So High I Have To Look Down To See The Cloud

Shazbot!

I know it's probably a little silly to complain about web-based applications while using a web-based application that stores my information... someplace...  but for the last three days we've been unable to use the software that some genius determined was the best choice for managing all of our project/time tracking, billing, etc. thanks to an 'update' that has left the system completely non-functional.

We started receiving messages that the system would be down for 'maintenance' a while back, and sure enough, when the day came, it was down.  Then it was down the next day, and another.  Now, if this were a piece of software running on our server, maintained by our IT people, we would simply have drug them out from in front of their Linux boxes and told them to do their fucking jobs - or be beaten with blunt objects.

As it stands, someone, somewhere, with no vested interest in helping us (or preventing blunt force trauma to their faces) is dicking around, with god knows what, for god knows how long.  Attempts at contacting them resulted in the standard runaround - starting with 'we're getting it back up ASAP', to 'here - try this non-functional link that we tried to make as a workaround'.

They FINALLY get around to fixing whatever was keeping us from being able to log on, but they've apparently discontinued support for Microsoft Explorer (which I have no love for, but I liked have a dedicated browser shortcut that took me straight to the login.  No problem though - I just switched to using Edge (which I had avoided like the plague).

I even used an online icon maker to upload an image of the software companies logo and used it for the shortcut, so it's easy to find - but oh my god is it slower than shit now (same on Firefox and Chrome).  They made the interface a little prettier, which is probably part of the reason it's so fucking slow - but I was able to get everything done that I needed to.

Now I get to waste my time doing a more detailed version of a detail that I already have done (on a project that I could issue today as soon as I complete some calculations - but that will probably take at least another day).  Basically, we are showing a block diagram of all of the devices in the system on the circuits they are on (more or less just a duplicate of my floor plans - sans floor plans, and in a more orderly fashion).

What this client wants (and has gotten in the past) is a point-to-point wiring diagram showing every single goddamned wire connection to every single goddamned device in the building so that even an idiot could understand it.  Normally I'm all for idiot-proofing things, but in this particular case, if someone doesn't already know how to wire these devices, they have no business being anywhere the fuck near these kinds of systems.

I've probably mentioned it before - but in the past, when I was designing electrical distribution systems (and avoiding Revit like the plague) there was a certain amount of deference to what we called 'means and methods' on the part of the electricians who would install the systems I was designing.

The assumption was that the electrician already knew how to electrician, and didn't need their dick held for them.  Obviously, this wasn't always the case, but as long as we got our design intent across, and our specifications addressed all of the necessary situations, then they could go out and install everything based on their professional skills and knowledge.

Now.  There would still be the occasional project where some dickless fuck (often a Revit using dickless fuck) would get involved, couldn't grasp the concept of 'partially schematical drawings' and would start requiring us to provide unnecessary levels of detail (without, of course, paying the requisite fees for said unnecessary levels of detail).

For example - I would always coordinate with our civil engineering team to make sure my service entrance conduits/equipment were located in accordance with all local codes, did not interfere with other systems (such as water/sewer/drainage/etc.) and in most cases, the utility company and/or electricians would install it exactly as shown.

On the other hand - when showing wiring within the building, a schematic was sufficient to show circuits, switching, etc. - and the electrician was responsible for determining the best, neatest, and/or most efficient way to route conduits throughout the building.  Some people couldn't grasp the concept that if we did show all of our conduits - and they got out in the field and found that (for whatever reason) the conduit could not be run as shown, it would result in a costly change order.

Unfortunately, that wouldn't stop them from trying to suck us into the hell that mechanical engineers are forced to endure when it comes to showing systems like HVAC and plumbing that DO require extensive levels of detail and coordination in order for them to function - or that structural/architectural needed to show for their systems/buildings to be built properly.

Anyway, for this client, redundant levels of detail is what they do.  It wastes everyone's time - especially when they start making (typically unnecessary) changes and they have to flow through all of the layers of detail - so instead of taking five minutes to update a set of drawings, it will take several hours (and guarantee something will be missed).

Having it automated seems like it would be a dream come true - but in the whole time I was exposed to Revit, I never once saw someone design an 'automated' system that didn't break after even minor modifications were made to it (often at the very last second - resulting in a lot of manually filling out schedules, sketching things in 2d, or otherwise 'faking it in' out of desperation.

As always, the problem tended to be that the claims made by the software 'developer' about their program's ability to be fluid enough to handle changes were undermined by the fact that they could not predict the kinds of changes that would be made - often way beyond the time that major changes should be being made, which would cause problems for anyone, regardless of what software they were using - but which were exacerbated by the fact that everything was so relentlessly interlocked.

