Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Revit Can Suck My Fucking Asshole

There is only one thing worse than having Revit shitting all over my work - and that is having other people coming to me for help when it shits all over theirs.  It might seem amusing that I (being the go-to guy when it comes to all things involving telling Revit to go fuck itself) would be allowed anywhere near the people they are attempting to hook up to the Revit suck-hole, but that seems to be the way it is.

We recently hired one guy who was a re-hire from a different discipline (he has some Revit experience - but zero Electrical) and another new guy who has had some exposure to both Electrical and Revit.

I have actually learned quite a bit about Revit while doing this on-the-job training - all of it disturbing.  While walking them through step by step - I found even more ridiculous limitations, arbitrary hard-coded settings, and patently ludicrous attempts by the designers/programmers of this shit-ware to comprehend both the Electrical Engineering discipline and the needs of Electrical Designers.

While I relish any chance to slap Revit upside the head with my dick, it gets a bit pointless to explain the ridiculously convoluted process they have to go through in order to accomplish shit, and then proceed to have a lengthy conversation that devolves into 'why is Revit so obtuse and counter-productive?'

The fact is, Revit is obtuse and counterproductive for one simple reason - NOBODY FUCKING GIVES A SHIT.

I keep hearing claims of how it is allowing people to do things faster - without any evidence to support these claims.  Maybe they can do *more* (read: unnecessary) things, so they get the illusion of being 'more productive' when in reality their productivity has dropped to near zero, leaving everyone to have to scramble at the end of a project to actually get anything even resembling completed construction documents.

I'm looking at a project right now that a former employee (the one that came into my office in tears after an Architect reamed her for not Reviting to his satisfaction) worked on before she got the fuck out of this retarded fucking mess (can't blame her).  She had pretty much completed it - but then it got put on hold for a year+, and now it's back.

I attempted to open it in Revit 2014 (the version it was done in) but, of course, the Architect has already updated their model to 2015, requiring me to close out, re-open and wait while it converted to 2015 - and then wait for another half an hour for the mechanical drawing 'temporarily convert', just so I could find out that (of course) they've made extensive changes to it.

Deleting walls, redrawing walls, widening the building, inserting rooms, re-purposing rooms, etc. etc. (and that's before you get to how they've relocated the building on the site, leaving the electrical room in a completely nonsensical location in relation to the electrical service) - and the problem is, even after seeing the resulting clusterfuck - my boss is still under the impression that it is 'pretty much done' because he doesn't comprehend how fucked Revit really is.  He doesn't use it (and shouldn't have to), but over time the Revitbots have been slowly working their way into his brain.

Any real set of software would have been improved by now, and I'm sure it's difficult for him to comprehend that the Electrical portion of Revit is still wallowing in development hell - even after release after release, broken promise after broken promise. Also skewing his perspective is a proto-revitbot on our team that has been allowing himself to get fucked repeatedly (and the re-hire who doesn't know electrical but has Revit instead of a dick).

Keep in mind - other than the occasional off-hand complaint (echoed by the proto-revitbot - who admits multiple shortcomings in the software) I don't sit and whine about Revit to my boss. I just do my work, whether in Revit or in ACAD (usually in ACAD), and could give a fuck what he or anyone else at our firm thinks.

This is probably true of a lot of people getting raped by Revit - they know better than to be 'the guy who complains'.  Unfortunately, if nobody complains, then everybody gets the false impression that things are working smoothly - and I can assure you that's the furthest thing from the truth.

Everyone responsible for 'developing', marketing, selling, licensing, buying, using, masturbating to, or propagating/perpetuating the Revit myth need to go fuck themselves before I drag them screaming behind my vehicle on the way to their homes to rape and kill everyone they love or care about, and burn everything to the fucking ground.

Fuck every single fucking one of you - you will suffer, bleed, and die.

Yours Truly,