Friday, January 21, 2022

Order First! Design Afterward!!!

Holy Mother Of All Fucks Ya'll.

So I managed to put a bow on that goddamned piece of shit project and get it off my desk (where it is now hovering in mid-air, because we aren't sending them shit until they agree to paying us for the extra work that their incompetence generated).

I knocked out a few small items that had piled up - then dove into another project with GUSTO!!! only to find out that it required me to learn a completely different system than the one we normally install.  Fortunately I had another project using that same system to use as a 'go by' but unfortunately they didn't really resemble each other.  I managed to squeeze out something passable (I actually caught a few mistakes on the 'go by' so mine is at least an improvement over it).

Next I had to split a five-story apartment building in half because the dipshits who are building it want to build it in 'phases' and rather than just figure it out, they wanted those phases documented (and were willing to pay us to do it - so hey!)  At first they wanted to break it into four phases, which would've been... clusterfuck, but now that they just wanted two, I started looking at it closer, and damned if I hadn't already designed it almost perfectly to be broken in half.

The location of the main equipment looked a little stupid - being in a room on the opposite end of a parking garage, but that's where it was originally, and nobody told me to move it, so that's where it stayed.  Eventually, once they build Phase 2, it will look a little less silly.  After pondering a few different ways to issue it (including just circling one half and saying 'Phase 1' and the other half and saying 'Phase 2' - which I opted not to do because they had actually agreed to a fairly hefty sum of money to do the redesign), I decided to issue two sets of drawings.

The first set required me to delete the sections of the floor plan that wouldn't be built until the second phase, including removing some doors that were just going to open into nothing, and didn't take very long - until I got to the top floor and realized that I had circuits originating in panels located in rooms that weren't going to exist yet. This required me to add one extra panel (they can get over it) and actually ended up being a better overall design anyway (so they can get over it twice).

The second phase drawings I basically just lightly hatched the 'phase 1' portions and marked them as 'existing', and I'm pretty sure they can figure the rest out.  I addressed a small handful of other comments that had come back on the original drawings (including removing an entire secondary system), and I sent it out (hopefully to never come back - because it was already on its second go-around thanks to a dumbass engineer who dropped the ball (resulting in a change order for us - and thus more money, but also me having to revisit a job that I was sick and tired of already).

 THEN it was on to a complete system upgrade for a massive industrial plant and other associated buildings.  I thought I was ahead of the game on it, because I had (out of the goodness of my heart) already helped the salesman do a bid package showing all of the buildings, locations of devices/equipment, etc. (which was one of the factors that resulted in him being awarded the job), but then I remembered getting an e-mail from the guy who does our ordering asking about colors/markings on devices - despite the fact that I hadn't actually designed the project or put together a bill of materials to order from.

It turned out that the salesman had gotten a sales rep for the company whose equipment we spec to give it a look, put together a list of equipment - and then go ahead and fucking order it.

I wasn't too concerned, because the assumption would be that the rep should know their equipment and give a pretty accurate assessment of what would be necessary for the installation - but then I started looking into what had been ordered, and asking the salesman basic questions that he couldn't answer, so I started to be concerned about trying to shoehorn my design into a pile of equipment what was already (theoretically) on its way.

I made contact with the rep to ask him some simple questions, which he (very annoyingly) decided to turn into a 'teaching moment' which I was not in the fucking mood for.  Rather than *answer my goddamned questions* he decided to suggest that it would be better for me to learn how to figure it out for myself.  In the first e-mail I wrote (and deleted) I basically let him know that I am a motherfucking figuring it out MASTER with decades of experience figuring shit the fuck out - even when I am provided with incomplete/incorrect/misleading information, dealing with incompetents (and incompetence), and even where information is purposefully being withheld from me (or I am 'out of the loop' for one reason or another).

My second e-mail was a bit more on point, and I started off by thanking him for his frank response, telling him that I share his sentiment about figuring things out rather than expecting people to tell me how to do them.  I then proceeded to explain to him that the only reason I was asking for clarification was that our standard operating procedure of me going through the design process and ONLY THEN ordering goddamned equipment had been circumvented, so I basically just needed to know what the fuck he was thinking when he put this particular list of equipment together so I could make my design align with it.

I followed that up by gleefully pointing out two major fuckups that I found in the information he provided me - which ended up making his exhortation to me to 'learn to figure it out' goddamned prophetic, because I *figured out* that he had duplicated the name of a panel (answering my first question about why there wasn't enough room for equipment inside of the panels).  

 The second question I had was about how to derive circuits from the panels, and while he did point me in (sort of) the right direction on what piece of equipment would accomplish this, it required two more e-mails for him to raise a question, answer his own question, only for it to turn out that this piece of equipment was TOTALLY NOT GOING TO FUCKING DO WHAT I NEEDED IT TO DO.

 I thought it was strange that I had never heard of that particular piece of equipment, but it's because we don't fucking use them, because they are outdated, would require additional equipment to make them do what we need them to do, and COST MORE TO BEGIN WITH.  I'm not saying he was intentionally trying to unload this old shit on us, or bilk us for money - but by removing these pieces of equipment from the job (which the salesman can either cancel the orders for, or simply return them) we will save a couple grand (which can go towards fixing other fuckups in the order - such as the batteries for nearly every building in the project being undersized - and the correct size batteries requiring external cabinets (at a hundred bucks a pop).

