Friday, July 31, 2015

Let's Experiment With Revit!

It's a brand new day - with yet another Revit dick set to hate-fuck your eye-socket!

I might be showing my hand a little bit here, but I just sat through a meeting and several side conversations afterwards regarding how a project is going to be completed in Revit.  I'm not going to get into details, but as with many other projects we've worked on lately, it's an attempt at making it 'easier' for some disciplines (while complicating things for others) as well as allowing us to simplify future projects.

Listening to someone explain the reasoning and processes behind how this project was set up were dizzying both in scope and logic.  It was amusing when another discipline almost immediately pointed out how this new set up was not compatible with the way they needed to do things (as if anybody gives a fuck) but also mind numbing to listen to nearly everyone involved (myself not included) laugh off the (self-admitted) fact that 'this might blow up in our faces'.

Much of this new process was being proposed to battle problems that we had run into on a previous project (ignoring that Revit was what allowed those problems to exist in the first place).  Of course, most of the blame was diverted away from Revit and towards a brand new Revitbot that had inexplicably been allowed to take on a large scale project and made the kinds of inevitable mistakes that any new employee (Revit or otherwise) is going to make.

The difference is that in this case, those mistakes resulted in considerable extra work and the screwing over of everyone involved (including themselves).  Fortunately I was only involved in one aspect of that particular project (that didn't require Revit) so I wasn't directly harmed.  I have probably mentioned this project before though, as it was the one that was done to completion before being completely redone due to nobody bothering to communicate that it was the same fucking project with a new name.

I don't entirely blame the new Revitbot, as they were probably just trying to fight the good fight and get the project completed (and didn't ask to be put in that situation in the first place).  They probably came in the door assuming that everyone would be working together to ensure success, rather than an 'every man for themselves' taken towards how Revit will be used, and how projects will be completed.  Like I've said, they measure their success by other people's failure - all the better if they can praise the Revit while condemning their fellow Reviteer.

If these people were trying to break my sanity, I literally can't imagine what they could do better.  My motivation has been sapped, my productivity has dropped to nearly zero, and all because I can't fathom how anyone involved in the process has allowed things to get so far fucked into a hole in the ground.  I'm incredulous as I think about the sheer volume and diversity of work that I have been able to accomplish at my firm, both before and after the Revitlution - only to find myself struggling to figure out how to even start the next project.

Meanwhile, there are people patting themselves on the back for their 'accomplishments', and managing to take great pride in the half-assed work they have done (despite it also being only a fraction of what they needed to have done).  We find ourselves further hampered by having to revisit projects on almost a daily basis due to mistakes, oversights, and other issues that should have been worked out the first time around (hindered even FURTHER by the fact that they have to fix those problems in Revit.

It's a goddamned circus - and the fucking clowns are running the show.

Fuck Revit,  fuck Autodesk, and fuck every Sanctimonious Motherfucker (TM) to ever set foot on the face of the planet and expose the rest of us to their incompetence and self-importance.

May their suffering be legendary, even in Revit.

Sincerely,
Skullfuck.

(Edit: I was browsing the internet to see if I could find where anybody had made any progress on the multi-tenant front, and ran across a post (from 3 years ago of course) where a useless piece of shit calling himself 'WWHub' berates and insults someone pointing out functionality lacking in Revit:

http://www.revitcity.com/forums.php?action=viewthread&thread_id=26728

It runs the entire standard process from someone asking a question, to self-important motherfucker sticking their diseased cock in everyone's face and waving it around, to the asker finally throwing their hands up.  I will post more if I find them)

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Re-Flexibility

Skullfuckutations,

I don't know how in the fuck anyone expects anything to get done in Revit when it is so goddamned rigid and inflexible.  Sometimes I know exactly what the fuck I want - and I don't need a piece of software telling me how I can and can't go about doing it.  Sometimes I have no fucking clue what I need to do - and then I damned sure don't need a piece of software preventing me from figuring out some compromise between what the client wants (or thinks they want) which as we've discussed can change with the wind (and is often completely at odds with what they can afford), what other people involved with the project want (or think they want) and what NEEDS to be included.

