when
I'm stuck in Revit Prison
And load times keep draggin' on
But that train keeps a-rollin'
On down to San Antone
When I was just a Revit newbie
My Mama told me, "lad
Always be a good boy
Don't ever play with CAD"
But I deleted a man's model in Reno
Just to watch him die
When I hear that hard drive spinnin'
I hang my head and cry
I bet there's CAD folks eatin'
In a fancy dinin' car
They're probably drinkin' coffee
And smokin' big cigars
Well, I know I had it comin'
I know I can't draw free
But those people keep a-movin'
And converting models tortures me
Well, if they freed me from this Revit
If that railroad train was mine
I bet I'd move it on a little
Farther down the line
Far from Revit Prison
That's where I want to stay
And I'd let that lonesome whistle
Blow my Revit blues away

(Apologies to the late, great Johnny Cash)


Next Time: Cloud With A Chance Of Bullshit

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Pure Revit

Party Time!

I just finished a massive project for (redacted) that involved replacing an existing facility network with a more robust fiber-optic network dedicated to the systems that I design.

Over 100 buildings, now linked together - with the ability for any building to report issues to a handful of manned locations on-site (or remotely) - down to which device is reporting back.

Now it's back to dealing with another massive project where (in the time in between when we issued it and now), they refuse to stop changing shit and bringing in even more people to try to find ways to justify their paychecks by suggesting even more changes.

Fortunately I've already solved the first problem on the list (which was the one I was the most concerned about), but unfortunately there is another one with the potential to crop up, and it has all of the tell-tale signs of being a knee-jerk reaction from someone whose installers were making excuses to cover up their own incompetence.

We use the same system of tagging circuits on every single project we do, and while most of the projects are installed by our own people, we have never had a single project come back where the installers couldn't easily figure out what our design intent was, and how to run the wire.

Enter the dumb fucks that are installing this project - and they want us to go back through and hold their hand by color-coding the whole damn set (despite the fact that they would then need to plot the whole damn thing in color in order to be able to see them, and the fact that it's TOTALLY FUCKING UNNECESSARY!!!)

If we do end up doing it, it will be at massive cost to their client (which may dissuade them from pursuing this idiotic course of action - but at the same time, they have pretty deep pockets).  As always - if they want to pay us a huge amount of money to do something retarded, then we'll do something retarded (and their installers will STILL fuck it up).

In the meantime, someone referring to themselves as 'architaki' commented a previous post (Just Add Stupid) about some site offering Revit 'training' called https://revitpure.com/

I spent a little time flipping around on their very basic looking website (although I am a fan of websites that focus on function over form - rather than having to load massive image files and require the use of glitchy buttons and pull-down menus), and it appears to be somebodies attempt at providing a streamlined approach to learning and applying Revit.

Of course, as soon as you start drilling down, you quickly realize this is actually somebodies attempt at bilking Revitards for cash.  They offer a magic template for $100 (a steal, since some places charge between $5,000-$20,000 for custom templates, ya'll), as well as other tools for making what is supposed to be Autodesk's flagship BIM solution into a functional piece of design software (basically admitting right off the bat that it's useless as FUCK right out of the box).

I clicked on 'design' and was immediately dying laughing at their description (cut and pasted verbatim below:



Revit doesn’t have to be bland and boring. This package will teach you highly effective seduction techniques that will seriously turn on your clients.


Because giving your client a big ol' hard-on (or a lady hard-on) is the sure fire way to soak them for the extra cash necessary to spend the next three months modeling a building that could've already been designed, reviewed by the applicable AHJ's, constructed, and occupied.

Their 'blog' has comical attempts at helping you with 'wall joins':

"You need a lot of patience not to get triggered by the bizarre, diagonal, odd-shaped default joins that Revit will propose to you by default"

But don't worry - they've 'got you covered' (since Autodesk obviously has no fucking idea what they are doing).

 I'll be honest, since I've never used Revit for architecture (and will never use it for anything else), this site might actually constitute something useful for someone whose balls (or lady balls) are being slammed in the Revit drawer - but I seriously fucking doubt it.  My money is on it being yet another attempt at cashing in on the Revit 'craze' - both by propagating it, and then trying to sucker the poor fools being taken for a ride out of even more money.

But as I always say - fuck those poor fools.  They deserve every damn thing they get.

Fuck Autodesk, fuck Revit, fuck Revitards, and if you don't like it - FUCK YOU!!!


