Wednesday, January 9, 2019

IT'S 2019 BITCHES!!!!!

And I'm still not using Revit for anything other than to receive shitty looking drawings like this:

That's right ladies and gentlefuckers - that there is a pair of tables that someone managed to attach to structural elements.  It took me a minute to figure out what was going on because (somehow) part of the chairs had disappeared as well.

This is a fairly common issue that I run across when cleaning up the garbage vomited forth from the Revit dumpster fire.  Entire sections of plans are sometimes obscured by things that are either accidentally dropped into the model (or a linked model), or are intentionally put there, but are supposed to show up at a different level - and someone either couldn't figure out how (or couldn't be bothered to give a shit) about correcting it.

It's never surprising, considering that NASA's TESS satellite has just identified 14 trillion additional view range settings orbiting Revit.  In this case it was fairly simple to fix because there were similar elements nearby that could copied over after deleting the offending linework - but that's not always the case.

The lines that remain after some nonsensical piece of equipment or other element leave a gaping hole in a floor plan can sometimes be used to deduce how it was intended to look, but it can be a crap shoot.  Sometimes I can look at .pdfs of another discipline's plans and infer more information - but more often than not, I have to just make my best guess.

The fact is, nobody is going to build the building from my plans, so they don't have to be perfect.  They are mostly just for installing the systems we are providing (often by our own installers) - but they may have to go through various city/county/state/federal review processes, and I can't submit my drawings with a whole chunk of plan missing.

In cases where some misguided dipshit actually sends us the Revit model itself, we have an opportunity to fix it before exporting (since we have access to Revit through the other firm in our office), but in the time wasted opening a Revit model, watching it start the hour-long process to upgrade to the current version, cancel, then re-open it in the correct version, it can usually just be tweaked in CAD.

In other news - I received a hilarious e-mail the other day about someone wanting us to model some shit for 'collision detection' where 99% of the equipment was actually already modeled by the Engineer that we received the design from.  It wasn't in the original contract, and if they force the matter, I'm going to open their model and dump a huge pile of useless (and massive) families into it, link several dozen useless files to it, and then try to send it back to them in a newer version of Revit than they are using.

Any complaints will be met with serious beatings.

As always, fuck autodesk, fuck Revit, fuck Revitbots/Revitards/Revit 'Gurus', and anyone else selling, marketing, purchasing, using, forcing others to use (or doing end runs around various engineering disciplines in order to require the use of) Revit.

It's 2019 fucksticks - time to get with the goddamn program.


Next Time: ???

Friday, December 14, 2018

Linky Dinky

Que Bueno Verte!

Welp, it happened.  The other firm sharing the building with us that received a 3-day crash course in Revit before sticking their dick in their first Revit pencil sharpener project have hit their first problem that made them come to me (oh sweet irony).

It was ostensibly a simple problem with the files that they received (which, of course, were done in a previous version, requiring them to download and install the previous version).  Whoever had set the drawings up had several linked files that were not coming up due to the links looking for folders on the senders server.

It seemed like a simple enough fix - just update the link locations (same as an XREF - which, in CAD, have the option to set links as 'relative' so that you can send someone files, and as long as the file structure within the folder they dump it into is preserved, the links will work perfectly, not sure if Revit even has this capability).

So we tried it, and after crunching for 15-20 seconds, voila!  'Error - blah blah blah, overlay, blah blah blah' (pretty standard Revit shit).  I left him attempting to open the different files and see if he could figure out how to get the links to work (not unlike how a 'Revit Guru' would throw his hands up and tell a Revit dick socket to 'search online' or  'just fuck with it' to see if they could get it to work).

I went back to my desk and did a few quick searches on 'received Revit file links overlays, etc.' and read a few hilarious attempts at people describing the problems they are having, and the even more hilarious attempts at other people (including some at Autodesk) at interpreting the problem, and offering 'solutions' (most of which didn't actually apply).

It was amusing for a few minutes, but got boring quickly, so I decided to jump into a small voice/data and CCTV project that I had received CAD files for.  I had the project set up and completed in the time it took Revit-boy to download the Revit models that he will most likely spend the next week staring at and rotating as his brain slowly starts to decay.