Figuring out that balance between wants vs. needs is the fundamental basis for any complex project - be it your own personal finances/life or an electrical design for a building.  The client WANTS all kinds of crazy shit - and they may even have told you about some of it (or it got filtered down to you by someone else who is giving you their version of what they think the client wants).  First you have to figure out what the other people designing the building are doing - which is probably a mix of what someone has asked for, their own best guesses, and of course - what NEEDS to be included for the project to meet codes, and be functional (much of which was not considered by the owner when they were dreaming it up - and which will drive the cost of the project out of their budget).

At every stage of the game - one thing keeps me capable of balancing these wants, needs, knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns - and that is FLEXIBLE FUCKING SOFTWARE.  More to the point, software that DOESN'T CONCERN ITSELF WITH WHAT I'M DOING - and even more to the point - NOT SOMEONE'S HALF-ASS ATTEMPT AT COMPREHENDING WHAT I'M DOING.  If I run up against some arbitrary limitation or bullshit conception of what I need, it immediately makes me want punch a hole in my screen with the keyboard.  I flipped the damn thing the other day (after attempting to tweak what should have been some simple setting) and left the fucking office for several hours - walking nearly 8 goddamned miles while I thought about what to do.

When I got back, the solution was clear - FUCK REVIT.  Once again, I had reached the limitations of my ability to GIVE TWO SHITS OR A FUCK about this ignorant fucking program and how it wants to drag every single goddamned task out into a several hours long festival of mind-numbing, fist-fucking, back-asswards clusterfucks and 'workarounds'.  I had a project to work on (while juggling several others in various states of clients, city reviewers, other disciplines, and all manner of third-parties that are out of my control), and goddammit, I was going to work on that motherfucking project and get it to a point where I could start hashing out details and get some schematics together.

I spent the next several days putting the hammer down and am now back to the point where I usually am, and that is waiting for other people to get their fucking heads out of the Revit hole and get me the rest of the information I need, so that I can submit complete drawings, so the owner can realize that they can't afford it, so we can 'value engineer', re-design (hopefully at additional cost to the customer, instead of the typical assumption that we've been hired on retainer, and resubmit, so we can maybe turn out something sometime this fucking decade.

I have some of the information (which is almost certainly wrong, incomplete, or some combination of the two), and will most likely change repeatedly throughout the rest of the course of the project, but if I were Reviting along with them - I would be so buried that I would have no chance in hell of being able to accomplish what I need to accomplish in the time remaining after they finally figure out how to get it to spit out what they are so desperately trying to get it to spit out.  The sheer number of details that have to be addressed mean that I don't have time to get stuck fucking with some tempermental aspect of Revit when it decides to go off into space.

To anyone that doesn't know what I do - my resistance to Reviting could easily look like I haven't put in the time or effort to learn how to use Revit (and that's exactly how some cocksucking pieces of shit would like to frame it), but do you know what?   FUCK THOSE PEOPLE.  I remember making the offer years ago for them to sit down for even just a short time and see what it is I am doing, get at least a basic grasp of how many projects I am jugging, and what is necessary to keep them all on-schedule, and the tools I need to design and produce schematics, but was met with a resounding 'we don't really give a shit'.

If any one of the people who expect me to open wide and suck the Revit dick took even an hour to watch me work in Revit, and see the nonsensical pile of bullshit error messages, incapability of the software to comprehend even the most basic concepts, and (my favorite) the inconsistency from minute to minute of what happens when you try to repeat the same process more than once - I think I could start to bring them around.  They might still think it's just a matter of spending time with it, or getting past a few speed-bumps or hurdles - but if given some additional exposure (including seeing the bleak and empty landscape that is attempting to scour the internet for information) only the most hardened Revit apologist would be able to look me in the eye and tell me that I need to be using it.