Despite all of this dumbfuckery, the project itself is actually quite simple, and despite the fact that it is one of the first ones I'm designing using a new iteration of the systems we specify, I am actually already very close to completing it.  I had to rely a little bit on our install manager and some other guys that work here to hash out a few details about the fiber-optic network to connect all of the panels (in this new system) together (because I sure as fuck was done asking that dumbass rep for any more help).

In retrospect, I should've more or less ignored the list of equipment they had ordered, designed the system the way I normally would, and then let them fix the order (in a brief discussion with the owner of my company before lunch, he basically said as much).  I'm disinclined to do a complete redesign now though, so I'll keep shoehorning it in (with a few notable improvements).

After this, I've got one more change-order on a building to complete, and I'll actually be completely caught up (there are other projects that I'll be able to work on - but my backlog will officially be cleared).  Of course, that doesn't mean that one (or more.... or all) of the projects I've done won't come screaming back needing major fixes (or complete redo's).

 All in all it's been a crazy January - we usually start off the year slow, and struggling to find stuff to do while everyone else gets geared up, but this year it's been balls-to-the-wall.

 And anyone who gets in my way can get my balls-on-their-chin.

-SkullFuck

(Next Time: ?!?!?!?!)

Wednesday, January 5, 2022

I Know You Are Right, But I Want You To Do It Wrong Anyways.

So holy goddamned fuck ya'll.

I was actually making progress (against all odds) on the shithole piece of fucking shit project that will... not... end..., then the guy who took over the project from the one who originally sold it (and then left the company - leaving us to have to deal with it) decided to come back and throw a wrench in my design - after the fact.

I had managed to complete a relatively decent set of floor plans, and only needed to finish up some calculations and details - when he pointed out that plugging my design into a new spreadsheet resulted in most (damn near all) of the circuits being overloaded.... and I.. fucking snapped.

I punched every single door on the way back to my office while screaming 'FUCK' over and over - then chucked a chair across my office, before kicking the shit out of another chair.  While I'm sure a few people heard it, only 2-3 were actually in their offices (including the dipshit who set me off).

I wandered outside, and pondered just leaving for the day (if not permanently) but my keys were still in my office (along with my jacket, and it was fucking cold out) so I wandered back in again.  It was nearly lunch time, so I grabbed my shit and left - in no condition to be behind the wheel of a car, but I managed to get something to eat (only punching the fucking shit out of my steering wheel a few times), and came back to see what the fallout would be.

Fortunately nobody really gives a fuck how I act/talk at my office - and the guy who set me off had decided to go get lunch too, so he wasn't there.  I pulled another guy in (who also hates the guy who set me off) and we reviewed what it was that he was babbling about when he told me my circuits were overloaded.

That was when I remembered overhearing the guy talking to an engineer a few weeks prior on a project that we had completed and issued.  He was concerned about the way we did the circuit calculations, and was refusing to put his stamp on the drawings unless we did what he wanted.  What it basically came down to (without going into too much detail) is that he acknowledged that our (already conservative) calculations (related to battery sizing) were right - but he wanted to make them even more conservative.

The result would've been having to go back through the project and completely redo every single circuit in the building - BUT we were able to head it off by up-sizing the wire for the circuits (probably at our own cost).  I was given the updated spreadsheet that reflected this dumbass method of designing (basically ignoring the size of battery we are putting in... for... reasons?), but I had already been doing my layout based on our standard calculations.

 This isn't the first time this has happened - we had another (government) client who decided to start getting up in our shit, and the resulting calculations would've had us limited to putting a small handful of devices per circuit, and only being able to run very limited distances (the upshot of which would be having to add extra power supplies).

Upon finding out that we were being asked to do this (not just on that particular project - but every project we do - whether or not the client was a dumbass) we went back to doing it correctly - right up until this most recent clusterfuck.  After calming down a bit - I was able to convince the guy (who I hopefully scared - at least a little bit) that we just needed to submit my drawings as-is, and only make changes if the client (another government client) actually requested that we do so.

I went back to my office, but the stress meant the rest of my day was fucking shot due to not being able to concentrate on shit.  We revisited the discussion right before I left, and he was right back to trying to convince me that we needed to redo the vast majority of the project as if we had never talked (this guy is super-smart when it comes to electronics/electrical stuff, but is an abject moron when it comes to just about everything else).

This morning we discussed it briefly again, and I have hopefully convinced him that we're going to use the idiotic calculations, up-size the wire - and if the owner of our company balks at the extra cost, telling him that the other option would be to add more power supplies (in addition to spending even  more time re-designing this stupid fucking project) - so it's basically a wash.  