Demonstrations would show how adjustments could be made, and other things would 'magically' update - but these were obviously very carefully orchestrated and tested 'cut scenes' rather than reflecting the 'in game' reality (to borrow a gaming metaphor).  In reality, these interlocking systems are delicate, temperamental, and rarely (if ever) respond well to random changes.

It's one of the reasons why it's difficult for someone who doesn't have experience to design and modify these types of systems as they evolve - because a seemingly minor change to a floor plan can actually have catastrophic effects on the design of other systems.  I would always joke that if they moved (or deleted) a wall - it was going to be the linchpin of the entire fucking design.

While I might be able to salvage most of the layout, I would have to make decisions based on what was going to be the fastest fix, rather than what would've been the best choice if the changes to the layout had been made prior to me starting my design.  For example, the project I am wasting my time detailing out consists of two quonset hut style buildings - one is a 90K s.f. building (768' long), while the other is about half the size.

We designed both, but it turned out that the first one had been being constructed, and conduits/junction boxes had already been installed (much of it in-slab), based on an inferior design from someone who obviously had zero experience designing these types of systems - so we had to go back and modify our design, resulting in it being retarded and inefficient - and if I had designed it in Revit, I would be FUCKED.

Instead, it only took a few hours of thought and sketching in CAD to give the salesman something to take back out and review on-site, get approval, and then a few more hours to complete (with the exception of the stupid point-to-point connection diagram - but even that will only take a little while). 

Relentlessly,

-kullfuckS

P.S. - I just read last night about Autodesks dismal quarterly earnings.  The first article I read was trying to downplay it, but the next laid it bare.  As always - Fuck 'em.

Next Time: The Derpth Annual Revderps Award

Revit Prison Planet

Welcome!

So, the latest project I've been tasked with is a massive maximum security prison complex.  Well, at least I was for a few minutes, when I was pulled off to handle an emergency tenant finish-out, which they needed by tomorrow, so I issued it today (since I didn't have to wait for two hours for the shell building that we did to convert to the latest version of Revit).

Then it was back to prison (which I was able to jump right back into because it didn't take 20 minutes to load up).  What it did take was a little bit of time to figure out what the first guy who started cleaning up the drawings had done.  The first thing I noticed was that he had kept the copious amounts of ductwork shown on their drawings (he put it on a layer that would shade it, but there was just WAY too fucking much of it (and it makes the .pdf set that I got from the engineer look like unadulterated shit).

Part of the reason they were leaving it was that there are a number of fire/smoke dampers throughout the building - but these can be shown without having to leave ALL of the ductwork on, so it ALL went bye-bye.  Then I started going back and fixing all of the fuckups on the floor plans themselves - of  which there were many.

The first thing I noticed was that a number of doors appeared to be missing - but it turned out they were just on a layer that was inexplicably turned off (unfortunately while off, the other guy moved the plans - leaving the doors and some other items floating in space - or overlapping other plans).  Some quick adjustments and I had it back on track.

Then it was on to the standard removal of various headers, structural elements overlapping and wiping out sections of plan, and general 'prettying up' that I like to do so that my plans don't resemble the result of work done while buttchugging flat champagne mixed with expired rave drugs.  That's when I noticed that there are entire sections of plan that (for one reason or another) are doubled-up.

When I say 'doubled up' I mean that there is one set of plans overlapped by another set of plans (but offset *just a little bit*).  It seems to occur in the same part of the plan on multiple levels, so it's either view range fuckups that are allowing me to see the pans above/below the floor I am on - or someone accidentally angled the walls in this part of the plan so I'm actually seeing lines showing the top and bottom of the wall.

Neither of those would be that surprising - and the only trick to fixing it is figuring out which ones are correct, and which ones to delete.  I'll probably just make my best guess and tweak it where necessary

After discussing the project with the guy who sold it - it turns out all we are doing is a one-for-one replacement of all of the existing devices and reusing existing wiring (not that I would've known that based on the tiny amount of information I was given going in).  Oh - and this, despite the fact that it doesn't even remotely meet code - although the AHJ may be giving them some wiggle room, since the place is manned by guards 24/7.

The salesman said he attempted to sell them on the same kind of facility management system that we designed for the massive project I just got through designing, but they turned it down.  Not strictly because of cost though, but (in their words): 'some of their guards are as bad as the inmates when it comes to messing around with stuff'.

I could definitely see opportunities for a bored guard to screw with his buddies by remotely setting off fake alarms and laughing as everyone ran around trying to figure out what was going on.  Honestly, prison guard would be one of the most boring jobs imaginable - but with the constant danger that one of the inmates (who are bored, and most of whom have nothing to lose) will decide to attack you.