Next Time: Revit Prison

Monday, April 29, 2019

20/20 Revision


It's that time again - a brand new version of Revit came slouching out of the Autodesk gate, only to fall directly on its face and shit its pants.

I mean... you've GOT to see what's new in Revit 2020 ya'll:

I was impressed to see that the very first 'improvements' that are listed on the Autodesk site under the bullshit-generated title of 'Capture Detailed Design Intent' were to the Electrical portion of the software - but was then immediately struck with a case of the eye-rolls when I started reading what they were bragging about  finally having accomplished.

"A great example that we’re particularly pleased to release are long-requested electrical design workflow improvements." such as:
  • Revit now lets you utilize feed through lugs when creating your electrical distribution systems. This capability streamlines related documentation tasks, and helps designers create a better digital model of the system to support analysis.
  • Electrical homerun wiring improvements give you the control over arrowheads and tickmarks that you need to create electrical documentation that’s easier to understand and use.
 Oh joy...  you know what else gave me 'control over arrowheads and tickmarks that I needed to create electrical documentation that's easier to understand and use?  A DECENT FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE THAT DIDN'T FUCK ITSELF INTO A HOLE IN THE GODDAMNED GROUND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!!

And that's about it for the Electrical side of things - then it's on to glorious architectural bullshit like elliptical walls/curtain walls, and structural shit like the ability to copy rebar and structural elements.

Oh - and now you can bring .pdfs into your drawing!!!  And have the ability to snap to them so you can trace them!!!  I think I just came!!!

Then it's on to some cloud bullshit, and finally a toss off to the Mechanical people - the ability to export to CSV or TXT (because they've obviously solved every other shortcoming of the software for HVAC/Plumbing design).

A few more 'automation and optimization' tools that... holy shit!!! What's this?   You can CUT & PASTE LEGENDS ACROSS SHEETS!!!!   JOYOUS DAY!!!!

Then, since Revit doesn't already have more view settings than there are hydrogen molecules in the universe - they decided to take care of a 'top customer request' - "improved OR in view filters new in Revit 2020 lets you focus on parts of your model at a higher level of specificity and gives you further control over view graphics."

 And (believe it or not) this doesn't even cover all of the new 'features' and 'updates' in Revit 2020!!!

I actually believe them - since if they had included any more descriptions, there wouldn't be a Revit Architectural/Engineering shop anywhere getting any work done at all (so, in other words, like normal) because they would be having to replace every Revitards computer screens after they get shorted out by being covered in jizz.

 Fuck Revit 2020, it's just the beginning of another decade of suffering and pain for the idiots still sticking their dick in the Revit pencil sharpener.

In the meantime - MICROSTATION!!!

Not using it either, but my latest project was done in it, and the files I received were TOTAL GARBAGE.  The first set I got were comically renamed by an incompetent who managed to wipe out the file extensions by naming the files A.1, A.2,, etc. (instead of A1.dgn, A2.dgn, etc.).  I renamed the first one and imported it to CAD, only to find out that it would only show me walls (no doors, room names, etc.)

I had a guy at the firm we share a building with convert it from .dgn to .dwg and it was slightly better - but a lot of stuff was offset (as easy as moving it back to where it belonged), but that's when I realized they were just floor plans, with none of the equipment that should've been showing up on them.  Even if it had the information I needed, there are literally over 100 buildings on this job site - and that's before you got to the site plans showing primary and secondary fiber loops, so I would've had to convert every single last one.

I had a .pdf set - and despite seriously disliking converting .pdf to .dwg, I have been trying out various programs to see which one works the best.  I was rather amazed by the free demo of a program simply called 'Any PDF to DWG Convertor'.  It managed to convert a several hundred page .pdf into .dwg - and the only thing it seemed to want to do was dump panel schedules and some other image files (none of which I needed) into their own .dwg's (resulting in over 600 files that I had to comb through).

I was able to compile every single building and site plan into one .dwg, get everything scaled properly, and start working on it.  It's a fairly extensive project, but I shouldn't have any trouble banging it out in short order thanks to not having to wait a decade for 'design workflow improvements'.

I did run across some comically elaborate 3D elements (strangely only in one of the 100+ buildings - so it had to have been where some BIMtard got ahold  of this one building and probably spent as long detailing it out as the person who did the rest of the set).