 I'm currently pondering whether or not to just pull the owner in now, and pit him up against dipshit - because I'm basically being asked to 'fix' a functional design based on new criteria that doesn't make any sense, basically allowing a different client to dictate how we design.  I acknowledged to dipshit that his decision to kowtow to that client (and attempt to sidestep any future bitching by this client) is due to him being exhausted with having to argue with idiots - but this is a hill I would absolutely be willing to die on.

Now I get to see if I can stay focused enough to finish the rest of the project (I'm going to need to bring dipshit in for one last thing, which I can guarantee is going to be like pulling teeth) and get it the fuck out - just so they can eat it the fuck alive, and fuck me in the ass so hard I want to drive to wherever they are and spoon feed them their own feces.

This whole 'lets try to appease them before the fact' attitude is a massive waste of time - because (as I discussed with dipshit) while it's possible that they may obsess over the same thing as the other client, chances are their obsession will lie elsewhere, on some other aspect of the design.  It's also not a good precedent to set - allowing the lowest common denominator to dictate how we (who have designed and installed countless fully-functional systems) do our work.

He did have one good suggestion - that we could go to the codes officials (since it is dumbasses quoting/misinterpreting code to us that is driving this problem), present our case, and request an official interpretation - so that we will have something to point future dumbasses to when they attempt to dumbass.

I doubt that's going to happen though, we'll just keep being beholden to dumbasses - many of whom are simply bored and want to run us through the wringer in order to justify their own bloated wages.

The thing that gets me, is that if it's not Revit (as it was with my last job - and tangentially at this one as I've been describing in my previous posts) - it's the same fucking mentality keeping me from being able to do my job.  Once I get this thing done, I've got several other projects lined up behind it, and to be brutally honest, I don't know what the fucking point is anymore.

I think the only thing that keeps me going is that I'm not going to allow dumbasses and dipshits to break me.

The problem is that I may very well end up breaking (at least a few) of them.

-SkullFuck

 <<<UPDATE: The owner ended up coming to me for a status update (mainly because he's concerned about other projects piling up behind this one).  I informed him of the dipshit throwing a wrench in it (dipshit heard us talking and came in to be part of the conversation) and long story short - the owner agreed that we don't let the engineer on one project dictate how we design a project they aren't involved in - so we're back doing it the way I planned all along, and fuck the dipshit.

Oh and on a side note, I might've mentioned it before, but dipshit is also unsurprisingly our resident Covid denying, Fauci hating, Anti-Vaxx Trumptard who somehow manages to make every single conversation, regardless of topic, into a rant about 'libtards', 'tree huggers', etc. as if it has any bearing on what the fuck we are doing at any given point in time.

He just ducked his head into my office a few minutes ago and the first thing I said to him was 'fuck you'.  He laughed and we had a brief conversation - I'm pretty sure he's blissfully unaware of (i.e. too stupid to understand) how close he comes to dying on a daily basis.>>>

(Next Time: 'Let's order the equipment first - THEN design the project')

Monday, December 6, 2021

The 'Competition'

Let's get right to it, shall we?

So I'm fighting the good fight on the never-ending clusterfuck project (without actually engaging in the type of ass-whooping that these people desperate deserve), and after requesting some additional information, I manage to get a floor plan for the small building that they've decided to try to issue first (which, unsurprisingly, has changed extensively).

The envelope of the building has grown, and nearly (read: every) wall in the interior has moved - with entire areas being rearranged.  Fortunately the owner of the company I work for now happened to be standing in the room when I got it, and I was able to show him an overlay of the old vs. new plans so he knows that I'm not just saying these people are incompetent, it's right there in black and white (or black, white, and the purplish color I use for my background).

I've mentioned this in the past, but I don't know if it is possible (and even if it is, I've never seen anyone do it) to overlay two plans over the top of each other in Revit in order to compare differences.  I'm willing to bet it's not possible, since you would have to somehow have two models overlaid in order to accomplish it, and even if you put one higher than the other and then fiddled with view range settings, who the fuck  knows what the result would be?

It has helped me on countless occasions, because unlike opening a model and having to hunt down what has moved, it is (again) right there.  'Coordination' gets bandied about as a benefit of sucking the Revit cock, but I'm actually staring at a floor plan (on the larger building) where offices were removed, but the engineer designing the system I'm working on (and/or their Revit lackeys) didn't notice, so there is equipment still shown as if the offices were still there (resulting in their design being both *wrong* and *stupid looking*.

I've also noticed another area where elevator lobbies on two floor have had doors added, closing off from corridors - and because they didn't notice, there is now no equipment in those elevator lobbies (another door blocks off the stairwell on one level - creating a landing with no equipment on it either).  The only reason I'm catching this stuff (besides being meticulous as fuck) is that instead of allowing Revit to fuck me up, I'm actually paying attention and getting work done - 'coordination' my ass. 

So, after fiddling with the small building for a while, I requested mechanical drawings - so I could verify that more equipment wouldn't be necessary that nobody had thought of (happens on nearly every single project I do - sometimes *fucktons* of extra equipment that everyone thought would magically get 'coordinated' (there's that word again).  Instead, one of the idiots in charge of the project promptly sent me electrical drawings, and electrical riser (by itself, for some reason).