In non-Revit news - motherfucking Adobe Acrobat DC.  Ah - cloud based entertainment.  I was at my wife's office for lunch the other day, and she was attempting to open a .pdf, but at some point in time an update had taken place on her office machine that was preventing her from doing so.  The best I could tell was that Chrome had updated an extension (or whatever) because .pdfs on her fucking desktop had all changed to a Chrome-ish icon.

Clicking on them would pop up asking for a username/password, and would not allow her to go any further.  She attempted to download a non DC version of Acrobat, but apparently Adobe no longer allows this.  I pulled up a chair and tracked down an older version of Acrobat and 'BAM!!!' she could now open .pdfs (which I reiterate - are on her fucking desktop) again.

I'm sure I'm missing some key piece of the puzzle as to why they fuck a program that ostensibly only exists to open .pdfs is no longer capable of opening .pdfs without logging into 'the cloud', but in reality, there is never any fucking reason to log into any kind of cloud based (i.e. internet based) anything in order to access or open shit that is RIGHT THE FUCK THERE ON MY MACHINE.

I don't want an Adobe account, I already have multiple ways to save documents that I can access from anywhere, and just... go fuck yourself already.

Fuck Adobe, fuck Autodesk, and if these people don't get their shit straight, I'm going to stick the entire 'cloud' directly up their ass.

Hasta Luego!


Next Time: A Whole New Year Of Derpiness.

Friday, November 30, 2018

The Second Annual Derpy Awards

Happy last day of November!

I woke this morning to a comment on a random post that was written in what I guess was supposed to be in Thai, advertising the 'Gangnam Liposuction Clinic'.  After I stopped laughing, I went to hunt it down so I could delete it, but I decided 'fuck it' and left it there, because it is actually pretty funny.

Then I got to work and started looking at a new project that is a renovation of a building that we did previously, but of course the Revit crew just HAD to model it, so now I'm cleaning up yet another garbage set of plans.  It actually started off surprisingly well, but as with most things vomited forth from Autodesk's 'flagship' BIM software, it didn't take long to start noticing some minor (and major) fuckups.

The first thing I started noticing was that some (but not all) of the columns had furred out walls around them that DIDN'T LINE UP WITH THE COLUMN LOCATIONS, resulting in a bunch of stupid looking columns punching through walls.  The funny part is that I'm looking at the old building plans (that were either done in CAD, or if they were done in Revit, they were done by someone with a little more eye for details like that.

I'm just going to leave that shit looking stupid, since it has little to no effect on me (other than my psyche).  It's also amusing that if you overlay this plan over the old one, almost none of the core of the building (which isn't changing) actually lines up.  I would tend to trust the older plans more - since, oh, I don't know, they don't look like unadulterated ASS.

Then it was time for another fun game of 'find the overly detailed family' - which turned out to be this cart:

 That's 48,629 lines to represent a fucking roll-around cart (nearly 14,000 lines per wheel):

 And of course there were two of them (and of course, both were extending into walls), but seriously - who in the fuck ever needs to see that much detail of a goddamned wheel unless you are actually making the wheel?

Once again, I'll take the time to make these plans not suck dick, and laugh, knowing that somewhere, someone issued this garbage as their work product (after spending god only knows how many days or weeks beating it out of Revit.

Anyhow, I'm putting that thing on hold for a while to clean up a .pdf converted into .dwg (since I wasn't able to get some dipshits to come up off of updated drawings for a storage facility that I issued months ago (with the full knowledge that the architect was still fucking with it).  Fortunately all they changed was some of the corridors on the first floor (only one device actually changed on my system).

Unfortunately, the plans are clusterfuck, and took a lot of time to clean up - even when starting with a .dwg exported from Revit.  The converted .pdf is like crap multiplied by crap - but if I keep my head down for a little bit, I'll have it fixed, reissue the drawings, and hopefully put that one behind me.

And as always, it's nice knowing that I don't have to worry about my software fucking me.

So it's a big fuck you to Revit, another big fuck you to anyone using Revit, and a massive FUCK YOU to Autodesk for foisting Revit on the industry and the world.

