Monday, June 26, 2017

Still Not Convinced To Choke On The Revit Dick?

Que Onda Skullfuckarinos?

I was just flipping through some of the nonsensical garbage on the AUGI site when I ran across this extensive buzzword laden screed from human dildo 'Jay Zallan' that literally sounds exactly like the 'drink the kool-aid' bullshit that was being hurled at the architecture/engineering community over five years ago when I first started the Revit MeP Skullfuck:

The saddest part is the fact that it was written (or at least posted) in August 2016 and seems to be yet another in a long line of attempts to convince people that the way they've (successfully) been doing things is WRONG and that BIMming the Revit way is the only way - I mean, how stupid or set in your ways do you have to be to not understand this?

He goes through the same fucking litany as his predecessors (although I seriously doubt this is his first time chastising everyone who isn't him).  BIM is the future (but isn't software - or a process), Revit is the best, ACAD sucks, people who want to keep using ACAD are 'addicted', comparing CAD holdouts to those who were resistant to switching from hand drafting to computers, opining the fact that if everyone would just be on 'the team' (yay team!) then OMG ya'll - everything would just be rainbows and sparkle ponies!!!

If he weren't on the same condescending power trip as every other Revitard out there, some of his suggestions about how to go about transitioning a firm to BIM/Revit would be adorable.  He's careful to distinguish it as a 'revolution' (ironically - from the Latin 'revolutio' meaning 'to turn around', which certainly describes Revit) as opposed to an 'evolution' (which could indicate growth/progress). Some of his suggestions are actually quite good (if not a tad unrealistic) but are all subverted by an undying devotion to what he views as 'The Way'.

It's also telling in how quickly he dismisses his 'holdout' strawman's concerns about whether or not things can be done in 'BIM authoring software' (by which he exclusively means Revit), the appearance of tags/notes/etc. (because how dare you question how Revit WILL make your drawings look?) and then starts doing the Revit self-suck by insulting the intelligence, experience, and dedication to productivity of those who see through the smokescreen.

I think I've made this analogy before - but I could see this guy strutting into an automobile repair shop with a handful of adjustable wrenches and telling the mechanics that they no longer need a box full of different sized wrenches and sockets.  He would talk endlessly about how 'adjustable wrenches are the future of mechanic work', dismiss any concerns about the (obvious) problems, insult anyone who refused to comply, and disregard demonstrable limitations to the tool he has so graciously bestowed upon the lowly peons (who are responsible for productivity/profitability).

After taking away the rest of their tools, he would occasionally catch one trying to put an extension/socket that they snuck in on a bolt that the wrench cannot reach, and then turn it with the adjustable wrench - at which point he would say 'huh... they shouldn't put bolts where an adjustable wrench can't get on them - see if you can do the job without taking that bolt off'.  Right about then, another mechanic would yell for the third time that morning as the wrench slipped, rounded off the bolt, and resulted in him busting his knuckles (four hours into a job that should've taken ten minutes).

He would then proceed into the manager's office to tell them that in order for the shop to be 'transformed', that it will be necessary to figure out what goals are truly desired (as long as those goals are in line with his 'adjustable wrench only' policy), then to 'create plans intended to accomplish those goals', and finally 'commit to and complete the necessary actions in those plans'.  Oh - and the jobs still need to be completed on time (wrenches down!).

Fuck this guy - and every self-centered fuckfaced idiot out there like him.  Fuck Autodesk, Fuck Revit, Fuck 'BIM', and If You Don't Like It - FUCK YOU.

Next Time: The Saddest Set Of Electrical Drawings Ever Shat Out Of Revit

Monday, June 12, 2017

Revit 2018 MeP is 'Path-etic'.

Fuck You And The Revit You Rode In On Bitch!!!

It's that time again - 2018 Revit has been out for a couple of weeks, just long enough for dumbfucks to start installing it and fucking over anyone who had a project to complete, but are now are having to deal with god only fucking knows what.

Literally the only 'electrical improvement' that I could find on any of the various dipshit lists that faggots make of this ignorant-ass shit was something reader 'Hysteresis' had already mentioned regarding being able to manually edit the circuit path.

First off - why the fuck couldn't you always manually edit the circuit path?  Although, in reality - who gives a shit?  Nobody is going to fucking install the goddamned conduit the way you show on a design (and how many extra goddamned drawings are you going to have in your set to show every 3d conduit elevation, etc.?!?!)

As always, the 'partially schematical' set of drawings is what will get issued (and trust me - no contractor is going to waste their time with your shitty model), and conduit routing will be part of the Electrical Contractors 'means and methods'.  Getting a rough idea of how long a circuit is going to be can be helpful in calculating voltage drop (and thus wire size) , but I wouldn't trust Revit to calculate a tip.

I issued hundreds and hundreds of projects over the 12+ years I was doing Electrical Design - calculating voltage drop for countless loads, and thanks to having tools that I could trust not to fuck me - I never once had one come back with problems.  Now in my current job, I have tried and true spreadsheets to allow me to easily enter loads and calculate voltage drops as well.

Never once have I been doing a design and thought to myself 'you know what would make this easier?  Having a program of questionable quality that requires me to do more work in order to 'save time and effort - and that might fuck me over at any time'.  We actually had some guy contact someone at my office trying to foist some software that they developed that is specific to the types of systems that I design now, but after looking over what they had to offer, it didn't intrigue me in the least.