The most mind-numbingly stupid shit comes from people who think that others HAVE figured out how to overcome all of these problems.  They will point me in the direction of these supposed 'Revit Masters' - whose low productivity is matched only by the shitty appearance of the garbage projects they manage to issue (while I get to pick up all of the slack).  In fact, if anything angers me more than anything else about how I have gone about approaching Revit, it's that I won't allow it to make me and/or my firm fail at the actual task at hand.  If I had simply dove headfirst into the empty Revit pool, and pounded my head into the dry concrete bottom over and over in order to scrape together something resembling a completed project - and not concerned myself with keeping up with both my projects and those that would be left languishing because neither myself nor these 'Masters of Revit' would have time to fuck with them - then the reality of the situation would be laid bare for all to see.

Schedules, budgets, profits - all of these would have been destroyed - and I could have done what all of the other Revitbots do, which is to shake my head and say 'look at me - I'm Reviting as hard as I can in order to stand still (or slowly drift backward)', and pretend to not understand what the fuck is wrong with a system.that breeds complacence, rewards incompetence, and celebrates inanity.

Fuck Revit.  Fuck Autodesk, Fuck all of the lies. Fuck all of the false promises and hopes.  Fuck all of it.

And if you don't like it - fuck you, and here is a bag of dicks, I will leave it up to you how many you choose to eat (after the first of course - because you are eating at least one, motherfucker).

Skullfuckcerely,
S.F.

Monday, July 20, 2015

FUCK EVERYTHING REVIT STANDS FOR!!!

Back in the shitfest again.

I can't go ten seconds in Revit without finding some mindless piece of shit arbitrary limitation, broken functionality, or obtuse user interface fistfuck.

You can literally do EXACTLY THE SAME THING three different times in Revit and get three RADICALLY FUCKING DIFFERENT results - all dependent on how Revit decides it wants to fuck you over at that point in time.  Oh - and just to completely fuck your head up - every once in a while it will do something PERFECTLY - EXACTLY THE WAY YOU WANT IT - but then GOOD FUCKING LUCK reproducing that shit.

I want to shove this entire program, computer, monitor, network cabling, router, server, and at least a portion of the building it is housed in DIRECTLY UP THE FUCKING ASS  of every single GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT responsible for developing, marketing, selling, purchasing, using, propagating, or force-feeding this DILDO INFESTED software from the 9TH CIRCLE OF HELL.

FUCK EVERY GODDAMNED ONE OF THEM!!!

FUCK REVIT.

FUCK AUTODESK.

FUCK YOU.

FUCK ME.

FUCK IT.

FUCK.

-skullfuck

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Everything In Revit Looks Like Shit

Get Fucked.

I am sick and fucking tired of staring at shitty looking Revit models, text, linework, etc. that this fucking 'flagship' program can't even manage to show correctly while zooming.  Shit pops in and out of existence, overlaps, or otherwise becomes illegible unless you zoom way in on it, and at each level of zoom you get different artifacts, blurring, etc.

Half the time I can't tell what the fuck is going on - I've started re-drawing shit because I thought it fucking ate itself, only to zoom slightly differently and have it pop back in.   It generally plots correctly (after you wait for it to fucking plot - slow piece of shit), but goddammit how in the fuck am I supposed to accomplish anything when it inexplicably screws up everything I'm looking at?

There is no excuse - this is shitty program design, and a complete lack of fucks given on the part of Autodesk.  I don't give a fuck if this program 'isn't supposed to be for drafting' or what the fuck ever - it gets used for a variety of tasks, and it needs to be able to accomplish them ALL with some semblance of competence, or it needs to go fuck itself.


There is a massive discrepancy between what Autodesk and the other disciplines I see using Revit (and even some of the people attempting to practice my discipline) need to have in the way of tools in order to accomplish their work.  Maybe other people have managed to overcome some of the many hurdles in Revit to reach a point where it no longer hinders them, and maybe even helps them.