In their defense, they did send me *some* of the mechanical information for the larger building, but even it was incomplete, as they had decided at some point to break part of that building off, give it a TLA (three letter acronym) and apparently make it its own project (unless I'm told otherwise, it's staying as part of the building in my drawings, because they can go fuck themselves).  They did eventually provide me the rest of what I needed (which all looks like shit, and will require me to scour it to make sure we're kosher.

I was glad they had sent me the electrical though, because I was able to verify that they didn't have any electrical connections to the type of equipment I was looking for on the mechanical - but also because it gave me a glimpse of what these people think is acceptable work product:

 


That is a little snippet of a building (I'd love to post the whole thing, but I don't want to get in trouble - and I doubt anybody could tell what the fuck it is based on this little snip).  What you *can* see is... holy shit, are those structural elements?  Did the Revit Dick Socket (tm) that scribbled this nonsense not know how to limit his view range and/or turn them off (or at least shade them out)?  Did they actually think this looked good?  An actual 'electrical engineer' apparently thought it was good enough to put his seal/signature on.

That snippet really doesn't do it justice, because the whole drawing looks like that.  Just... fucking gobbledygook.  If I had attempted to hand that drawing to the electrical engineer I used to work for, he would've printed it out, wrapped it around his fist, and beaten me half to death with it (while making disparaging remarks about my mother) - and you know what?  He would be 100% justified in doing so.

As someone who did that type of work for over a decade, it's embarrassing to see what Revit has reduced these fucktards to.  I would piss directly on the person/people responsible for this shit, and if I were a project manager/client/etc. - and I opened a set of drawings to find this (not to mention an electrician who is expected to install based on this), I'd make sure it was the last time that particular firm was ever involved in one of my projects - ever again.

The saddest part of all - is that it probably took them considerable time, and herculean amounts of effort to get this pathetic fucking garbage out of Revit - to the point that they might even feel proud of what they accomplished.  I thought for a second of entertaining the idea that it was intentional - like a 'fuck you for making me use Revit' kind of thing, but I put that idea out of my head quickly.

This is what a once proud industry has been reduced to ladies and gentlemen.

I'm not even going to post pictures of 'what the fuckery' from the larger building - the architectural fuckups alone could fill volumes.  Zoom in on any two walls in the building and its just 'good enough'.  Delete any hatching and 'oh - that's what they were hiding behind hatching'.  Try to ignore the glaring errors and start doing your job - and your eyeballs will implode.  Does every piece of millwork in the building extend through walls?  Yes... yes it does.  Are half the dividers in the bathroom embedded into walls?  Yes... yes they are.

Are bulkheads and areas that are open to other floors so poorly rendered that you can't tell what the fuck is going on?  You fuckin' bet they are.

Do the people doing this project have any idea what they are doing (or how bad they are fucking everyone else involved)? Not a fucking chance.

Fuck Revit.

Fuck BIM, fuck Autodesk, fuck everyone responsible for this project specifically, and more broadly - fuck anyone selling, propagating, or willfully using Revit.

Not to sound like a broken fucking record - but fuck every one of you back-asswards, shit stench, monkey fucking, diseased donkey dick smoking, drain-bamaged, good-for-nothing asswipes.

That is all for now.

Sincerely,

SkullFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Next Time: 'Durrr...I don't know how a battery works... durrr...'

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Still Fucking Up The System

 Hola Fuckfaces,

So I had stopped all work on a project a while back because the client refused to stop fucking around with the design (the one that required us to use Bluebeam to review .pdfs), but had a request to go ahead and waste yet more time to issue a 'complete' set based on the current iteration of their plans - which I agreed to do, because they had at least nailed down how some of it was going to need to be circuited to handle 'secure' areas (and 'super-secure' areas within those 'secure' areas).

They had *finally* provided some CAD files a few weeks ago - which I had been requesting since day one, and which would've taken them thirty seconds to export (but would also be an admission that they are still spinning in circles and changing things on the fly).  These CAD files turned out to be Architectural plans from June (and were probably exported for someone else's use, because I'm not privy to anything).

I started to clean them up, and almost immediately noticed that, based on the most up-to-date .pdf (which we only have access to the most current version of at any given time (see also 'not wanting to admit how much they keep changing this goddamned thing), that they had... (bum bum BUMMMM) continued to make floor plan changes in the interim.  Unsurprising, I know - but this was what made me stop working on it the first time.

I remember cleaning up the original floor plans (converted .pdfs that were total garbage) and then trying to play 'catch-up' by updating the floor plans every time I would see an updated .pdf show up - before finally throwing my hands up because how the fuck can I keep up with constant modifications to a design that are going to require me to scour every new set of plans for what they did and didn't change?

The minute I thought I had a complete set of drawings to move forward with, it would turn out that as I was updating my plans, they were busy making the next set of changes.  The salesman is fucking useless, because he's playing their game - while trying to figure out a way to charge them for changes (which should be a no-brainer, because they refuse to stop changing things).