Go fuck yourself Autodesk!



Next Time: Linky Dink

Thursday, November 15, 2018

All In Together Now!


So I randomly typed in 'Revit Licks Balls' into Google - and ran across the personal blog of someone who had posted here a few times:

He hasn't updated it in a while so my hope is that he managed to find gainful employment outside of the Revitsphere and just left the whole goddamned thing behind him.  Its got some great insight into how fucking retarded Revit, Autodesk, and pretty much everyone involved are a bunch of inbred dipshits that don't understand the industry that they ostensibly 'serve'.

Then I ran across this little gem:

It's only a short couple of quick posts done by someone back in 2011 that pretty much encapsulates the entire Revit experience - slower than fuck, frustrating as hell, and assumes that you already know what the final building is going to look like before you start modeling it (because god only knows what will happen when you start moving stuff around).

They had this cute little cartoon that sums it all up (and has the distinct advantage that the 'Revitworld' frathouse looks almost exactly like my old firm):

Finally I came across this article from 2014 from a guy who managed to complete rid himself of all Autodesk products, and does a fantastic job of explaining exactly what the fuck happened in his industry.  It's more focused on 'Softimage' (which Autodesk acquired), 3DS Max/ Maya/etc. but almost every single thing he says about it could probably be applied to Revit:

But enough of that, now it's time to make fun of the idiots who just sent me a small hotel - including this fucking showerhead:


Oh - and when you put 48 of them into my drawing - that's 207,360 lines (except that many locations inexplicably had two of them - one over the other), so it probably ended up being in excess of 300K lines.

I deleted every single goddamned one, then went about my normal process of cleaning up the garbage infested bullshit that they seemed to think would pass for 'floor plans'.  Tubs that extended into walls, missing countertops, notes/detailing that wipe out parts of walls/fixtures - pretty much the standard nonsense.

Once I get that squared away, I get to figure out what in the fuck the incompetents that laid it out intended (as opposed to what they showed), and it will surprise the fuck out of me if we issue it and they don't come back later having completely changed their design intent (after someone who knew what the fuck they were doing actually looked at it).


Now it's time to say 'Fuck Autodesk' and especially 'Fuck Revit'.

Fuck 'em all.


Next Time: ?!?!?!!?

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Blankety Blank Blank Blank...

Just when I thought Revit was the lowest Autodesk could go - I hear about a 'program' (using that term in the loosest possible context) that has apparently been rattling around in Autodesk's 'portfolio of suites' for the last four years or so called 'ReCap' (apparently short for 'Reality Capture').

It's not surprising that Autodesk could take something with as much potential as 3D Scanning and Photogrammetry and turn it into a cloud-based clusterfuck (that charges 'credits').  A little online searching found more questions about what people were using to replace it with than anything else.

Apparently there was another program called 'ReMake' that was actually functional, and they couldn't have that, so they decided to pop a ReCap in that ass (sorry, I couldn't resist) - and, of course now that everything is 'subscription based', once it's gone - it's fucking gone.

While reading the comments on the Autodesk ReCap forum (which has a terrible format, is slow as fuck, and is just... so fucking packed full of Autodesk staff making false promises and informing users of functionality that is being removed), I got an eerie feeling that I've been here before.

Oh yeah - they are almost identical to Revit forums.

The only difference is that people seem to be a little more united in their derision.  Oh - there are 'true believers' here too, but they seem to be more of the 'please sir, could I have some more' variety than a cult of cock-gobblers with chips on their shoulders.

Interestingly, the last new thread was from an Autodesk employee on 9/20 informing users that 'project cleanup and object mesh' feature has been removed, and the previous dozen or so were also from Autodesk employees (some responding to their own posts).

Scrolling further down you start to see people posting their issues, only to have their questions/concerns replied to with more questions or the classic 'known bug , working on that, maybe in the next relase' type of nonsense that Revit users are so used to.

Considering the apparent breakdown of this forum, it wouldn't surprise me if 'ReCap' itself wasn't being 'ReCycled' into another program so that Autodesk can stop supporting it and sell people another license.