In my experience though - this is bullshit, because they weren't doing what I do to begin with.  Not as quickly, accurately, or as efficiently anyway - and so Revit allows them to drag their feet, point fingers, and create an illusion of competency and productivity.  I've watched it happen, and it's not a pretty sight.

What Revit is, on the other hand, is an excellent way for people who already have an over-developed sense of superiority and entitlement (i.e. - Sanctimonious Motherfuckers (TM)) to revel in sucking their own dicks while they refuse to acknowledge massive holes in both the software they worship and the failed processes they have allowed to develop in it's wake.

Fuck Sanctimonious Motherfuckers (TM) and if you don't like it - FUCK YOU.

Indecipherably,
SkullFuck.



Revitards, Their Retarded Revit Models, And You - A Tale Of Skullfuckery

Fuck Revit and everything it stands for.

I've been watching with barely concealed amusement (mixed with disgust) as yet another project gets drug down into the Revit hole.  Inexplicable amounts of time have been spent by incompetent morons in order to piece together what can barely be considered a shell of a building, leaving the people dependent on having a workable model struggling to fill in the gaps.

As is the case on many of our projects, we have a large amount of information coming from a third party - and, as usual, it is a mess of incomplete/contradictory nonsense that required deciphering before we could even determine what it was that was missing, and even after pointing out the errors, having to wait while this third party struggled to fix/update their drawings.

Of course, this information comes to us in ACAD format - which is still the industry standard for the vast majority of equipment vendors (as well it should be).  Combine the process of pointing out glaring oversights to the people who are supposed to 'specialize' with  Revitards who are unwilling (or incapable) of properly integrating and updating layouts, and it drags the whole process to a stop.

Attempting to contact the equipment manufacturers can often lead to even more questions as the vendors do not provide complete (or even remotely correct) model #'s, and many of the pieces of equipment have so many options (none of which are being selected by me) that the requirements can vary widely.  Their websites also tend to be useless, providing little to no electrical information.

Even once I have managed to verify the actual equipment requirements - determining the location(s) of that equipment becomes a nightmare as they are often tagged incorrectly on the plans (and that's before you get to things changing multiple times throughout the course of a project).  THEN I run into Revit refusing to allow me to place devices where I need them.

This is often because the model is set up incorrectly - and is a mix of actual 3D elements, 2D Revit linework, and inserted ACAD linework.  The irony is that at the beginning of a project (before a Revit model has even been started), we will receive a building layout that would be sufficient for me to do the whole fucking project front to back with nearly zero input from the revit model.

Eliminating the Revit roadblock from the process means I can focus on the electrical design, rather than wasting time trying to figure out what the Revitard has done (or hasn't done).  It gives me complete freedom to do my schematic design instead of fighting tooth and nail to produce a barely passable set of construction documents.

I've mentioned before how coordinating with third-party ACAD files (and thank god they are ACAD files because how the fuck are you going to coordinate with a third party Revit file?) becomes infinitely easier when I can manipulate both the building floor plan and third-party equipment plan, integrating them (along with my schematics) into a seamless set of documents.

They can easily be viewed side-by-side - or layered over the top of each other (without it turning into an incomprehensible mess).  Conflicts can be seen and dealt with, and most important of all - SHIT CAN BE OVERRIDDEN.  I don't personally give a fuck if everyone else's drawings are hopelessly broken, but mine will not be.

These people have shown time and time again that they cannot be relied on to do anything correctly, and I will be damned if I will allow them to fuck me over, force me to have to redo things (any more than I already have to), or suck me down into the hell they have built for themselves.  They can all go fuck themselves.

And if you are responsible for developing or propagating Revit in any way - you can go fuck yourself too.

Sincerely,
Skullfuck.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Revit 'Gurus' Can Go Fuck Themselves

Greetings and Salutations.