I, on the other hand, am fucking done playing their game - because it's *painfully* obvious that the Revit mentality has thoroughly infected all of the people involved in this project.  I'm sure they would love nothing more than if I were forced to remotely access their model and work in Revit as well - which, while it would give me access to every change they made in real-time, doesn't change the fact that their inability to get to a substantial level of completion would require me to keep reworking and reworking my design - but now in Revit instead of CAD, which would open a massive can of worms.

Even when I was working at a firm where I was on the same network as the other Revitards, it would regularly shit itself, requiring everyone to run around and find who had the most complete non-corrupted Revit model, make it the central model, and have everyone switch to using it (then figure out how hard it had fucked them).  I can't imagine being in a remote office, accessing Revit via the Internet, and that not being 10 or even 20 times more of a clusterfuck, as I would have to be in constant contact with these idiots to make sure they aren't fucking me directly into a black hole (even moreso than they are already doing).

I've got the project sitting open right now, staring at it, with no idea of how to procede - and this is even before I start doing my actual job - which should not (but generally does) involve fixing floor plans to make them even remotely passable.  I've contacted one guy (the one who finally showed me where to access CAD files), who I will probably not hear back from, and/or will probably not actually provide any help.  I could contact other people involved in the project, but the e-mails would most likely be made entirely of the word 'fuck', and threats to exhume their dead grandparent's corpses for the purposes of rape.

It's just... completely retarded at this point.  I've bitched endlessly to this salesman, to the owner, and anyone else who will listen, and it's pointless.  Usually I can get mad about a project, and use that anger to propel me forward - knowing full well that any 'progress' I make will undoubtedly be rendered moot by things completely out of my control (but which will also undoubtedly result in more work for me).  In this case, it's just making me want to put my thumbs in the eyes of the people responsible, and push until I feel the atrophied remains of their brains.

Of course, since they've all gone down the Revit circle-jerk hole, actually identifying who is to blame becomes considerably more difficult.  I'm sure they've got teams of Revitards (most of whom, based on how shitty their drawings look) probably couldn't join two walls together if you put a gun to their heads) who shoulder much of the blame - because changes that are being fed to them take weeks instead of days to filter down through.

There are also their bosses, who almost certainly don't understand Revit, or what it has done to a once thriving and productive industry.  It's a buzz word to them - something they can sell to clients who don't understand it either - but who will be pissed off when their projects languish in modelling hell rather than getting completed correctly and quickly.

There are the clients themselves, who (especially in this case) are driving a lot of the changes - with no idea of how that trickles down to everyone involved (up to and including me) instead of getting a plan together and waiting until they've worked out at least *some* of the bugs before everyone high-dives into the shallow end of the pool.

I'm fucking lost, and I'm fucking done.  The rest of this day is probably shot - unless I can somehow motivate myself to finish putting together a set of plans (goddamned backgrounds for fucks sake) which will involve having to manually modify the drawings.  It's do-able, but damned if I don't find myself back, exactly where I was months ago - already WAAAAY over budget for my time (because the guy who originally sold it, and who is no longer with us) had zero idea of how much of a clusterfuck it would turn into  - and no closer to the goal of sawing off even a half-ass version of it so we can figure out how to proceed.

It's mind numbing - and I can't help but blame Revit for at least part of it.  The mindset if nothing else.

Fuck Revit.  Fuck this client. Fuck the engineers and architects involved in this project.  Fuck their Revitards. Fuck Autodesk for dumping this bullshit on the world....

 Oh - and if you don't like it and/or are (in any fashion) willfully using, or forcing anyone else to use Revit...  I've got three words for you: EAT A DICK.

-Skullfuck

Update: The guy actually got back to me, agreed that 'yes - these 2d plans are woefully out of date'. He got them to export new ones, but no sooner than I tried to start downloading them, he sent another e-mail to inform me that they were updating them again. I waited for a little while - saw one update, noticed they had neglected to export the lowest floor - contacted the guy to let him know - and *now* he might be able to get me, not just architectural floor plans - but the actual design drawings showing locations of all of the devices I need to circuit. I'm not holding my breath, but I might actually be able to get something out by the end of the year.)

Next Time: The Competition

Friday, August 6, 2021

Floor Plans That Suck

 G'day SkullFuckTards!

It's day 1 billion of the ongoing pandemic clusterfuck that won't ever go away because people are stupid as fuck and need their eyeballs popped out of their heads with a spoon - but I digress.

So I'm staring at yet another attempt by some dumbass to design a floor plan in what I can only assume is Revit, but the files I received were in Microstation so it's entirely possible that it's an unholy union of the two - but I'm also looking at a set of .pdfs generated from... who the fuck knows anymore - all I see is the plan having to completely regenerate every time I pan or move because they slapped hundreds of what appear to be lovingly crafted 3d mesh chairs (including a stack of them in a storage closet... for fucks sake).

I went into the .pdf to investigate why the plans that the engineer generated were showing several rooms with no doors on the second floor - as well as zero wall penetrations for windows or doors (and no room names/numbers - because 'why the fuck even care?').

At first I thought the plans had been modified (at which point I would have to figure out which ones were newer and hope to god it didn't totally fuck everything up), but then I started to realize I was looking at even more headers - because whoever the fuck did this fucking thing does not fucking grasp the fucking concept of fucking view range.