The fact is -any effort I expend that could be automated is more than made up for by the fact that simply by being that involved in every aspect of the project, I'm going to catch every mistake, contradiction, or oversight made by the people who did the initial design/pricing.  As I've mentioned on multiple occasions, at my previous firm, there was almost no end to the major fuckups that I would find in other disciplines work - simply because I was ACTUALLY LOOKING AT THE SHIT.

Add to that the irony that these fuckups were all coming from the very same people telling me how great it feels to apply the set of electroshock nipple clamps that is Revit.

I just finished another spectacular design - a 45,000 s.f. rehab facility (the one where they tried to foist a Revit model off on me), and I probably spent as much time cleaning up their wack floor plans as I did doing my schematics and details.  Oh, and in between starting and completing it - I pulled off and completed a 230,000 s.f. parking garage project (that included some fairly extensive rework of an existing fiber-optic network.

It's just... fucking amazing how much shit I can accomplish without Revit.  Even more amazing is the improvement in my overall well-being when there no expectation that I ever start using it.  I've got a few other systems to finish up on a roughly 90,000 s.f. assisted living facility - then I'm going to be diving headfirst into completion of a massive set of drawings that I inherited to do 'as builts' for on a huge power plant renovation.

The set consists of over 200 goddamned drawings (and associated conduit/wire/device schedule spreadsheets - required by the owner).  The reason for the sheer number of drawings is primarily because (while they weren't using Revit at least) the people who originally did it were stupid as fuck. It would've been a formidable undertaking for anyone, but a little common fucking sense at the beginning of the project could've kept things consolidated, and much easier to keep track of.

The main reason I took it over was that the contractor is pretty much stuck at the job site (and a rather large sum of money is tied up) until the project is finalized, and the dipshits responsible for generating hundreds of sheets were taking weeks to slog through what I can do in days.  I've worked with the same contractor on a generator building at a nuclear facility - and they were blown the fuck away by how responsive I am to their needs, and the quality of my work.

And, to reiterate - none of it involved having to fuck around with Revit, because FUCK REVIT.




Next Time: Apologetic Apoplectic.

Monday, June 5, 2017

How Many Notes Would a Keynote Key if a Keynote Could Key Notes?

All the Revit Shit That's Fit To Fucking Print.

So I'm kicking ass and taking names - when I see a comment from reader 'Christopher Lord' pop up.  Apparently he was running into issues with Key Notes (not surprising considering that Revit has had issues with Key Notes not working properly ever since Revit has been a thing).

Some quick googling came up with a 'known issue' (it's always a 'known issue - and Autodesk is totally working on it man...) with Key Notes disappearing when upgrading from 2016 to 2017 (no big deal there right?).  At my previous firm we would usually come in one day to find that some dipshit had saved the Revit file to the newest version, meaning that we got to jump feet (and dick) first into the newest version.

So there you are, job almost ready to kick out, and BANG - keynotes are fucked.  You google it, praying to whatever god you believe in that somebody has found some kind of 'workaround' (maybe involving adjusting one of the 1/4 trillion plus view settings).

Hell yes - there it is!  Someone describing exactly the problem I'm having, complete with a simple workaround! We're saved!!!  Oh wait - it isn't working.  Ok - breathe, back to google.  Another hit!  Oh... it's just someone begging for a solution - and someone else 'helpfully' pointing out that it's a 'known issue'.

One of the funniest I ran across was a guy saying that 'this issue has shaken my love for Revit to the core':

That's what you get for having love for Revit you dickless piece of shit 'DMapes'.  It fucks you directly in the ass.  If I had time to waste, I could probably find where this guy had berated other people who were forced into Reviting and were running into fucked up problem after fucked up problem for not sharing his 'love'.

I've read countless instances of people leaning on Revit - putting all of their trust into it to do right by them, only to have it fail miserably.  The fact is - YOU CANNOT TRUST REVIT.  It's a fucking lie - propagated by people operating off of what is called the 'sunk cost fallacy'.

Basically, if you are a firm, you've spent literal shit-tons of money to buy Revit licenses, upgrade computers, servers, networks, etc. to handle it, had it eat profits as your employees struggle to figure out how to force the goddamned thing to shart out a passable set of drawings (and even more if you wasted money on 'training'.

If you are a user - you've spent god only knows how many hours beating on Revit, fucking with settings, watching stupid videos, reading stupid blogs, hunting the internet for shreds of information on how to make this goddamned thing work as advertised - and watched as projects that should've been cranked out in days take weeks, months, or even years as teams of Revitards all shit on and/or fling shit all over each other.

There's a point you reach where you won't (or can't) admit that it's fucked - because rather than the blame falling squarely on the shoulders of the ones churning out the garbage software, it's been you - pushing yourself (and others) off the cliff, swearing the whole time that 'it gets better'.

Supposedly the 2017.2 version fixed the Key Note problem (again - since this isn't the first time this shit happened - both to Key Notes specifically, and any number of other things in between updates - or when it just decides to take a shit one day).  Now - the problem is, installing that update may very well fuck something else up.

And you won't know until you are already sailing through the air - legs, dong, and balls flapping in the breeze - heading towards the giant Revit wood chipper at the bottom of the cliff.

Fuck That.

Fuck Revit, Fuck Autodesk, Fuck Revitards, Fuck Revit Gurus, and fuck anyone unwilling to admit they got FUCKED by Revit.


Next Time: Path-etic.