What's especially amusing to me about the whole thing is that the people working in the industry that is driving this type of technology are sinking ungodly amounts of money into equipment, software, and time (just so much time ya'll), in order to reproduce things that already exist in reality.

I can see the point to it, but only just barely - because when it takes more time, money, and mental effort to create the final project than if you just used 3D design software to reproduce it, then what the fuck do you think you have actually gained?  Oh - and if you don't maintain a license, you can't even access your own shit!

I'm a bit cynical - because over the years I've seen so many attempts at automating processes, only to get worse results, or require someone who knows what the fuck they are doing to go out and undo the mess.  It's also frightening, because people who know what the fuck they are doing are getting in dangerously short supply, and people aren't bothering to learn anything from them.

At the risk of sounding like 'the old guy' for just a minute - I'm going to blame it on staring at their goddamned phones and tablets all the time while trying to get out of doing actual work.  It's ironic, because all of these devices we carry around are intended to improve our ability to communicate, but in practice, they are making people more isolated and putting them in echo chambers.

I've seen more get accomplished in a 15 minute meeting with paper and pen than in three weeks of jerking off to the latest and greatest technology.  I'm no fucking luddite, but you can't tell me I'm wrong.  Walk into damn near any engineering office anywhere and peek into conference rooms/offices/cubicles, and you'll see the same fucking thing.

I've seen technology put to good use - but I've also seen it thrown up as a smoke screen of buzzwords and bullshit.

And all I can say is FUCK THAT SHIT.


Next Time: All In Together Now

Monday, October 29, 2018



Welcome to the latest edition of 'Revderps' where we look at yet another embarrasing example of a 'coordinated' set of drawings (that were sadly issued for construction)!  The winner this week is an architectural/engineering firm whose principals are apparently more concerned about adding letters after their names than with actually looking at their garbage output.

Gaze upon this glorious restroom, that through the magic of modern engineering and design, has a spare toilet wedged into the wall of an adjacent storage closet (in addition to having a pair of toilets in each stall for those times when those girls REALLY NEED TO SHIT!!!)


The boys room was no better - with a combination  toilet/urinal stall - I thought this was a mistake at first, but then I realized it was actually a feature for those times when you start taking a piss, think you just need to fart, but then panic and realize that you desperately need to take a shit.

Obviously these little gems were the result of the Architecture team putting their own toilets into their model, then changing the number of stalls (and the size of the bathrooms and adjacent storage rooms) and not bothering to tell anyone.  It was such a ignorant fuckup that I actually didn't even notice the receptacles dangling off in space at first.

Until I saw that, I was almost willing to give whoever the fuck did these drawings the benefit of the doubt, since we are obviously seeing what Revit exported into CAD, and it's entirely possible that it didn't actually go out like that - but now there is little doubt in my mind that this exact clusterfuck (and god knows what else) was issued as is.

Funniest of all was the Civil plan - which was still showing the original stall layouts (since they were using an outdated plan that the 'Revit Gods' never deemed to update).  Now, Civil generally doesn't give a flying fuck about stalls, numbers of toilets, etc. (but they do care about doors lining up with sidewalks, sewer/gas/water pipes lining up with service entrances, etc.).

Hilariously enough (as the Electrical Design guy who fucking hated Revit, and given the opportunity would simply export the Architectural plan and do my work in ACAD) it often fell to me to be the one to notice that the Architects (and M & P) weren't coordinating jack or shit with Civil - despite them being in the SAME FUCKING BUILDING.

I can't tell you how many times I saw wasted effort and last minute runarounds due to this lack of communication (and fucks given).  Unfortunately the people on the Civil team were rather 'civil' (ha) and wouldn't beat an Architect half to death, so it is unlikely that this will ever change.  Even if the Civil team requested a weekly plan update (which would be, just like, so hard to export from Revit guys - you don't even know...) it would almost certainly come down to those last minute changes.

If you've never watched what Civil Engineers/Designers have to put up with - trying to cram buildings, parking spaces, sidewalks, services, setbacks, easements, drainage, water detention/retention, etc. etc. onto properties that are TOO FUCKING SMALL, only to have a Revitard come through like a bull in a china shop - it's really amazing that they are able to hold it together.