I honestly wish I had the time and energy to track down every single goddamned one of the cocksucking morons that generate these shitty floor plans and show them what I, a lowly 'dinosaur' CAD holdout/luddite was able to make them look like (i.e. - a functional set of plans where you can actually see things like... oh I don't know... 'doors' or whatever).

It's stunning the level of unnecessary detail that is provided for things like rollup doors (including like.. every goddamned bracket holding it together), but the most basic shit is completely overlooked (oh, and a column from a different level is shown in the middle of the door opening).

It's entirely possible that they simply hit their due date, and were forced to just chuck whatever shitty looking shit their shitty software shat out into the world - but it's equally possible they have eschewed things like 'good functional plans' for 'me am big smart, me 3d model man' (or some combination of the two).

In any case, their response would most likely be to drool, interspersed with various 'herps' and 'derps' about how their process (which they've allowed themselves to be coerced into using) is obviously 'superior' to the way we used to do things, because back then you had to... actually give a shit?

Seriously, almost every 'benefit' I've heard a BIMtard throw at me involves 'we don't have to do x or y anymore', basically meaning they aren't spending the time and effort to actually think about the project, and are just expecting their fancy (and expensive) software to figure it all out for them.

It's fucking embarrassing to see the state of the industry at this point - and these aren't just some shitty throw-away strip-mall projects either, these plans are being generated for large-scale commercial, industrial, government, and other types of projects - and they just look like unwashed assholes once you get past the 'ooh ahh' of how much unnecessary crap they shove into the plans and notice that the fundamentals are just... not fucking there.

Once I turn off (or more often simply delete) their massively over-detailed landscape furniture and other components, and start looking at the basic layouts, the holes in their designs immediately become apparent.

Then I get to manually fix just... dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of places where I'm... just not going to allow my drawings to look like this.  No.  Not today, not tomorrow, and I don't give a fuck how long it takes me - EVER.

Like I said, the only thing I wish I could do is put my finished plans next to theirs - grab them by their skulls and force them to look at the difference.  Then when they open their mouths to say literally anything at all other than 'I will strive to do better sir', I will bounce their fucking heads off the table until they lose consciousness, and then piss on them.

Fuck.  These.  People.

Sincerely,

-SkullFuck

Next Time: Still Getting Skullfucked

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Bluebeam Revu Can Suck a Dick.

Queso Paso?

So I've still got this stupid goddamned project floating around in space - with no idea when they will stop fucking around with it and allow me to do my job.

I had a few minutes in between other projects (that I'm not getting any fucking information on) to see what its status was, and remembered that I had uninstalled Bluebeam Revu because it's a piece of shit that installs itself into every other program on my computer.

One (tiny little) thing in their favor is that when I re-downloaded and installed, it apparently gives me another 30 day trial (don't know if this works indefinitely or not), because I'm sure as fuck not spending any money on this bullshit (and am disinclined to ask my company to do so either - because I hope I never have to fucking see it again).

I attempt to log in to the session that I was previously given access to, only to find out that these dipshits ended that session, and created two new ones (one for Current QC set, and one for 'ongoing current pdf set', whatever the fuck that means - I'll probably end up having to dig through both to figure out what the fuck is going on) neither of which I have access to.

I mean, why would I need access to the only goddamned place (out of the half dozen shitty pieces of software they dumped on us) that I can actually see the drawings that I'm supposed to be basing my design on?  I'm still glad that I'm not being expected to do the Revit Buttfuck 2-Step, but this process shares almost everything in common with the mentality that allowed people to stick the diseased Revit cock up everybody's asses in the first place.

If I were still at my last firm, I would probably still be wasting my time to open their stupid goddamned Revit model from time to time to export .dwgs so I can actually do my fucking job, but since I 1) Don't fucking have Revit on my computer, and 2) Don't fucking want Revit on my computer, then I am stuck having to do everything via .pdfs.

I think I mentioned last time that I got pulled into this project WAAAAAY too early.  There was a small building (that probably should've been it's own project so we could get it out of the way), but then I was handed a much (much) larger building that I didn't realize was still in a state of flux. I exported .pdfs to .dwg to get started (which fucking sucks), and have already gone through one set of changes.

The extra time to do this has killed the hours allotted to this project (and then some), but I rarely have to listen to anyone (who matters) complain about me going over on hours (because they are a fraction of the profit we'll make on this project) - and it's still nowhere near done.  Of course, once we get a 'final' set of drawings from them, I'll probably knock the rest of it out in a day or two - as opposed to the months long process that these morons have drug everyone else through.

It's a fairly elaborate project, but not that elaborate - I've certainly worked on larger and more involved projects in the past that didn't require the sheer amount of time/software that these people have used (nor would they have benefited in any way from their circle-jerk of a process).  In fact, it probably would already be under construction, as their stupid assumptions about how things were going to magically work were inevitably proven wrong.

Instead, it's going to probably be a year or more before these assumptions (the mother of all fuckups) come to light, meaning that I'll probably end up having to get drug back in to untangle the clusterfuck that they've made of what could've been a relatively painless process if they didn't have their heads (along with multiple dildos) up their asses.