Yes, that's a toilet (1580 lines x4) and a urinal (1309 lines x 3).  The keyplan reproduced the toilets, urinals AND three sinks consisting of another 9861lines- for a total of 20108 lines.  They are completely inconsequential to my project, so I just deleted them.

Just like I'd like to delete Revit, and everyone still sucking the Revit dick in 2019-2020.

Fuck 'em all.


Next Time: Pure Revit

Monday, March 11, 2019

Just Add Stupid

Cock 'n Balls!

Ah, what a glorious day!

I was sick as fuck last week, and still managed to finish banging out one massive High School, a slightly less massive Elementary School (both of which supplied me with piss-poor Revitized floor plans that were sad jokes), and then dove into my next project: an addition to a college dorm.

As usual, I would rather do three new projects (regardless of how badly the floor plans are drawn) than have to deal with one attempt at modifying an existing building.  Fortunately we did the original building (before my time), so I was able to bring in the existing devices and get right to wo....

No wait - instead (after cleaning up the hatching-fest that was the garbage Revit drawings that I was provided) I attempted to overlay the new devices, only to find out that the moron responsible for regenerating the entire fucking thing in 3D was dangerously incompetent, and almost nothing lines up.

Now, it's possible that the original drawings were not drawn accurately (but not probable, since they were done before Revit got on the scene and starting ejaculating its diseased semen all over the industry).  More likely is that they went out and took some inaccurate measurements, then tried to cram it all together in Revit - while also making various modifications to the plans - and finally slapped an addition on the end.

Then the guy who laid out the new equipment in the new and existing areas smoked a big heaping bowl of crack, and attempted to 'design' (using that word in the loosest possible way) a system that would supposedly be sufficient to address the existing portions, the modified portions, and the new addition.

Now it falls to me to figure out what the FUCK the final system design for the whole damn building is going to look like.  I've already attempted contacting the poor fuck who sold/priced it, and I can guarantee that he hasn't even thought of (or been aware of) the majority of the items on my list (and I wouldn't be surprised if he either fails to respond, or responds with standard, non-committal nonsense that will make it obvious he didn't actually read my e-mail).

I copied the owner of my damn company on it too though, so it's not impossible that I might get some clarification on it.

It wouldn't be the first time I've had a project tossed in my lap, hair on fire, with nobody having any clue what is going on - no schedule or budget to do it properly, and which will most likely come back multiple times as things that could've easily been worked out on the front end by adults who know how to communicate and use reasoning, become a clusterfuck of assumptions.

I regularly joke about every project that comes through the doors being the 'first project we've ever done', meaning that they make the same damn mistakes every time they sell a project, and have the same expectation that everyone involved is a goddamned mind reader (rather than putting together even the most basic 'theory of operation' so that we don't take off in the wrong direction and end up having to spend extra time and effort correcting course).

It can be highly amusing at times, as we go through the same process of explaining to them what we actually need to know in order to properly design and complete a project, but it can also be extremely frustrating as we go through the same damn process of explaining to them what the fuck we need to know in order to properly design and complete a project.

It bounces directly off some people's brains, because they think we'll just 'figure it out', and while we are absolutely 'figure it out' masters, there's a point at which they are relying on our ability to do this after the fact, and it makes them think they don't have to be involved - either on the front end, while it's in the works, or afterward.

Then you get the most hilarious e-mail/phone call where they ask 'why isn't this like this' or 'why didn't we do such and such like so and so', and you get to point them to the e-mails where you kept asking them to DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS and they kept doing the old generalized hand-waving routine rather than get hard facts.

In the meantime, I was at the movies the other night and by a weird coincidence ran into the guy that used to be the 'Revit Guru' at my last firm.  I had seen on Facebook where his wife was opining his being let go (fired?)  I didn't bother getting any more detail, but he has landed himself a job, amusingly, at the firm that did the job I was complaining about in "A Machline Made In Hell"

I doubt he had anything to do with that particular project, because it's a massive firm with field offices all over the damn place, but I have little doubt that he's spreading his Revit stupidity far and wide - making the same stupid excuses for why they still haven't fixed basic functionality, and defending it against all enemies (real and perceived).

Anyhow, Fuck Revit, Fuck Autodesk, Fuck you, and Goddamn Am I Tired.

Suck A Fat One,


Next Time:  Like OMG - Revit 2020 is just so... like... fucking amazeballs ya'll....