Let's get right down to it - the concept of the Revit 'Guru' is a strange one - this is commonly used to refer to someone who has 'mastered' (i.e. masturbated eagerly to) Revit.  The term 'Guru' itself comes from Sanskrit and is used in various religions (Hinduism/Buddhism/etc.) to describe a 'teacher' or 'master', usually one who imparts experiential knowledge to their students.

The term has also been misappropriated by various cults to describe their 'leaders' in order to impart them with a 'mystical' quality - and that's a much more accurate description of the average Revit 'Guru'.  They are the one within any Revit burdened firm that has taken their fascination with sucking their own dick to a whole other level.

Without fail, they will have ingratiated themselves to management (see also: 'Sanctimonious Motherfuckers (tm)'), and set themselves up as the 'go to' for any time Revit decides it wants to shit itself, refuse to do some simple task (that it was just doing a minute ago), or otherwise fuck up, break, glitch, crash, lose information, or corrupt a file.

They can sometimes be useful if you are stuck trying to overcome some herculean task (like putting a receptacle into a drawing), only to have it refuse to show up - even after going through reveal hidden elements, visibility graphics, detail level, view range, cut plane, blah blah blah, on and on, WHAT THE FUCK?, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, GODDAMMIT, etc. etc.

The problem is, you don't want to pull them in until you've tried every single possible thing (so that you can shoot down their attempts to wave their hands with vague references to every single possible thing).  It's a self-defense mechanism on the part of the Revit 'Guru' to be such an utter fucking twat that people will only call them in on a problem as a last resort.

Basically - a Revit 'Guru' is what pops out when you have a whole firm of people wasting their time Reviting and one finally takes it upon themselves to man the helm (and go down with the ship).  They keep the Revit dream alive by pumping it full of drugs and hooking it to various life support machines.

Anything to keep from having to admit what I think most of them already know (and some of them are even willing to admit, if only partially, and only then in private, and even then only after a bit of cajoling), and that is Revit is a stinking pile of shit that fucks over everyone even tangentially exposed to it.

Interestingly, you never hear anyone talk about being Architectural or Engineering 'Guru' - if you want to be an Architect or Engineer you go to school, you put in your time, you pass the tests, and you bust your ass to become one (so that you can put your ass on the line while idiots waste time wanking over new software or technology).

The person who wrote 'Want To Be An Architect?  Don't Learn Revit' article understood this - they knew that a piece of software (even a good one) doesn't define the discipline.  Much less a brain damaged, donkey-fucking, shitfest like the one I've been staring at all morning - which in it's grand 2016 release has the ribbon icons decide to occasionally just FUCKING DISAPPEAR.

Now, most of you know that normally, I'm all for the Ribbon fucking off and disappearing - it's the first thing to go bye-bye in ACAD when I set up a new version, and it's been a dream of mine to make it go bye-bye in Revit as well, but in the meantime it's a necessary evil to be able to access all the bullshit 'tools' and 'features'.

If I'm working along and suddenly my 'tools' and 'features' are now a blank grey field (cycling through 'minimize to tabs/titles/buttons' sometimes brings it back, but eventually it will disappear) then this already totally useless hunk of shit has moved even further into complete and utter EAT SHIT AND DIE territory.

Closing and restarting is the only way I have found to fix it - which, depending on the 'model' you are working in at the time (and how many other people are hammering the server by opening/saving their shitty 'models') can take a couple of minutes - at best.  This is not fucking acceptable - at any level.  The Reviteers just shrug their shoulders though - they are used to banging their heads into useless fucking software.  At this point, you could shit directly into their mouth, call it a new Revit feature, and they would probably believe you.

In closing, and as always, IF YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR PROPAGATING THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU NEED TO FUCK OFF, EAT SHIT, AND DIE PAINFULLY WHILE WATCHING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE BEING BURNED, CRUSHED, AND DESTROYED IN FRONT OF YOU.

Sincerely,
Skullfukd.

Next Time: Maintaining Your Motherfucking Model - BITCH!