It is a government project after all, though - so over-elaborate processes, too many goddamned people involved at all levels, and no idea what the fuck is going on the vast majority of the time is pretty much a given. You would think I would get used to this process eventually - and just accept that 'it is what it is', but anyone who has even a passing knowledge of my thought process (either from listening to me spew an almost non-stop stream of vulgarity from  my office, or from reading my online screeds should probably have figured out that 'it is what it is' can go fuck itself, along with everyone involved.

I regularly manage to break people who make the mistake of thinking I've got time (or the desire) to listen to and/or put up with that kind of bullshit attitude.  The most common one is people that make the mistake of thinking that when they hired us to do a design, that this somehow translates into having us on retainer for the rest of time to keep fucking around as they engage in a 'stream of consciousness' type of design process.

Renovations and/or additions to existing buildings are classic examples - everyone goes into it with no idea what the existing conditions are.  Whenever possible, I prefer to go out and do my own walk down of a project - including taking copious pictures, sketching my own floor plans (or marking up a set), taking notes, etc.

In the past, I've actually done this on projects where there wasn't really a need to do it.  I ended up being flown to Iowa one time to do a walkdown on a hotel lobby renovation that was a complete no-brainer (it prevented the electrical engineer from having to do it).  It was still a good idea, because you never know when you *might* find things that could result in expensive change orders down the road.

In this case, though, it's a completely new building.  When it's a renovation/addition it's always going to be part and parcel of the gig to have to figure out  how to (or whether you can) make somebody else's dream a reality.  This can often involve slapping the dreaming morons awake and showing them that their existing conditions are *FUCKED*, and that the cost involved with unfucking just one aspect of it far exceeds their optimistic budgets for the whole project.

I've had people accuse me of having a negative attitude when I play devil's advocate - or bring people back around to a little thing called 'reality'.  The problem is that I've watched it play out enough times to know that the 'power of negative thinking' (c) is an invaluable way of making sure that everyone involved actually stops and thinks about what CAN and WILL go wrong if they don't stop assuming 'it will all work out'.

I know I've mentioned a project before where a client had an idea for a building that they were planning on putting on a piece of property, only to find out after the entire design was done that a MUCH larger chunk of change than they had estimated (assuming they allotted any money to it a all) was going to go towards site prep (a 2 million dollar chunk of change to be exact).

This resulted in last second modifications to the building design, and I seriously doubt we recouped much, because they were already damn near broke.  That problem most likely won't come up on my current project, as they've got deep pockets, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least if we end up at the end (or far past the end) of the project, only to find out that nobody (or at least nobody that anyone listened to) noticed some major issue that requires considerable redesign.

In addition to that 'surprise' 2 million site-prep job (which is nothing compared to some projects I've worked on) I've worked on designs for buildings proposed to be built in what turned out to be flood plains, buildings proposed to be built under high-tension power lines, buildings proposed to be built over massive underground natural gas pipelines, buildings proposed to be built over what turned out to be huge sinkholes, properties where the owner didn't understand the concept of setbacks, easements, right-of-way (allowing access to properties behind their property), or access to utilities (what do you mean I can't have the transformer mounted on the hill behind my building?!?).

That's if they have any concept of zoning/codes to begin with - especially in places that have extremely strict limitations on what you can and can't do (that are enforced by people with nothing better to do than hold up projects). It's almost understandable when you are dealing with people who are involved in their first shooting match, but it's totally goddamned unacceptable when it is someone who has been involved with developing dozens (or hundreds) of projects.

As always, fuck Revit, and fuck every one of the programs that Revitards want to drag into their bullshit process to fuck people with.

Fuck.

-Skullfuck

Next Time: Me Am Big Smart


Thursday, February 25, 2021

One Revit Model To Rule Them All

Here I go, on another wild adventure.

My latest project is a massive three-story building (technically four, but the lowest floor isn't that big).

The client is fully onboard with the modern way of doing things - which seems to involve taking what used to be a relatively streamlined process (not without its faults, mind you), and just throwing software at it until your brain literally explodes.

I don't actually have much (if any) contact with the vast majority of our clients - allowing our salespeople to be a single point of contact, because I don't generally need that much input from them to design my systems (and any input I do get is generally wrong).

In this case, we had something of a 'kick-off meeting' and spent the majority of it discussing the process they were using to field comments - using 'Bluebeam Revu' which allows multiple users to access a .pdf, make comments (using a custom toolset that the client created to keep everyone's comments consistent) and which then compiles the comments into a list with the commenters name, who the comment is directed at, what (if any) resolution there is, and dates for each.

The problem is, while you can download a free demo of Bluebeam Revu, a license for it is $332, and while that's not a huge amount of money (I believe that's for a perpetual license) we don't use it for anything else, so I was like 'fuck off'.

During the same meeting they told us that they would have someone get us into all of the other programs they are using, but it wasn't until I started trying to submit my designs (and still hadn't received anything to let me into those other programs) that they finally broke down and gave us access.

