Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Skullfucked From The Get-Go

God Fucking Dammit.

Why did I ever capitulate and use Revit for anything?

The projects that I am responsible for are a big enough pain in the ass to begin with - inserting a 1/4 assed piece of software into the mix has damn near cost some people their lives.

 I keep on asking myself why oh why didn't I sabotage the living shit out of this software?  It was already making a lot of people frustrated, angry - and even its most ardent supporters would admit it was slow and buggy (especially at the beginning).

Part of the problem was that no matter how many problems they seemed to have with it, they were bound and determined to drag the remaining pieces of their broken down jalopy across the finish line, despite the sun going down, the moon coming up, and long ago someone else left with the cup.

Sabotage would have required some pretty extreme measures (and a lot of care not to get caught), but regardless of how many Revitbots might have been willing to spend 12 hours a day overcoming the normal obstacles in Revit, only to spend another 6 hours overcoming the roadblocks I had thrown up - it would eventually reach a tipping point.

My agenda (prior to realizing that these people were all fucked in the head) was never to eliminate Revit - only to set some ground rules.  I FUCKING KNEW that the second that these already flighty motherfuckers were allowed to take off in whatever goddamned direction they pleased, that it was going to be clusterfuck upon clusterfuck - and sure enough.

If they wanted to bumfuck themselves into oblivion with their shiny new toy, then more power to them - as long as they fucked off, and gave me something concrete to work with - instead of the ever-shifting sands of a shitty 'design' modeled by incompetents and then hurriedly patched up at the last second by someone who (hopefully) knows what the fuck they are doing.

I mentioned that even the most hardened Revit Dicksockets were willing to cede the point that it takes WAY longer to do just about every fucking thing - and that additional hours would be necessary.  Some of this additional time was offset by the customer - who was either getting the dubious 'additional value' of a Revit model, or actually showed up requesting one (although almost never as a deliverable).

At the end of the day - I seriously doubt that the additional time spent (both in overtime, time that could have been spent on other projects, and most importantly - time that could have been spent working out all of the details in a fucking project, instead of STARING AT A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE WHILE IT HATE FUCKS YOUR EYESOCKETS). 

And that's before you get to the frustration, decline in quality of life, inability to concentrate, and of course - looking like a fucking idiot to people who aren't using the software, don't understand what is wrong with the software (that guy has foregone seeing his family in the evenings and weekends and is using it - why can't you??)

Fuck this shit.

Fuck Revit.

Fuck these people.

And if you don't like it - FUCK YOU!!!

Friday, July 11, 2014


That's right motherfuckers - I've managed to crank out 100 entire posts while being fucked repeatedly in the ass by Revit and it's merry gang of chucklefucks!!!   Woo-fucking-hoo!!!  This is actually  quite the accomplishment, considering that the first three drafts of this post either spontaneously combusted or imploded due to the sheer amount of 'fuck' contained in them.

I think it's fair to say that Revit is just as shitty today as the day I started posting here - with any 'fixes' or 'new features' either not affecting my discipline, or being more useless bullshit rather than addressing the major issues with basic functionality.

It's also fair to say that the people with their faceholes (and other orifices) filled with Revit dick continue to be one sad, deluded bunch of donkey-fucking motherfuckers. 

It was fitting that right around the same time I was getting ready to celebrate my 100th post, I had some people decide that the problem with Revit is that we didn't sit around and talk about it enough - and that we should get together and compare notes.

The guy running the show doesn't use Revit, and knows he doesn't know what he is talking about - so he defers to other people (who don't know what they are talking about), and I was amazed how almost the exact same questions, problems, confusion, etc. came up now that came up in similar (if not identical) meetings 5-6+ years ago.

Nobody knows how to use it, everybody is flailing wildly and screwing everyone else over in the process by taking off in their own direction, with no standards, no concern for the process, and EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME it ends up coming down to the last second (if not days afterward) as people hustle to fix all of the fuckups, half-ass bullshit, and complete nonsense that Revit shits out - even when put in the hands of competent people (never mind what it does when it is manned by a fucking idiot, which the vast majority of Reviteers are).

Needless to say, after that little fiasco, I didn't get jack shit done for the rest of the day.  Every time I would try to concentrate, I would see these people's fucking sheep faces and hear their inane questions and comments grating against the inside of my skull.   The post I attempted to write that day is now in a decaying orbit around some obscure star in the Crab Nebula from when it went fuck critical and blasted off into space, leaving me to have to start from scratch(again).

I have made considerable progress in the time I've been doing this - but it has been an uphill battle the whole fucking time.  Revit doesn't have a 'learning curve', it has a ditch that everybody is stuck in while they try to convince themselves that 'ditches are the future' and 'if you don't drive into the ditch, you won't work in this field anymore'.

Fuck every single motherfucking one of the people continuing to perpetuate the Revit lie.  They can die choking on their own fucking shit.

Next - Revit 101 (An Illustrated Introduction To Revit Dick Face-slapping)