On a related note, some Skullfuck fans have been commenting regarding the financial status of Autodesk - which has been shedding employees and closing offices for the last couple of years, seems to be having trouble turning a profit, despite the supposed success of its 'subscription' model (which is going, just, so well guys)

I honestly don't see them going anywhere anytime soon, but there is little doubt that they are inflating their numbers, because no company that is doing as well as they claim to be doing has to resort to the kinds of layoffs that they have had to.  There's also no doubt that they took the big-ass corporate tax-break and bought back at least some of their own stock (as most other corporations have done).

The only thing that will 'trickle down' is shittier and shittier software.

And that's why we say 'Fuck Autodesk', 'Fuck Revit', and if you don't like it 'FUCK YOU!'


Next Time:Cap'n Crock

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Come On In - The Water Is AAAAAAARGH!!!!!

Just another day here in paradise.

So, for the last few days, any time I've been walking past our break room - which has been converted into a temporary Revit enslavement camp (er... 'training center), I've been bemusedly stopping off for a second to listen to what these poor fucking saps that work for the other firm sharing our building are being told about how they will proceed at slamming their dicks in their desk drawers repeatedly for the foreseeable future.

I was surprised to find that the girl doing the training was an actual Revitard (and not just some poor shmuck reading off a power point presentation), and when I finally had a chance to talk to one of the new batch of Revit dick-sockets this morning, he told me she claims to have been using it since the early 2000's (which would predate Autodesk picking it up in 2002).

It sounded a bit questionable - since she didn't look old enough to have been using 3d design software 18 years ago (and I can't even imagine what a mess it would've been at that point).  At any rate, she was able to strap their heads down and get their eyesockets ready for Revit dick insertion - which she did for several days in a row.

The Revit Padawans had this glazed look of 'bleep blorp too much information input bzzzz'  I figured the best I could do was give them a list of things to make sure to ask before they were cut loose.  Supposedly they will have access to the trainer for a little while after she leaves, so when the 14 billion questions they will have (and the other 14 billion they won't even know how to ask) will be summarily ignored.

I let them know that I would be available at any time to laugh and point at them should they run into any issues on their first Revit project (that almost certainly doesn't have enough of a budget or schedule to be done in Revit).

In the meantime, I ran across this beautiful piece of prose: "A Fuckbonnet For Our Time" written by an individual named David Simon to Twitter co-founder/CEO Jack Dorsey (pictured at the top of that link) who (the best I can tell) had his account blocked over one post (#10 out of #18) where he says 'so die of boils @Jack'.

I believe the point he was trying to make was that this glorified message board (that, in the interest of full disclosure, I don't use - primarily due to it being full of what I lovingly refer to as 'twats') has been, and continues to be used, to amplify the voices of racists, anti-semites, and other festering  shit-gibbon denizens of the Interwebs (while generating profits for Dorsey and others).

Having spent considerable time on other message boards, chat rooms, and comment sections - I've seen countless examples of this kind of behavior from everyone ranging from bored kids (who rarely understand what they are saying), trolls (who get their kicks from getting reactions out of people) to full-grown 'adults' who actually espouse the fucked up views they spout online (and/or in real life).

There is often an uneven response to the types of conflicts that arise when the 'true believers' get on a roll - and other well-meaning users attempt to (in Simons' words):"tell the fucker he’s a piece of shit and should die of throat clap" only to find their own comments flagged and accounts blocked/deleted.

Of course, removing even the most disgusting content results in howls of 'censorship' and threats of litigation (while they simultaneously paint themselves 'victims' when people point out exactly what kind of shitty human beings they are).  There's no simple solution, and monitoring the sheer amount of content on sites like this can be a daunting task.

I'm honestly surprised that, despite having heard from a handful of Autodesk fuckheads over the years, I've never actually received any kind of cease and desist threat (it's possible they either view my writing as parody or just another stupid/immature person on the internet that they don't want to give the pleasure to).

Speaking of which - fuck Revit, fuck Autodesk, and fuck anyone buying, using, training people on, or otherwise involved with Revit.



Next Time: The Derpies!