We are a sub for our client, who is a sub for someone else - and the actual owner of the project is (rightly) very concerned about the security of the drawings, because it is a fairly sensitive project (not as sensitive as the one the engineering firm in our office took on last year that required them to convert one of the offices into a secure area, but still somewhat sensitive).

This meant that we couldn't use e-mail to send any files - but because nobody had given me access to any of the other systems, I just started encrypting e-mails and sending them - so that nobody could try to claim I wasn't doing my work.

The (very slow) response was to eventually start bombarding me with e-mails to set up accounts for nearly half a dozen different services - and no instructions as to which one they wanted to use for what.  First came 'Box' (basically drop-box, but with two-factor authentication), and so I assumed 'hey - I can submit my shit here!  But no!

They wanted me to submit all of my work through BIM360 (I honestly don't know how these fucktards didn't try to drag us into their Revit model - which would've added yet another layer of dipshittery to the project), so I got set up and submitted one completed set of drawings on a smaller building, and a proposal for a system on the larger one (after I finally figured out how the fuck to even get logged into it - the first time I did, it just wanted to sell me shit).

Then there was 'BIM 360 Glue' (which is some kind of collaboration bullshit), and 'Fieldwire' (which is for jobsite management) - did I mention that each of these services wants to send you daily e-mails to try to sell you more services?  Because they absolutely do until you opt out.

On top of all of this, they wanted to have weekly meetings to discuss... probably more programs?  I don't know - I can guarantee it's nothing that is going to help me get the project completed.  I ended up having to convert .pdfs into CAD so I could even get started, got them all cleaned up, put my devices in - and then found out that it is WAY THE FUCK TOO EARLY FOR ME TO BE WORKING ON THIS PROJECT because they are still trying to finalize floor plans.

I manually tweaked the plans (which fucking suck, by the way - more on that in a second), and will probably end up having to do this multiple times before the project is done.  I don't know how many billable hours the salesman included in the project, but I can absolutely guarantee it isn't enough.  I'm probably going to back off of it for a little while and play catch-up on some other fucked up projects - including one that just came in that is a tenant finish out inside of the tower debacle I previously described.

But before I do that - let's take a quick look at some of the shit these Reviting dumbfucks thought passed for 'quality design work'.  This building is pretty elaborate - with areas that are open to floors above, some areas straight up ARE two stories high inside, and (if I had to guess) it is going to be built into the side of a hill, which is why there is a small lower level, and at least one place on the third floor where you are looking out at the roof of the second floor.

When I started trying to clean the drawings up, I was instantly met with the classic view range issues that I'm used to seeing when morons and Revit meet.  Stacked bathroom blocks showing both bathrooms, fixtures and equipment penetrating walls, showing up on other floors, duplicates pasted in randomly (bringing back memories of screaming at the thing as I desperately try to insert something, only for it to not show up - not realizing that it selected some random surface that I can't currently see to attach it to).

They fixed a few of the more egregious problems when they issued their next set of .pdfs - and it was obvious they had to call in their 'Revit Guru' to help them navigate the quadrillion trillion bazillion view settings - but even then, there are just rookie fuckups all throughout (made even worse by the fact that  they've got multiple disciplines all sharing the same model over 'the cloud', and you never know if they actually spent the decade (or how ever long it takes) to make sure they have everyone's latest and greatest attempts at playing 'catch-up' in the drawings.

All of this would be just hilarious to me if I didn't know for a fact that, despite all of the duplicated effort, wasted time attempting to 'coordinate' by using twelve different pieces of software (instead of, you know, 'talking to people') and trying to model EVERYTHING down to the gnat's ass (I'm not even going to comment on any specific examples of unnecessary 3d fuckery - but be assured, they were copious), they are going to get out in the field, start building this thing, and only then realize how many major fuckups that nobody (or at least nobody that anyone listens to) noticed were still present in their design.

They'll have been showing off the 3D model to the owner to 'ooh and ahh' them, but the people the owner sent to be 'oohed and ahhhed' won't be the ones that actually have any knowledge of how the building will be built, or how they actually need it to function - and it won't be until the building is under construction (or even nearing completion) that they'll come out, inspect it, and go 'hey - what about this thing that we said was very important that we get implemented in the design?' and everyone will go 'huh?'.

 They will repeat 'yeah - we told (insert name of person who was only ever tangentially involved in any aspect of the design) that it was essential that we have the ability to do (insert name of design aspect that would've been simple to implement at the beginning of the design, but devastatingly hard at this phase) - and everyone will be sitting in the ruins of their project, cloud based applications, and other bullshit - and that's when the AHJ will show up and inform them that they've got code compliance issues because of changes that got made at the last second but that didn't flow down through the design.

Oh well.  Fuck 'em.

It's a mugs game.

Until whenever the fuck I come up with something else to bitch about,

-Skullz 'n Fuckz

 P.S. - I knew there was one more program they wanted us to use - I happened to be rummaging through my e-mail to find something else, and ran across 'Kahua' (for Construction Management).  I mean Jesus Fucking Christ people...

Next Time: I've Got Them Bluebeam Blues.