That, and the occasional prison riot.

I hear the train a comin'
It's rollin' 'round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine
Since, I don't know when
I'm stuck in Revit Prison
And load times keep draggin' on
But that train keeps a-rollin'
On down to San Antone

When I was just a Revit newbie
My Mama told me, "lad
Always be a good boy
Don't ever play with CAD"
But I deleted a man's model in Reno
Just to watch him die
When I hear that hard drive spinnin'
I hang my head and cry

I bet there's CAD folks eatin'
In a fancy dinin' car
They're probably drinkin' coffee
And smokin' big cigars
Well, I know I had it comin'
I know I can't draw free
But those people keep a-movin'
And converting models tortures me

Well, if they freed me from this Revit
If that railroad train was mine
I bet I'd move it on a little
Farther down the line
Far from Revit Prison
That's where I want to stay
And I'd let that lonesome whistle
Blow my Revit blues away

(Apologies to the late, great Johnny Cash)

-ullfuckSk

Next Time: Cloud With A Chance Of Bullshit

Pure Revit

Party Time!

I just finished a massive project for (redacted) that involved replacing an existing facility network with a more robust fiber-optic network dedicated to the systems that I design.

Over 100 buildings, now linked together - with the ability for any building to report issues to a handful of manned locations on-site (or remotely) - down to which device is reporting back.

Now it's back to dealing with another massive project where (in the time in between when we issued it and now), they refuse to stop changing shit and bringing in even more people to try to find ways to justify their paychecks by suggesting even more changes.

Fortunately I've already solved the first problem on the list (which was the one I was the most concerned about), but unfortunately there is another one with the potential to crop up, and it has all of the tell-tale signs of being a knee-jerk reaction from someone whose installers were making excuses to cover up their own incompetence.

We use the same system of tagging circuits on every single project we do, and while most of the projects are installed by our own people, we have never had a single project come back where the installers couldn't easily figure out what our design intent was, and how to run the wire.

Enter the dumb fucks that are installing this project - and they want us to go back through and hold their hand by color-coding the whole damn set (despite the fact that they would then need to plot the whole damn thing in color in order to be able to see them, and the fact that it's TOTALLY FUCKING UNNECESSARY!!!)

If we do end up doing it, it will be at massive cost to their client (which may dissuade them from pursuing this idiotic course of action - but at the same time, they have pretty deep pockets).  As always - if they want to pay us a huge amount of money to do something retarded, then we'll do something retarded (and their installers will STILL fuck it up).

In the meantime, someone referring to themselves as 'architaki' commented a previous post (Just Add Stupid) about some site offering Revit 'training' called https://revitpure.com/

I spent a little time flipping around on their very basic looking website (although I am a fan of websites that focus on function over form - rather than having to load massive image files and require the use of glitchy buttons and pull-down menus), and it appears to be somebodies attempt at providing a streamlined approach to learning and applying Revit.

Of course, as soon as you start drilling down, you quickly realize this is actually somebodies attempt at bilking Revitards for cash.  They offer a magic template for $100 (a steal, since some places charge between $5,000-$20,000 for custom templates, ya'll), as well as other tools for making what is supposed to be Autodesk's flagship BIM solution into a functional piece of design software (basically admitting right off the bat that it's useless as FUCK right out of the box).

I clicked on 'design' and was immediately dying laughing at their description (cut and pasted verbatim below:

-----------------

USE REVIT TO SEDUCE YOUR CLIENTS

Revit doesn’t have to be bland and boring. This package will teach you highly effective seduction techniques that will seriously turn on your clients.

 ----------------

Because giving your client a big ol' hard-on (or a lady hard-on) is the sure fire way to soak them for the extra cash necessary to spend the next three months modeling a building that could've already been designed, reviewed by the applicable AHJ's, constructed, and occupied.

Their 'blog' has comical attempts at helping you with 'wall joins':

"You need a lot of patience not to get triggered by the bizarre, diagonal, odd-shaped default joins that Revit will propose to you by default"

But don't worry - they've 'got you covered' (since Autodesk obviously has no fucking idea what they are doing).

 I'll be honest, since I've never used Revit for architecture (and will never use it for anything else), this site might actually constitute something useful for someone whose balls (or lady balls) are being slammed in the Revit drawer - but I seriously fucking doubt it.  My money is on it being yet another attempt at cashing in on the Revit 'craze' - both by propagating it, and then trying to sucker the poor fools being taken for a ride out of even more money.

But as I always say - fuck those poor fools.  They deserve every damn thing they get.

Fuck Autodesk, fuck Revit, fuck Revitards, and if you don't like it - FUCK YOU!!!

llfuckSku

Next Time: Revit Prison