Thursday, December 12, 2013

Autodick Revshit

So there I am, actually using Revit - and it's behaving itself for a change (still sucking ass, but at least pretending to be a functional set of software).

I'm even making some headway on the fucked up mess of a project that I'm having to put several others on hold to do - and it makes it all the way to 4:00 before taking a gigantic shit on me.

I'm almost completely done (with what I could've had done before lunch - although aspects of the project are *almost* equally to blame for that), finally on the home stretch, with light at the end of the tunnel.

And then, like the useless half-ass piece of shit that it is, it won't let me circuit the fucking lights (for no reason).  I can select any one light and connect it to a panel, but it won't let me add any more fixtures to the same circuit (and isn't displaying correctly on the schedule - but I could've worked around that).

I pondered just filling up several panels with one light on each circuit, but I somehow stop short of saying 'fuck it' (although I did say 'fuck' a lot) and slapping a coat of bimwash on it, and (against my better judgement) decided to ask around if anyone knows what the fuck is going on.

Now, I've had this godforsaken software fuck me over in just about every way imaginable, but this is the first time for this particular problem.  Two of us sit down and try every possible thing we can think of to no avail - both of us wasting well over an hour before calling it a day.

I am sending the bitches at Autodesk a fucking bill - I can't even imagine the obscene amount of wasted time that the Revit community has amassed during its existence, although I'm sure it has canceled out any supposed time 'saved'.

Even if people aren't directly wasting their time banging their head into yet another wall that Revit tosses in their path, there seems to be a tendency for users to sit around just staring blankly at their screens, or mindlessly panning/zooming/rotating the model.

While we were trying to find some kind if logic for this latest epic failure of Revit to simply DO WHAT THE FUCK I NEED IT TO DO we tossed out just about every possibility, and were to the point of assuming there was something wrong with the file, when it occurred to me that before it had taken a shit, I had been able to circuit the exterior lights with no problem (other than not showing up on the schedule correctly, but again - I can work around that).

It is my hope that by taking this fixture and modifying its geometry, I can slap something together that is passable, and then get back to figuring out how to get two whole other projects done - fortunately for those I have software that I know won't fuck me over.

I was flipping through a couple of message boards filled to the brim with Revit haters (i.e. - realists), including some on the Autodesk site.  The last post was from last year, and it was surprising that they hadn't been moderated, because they weren't pulling any punches.

A recurring topic (besides how mind-numbingly bad Revit is) was how Architects tended to bully Engineers into using Revit - which matches my (and the vast majority of other users) experience.

I'll dig up a few of these next time and compare/contrast different people's attitudes towards having shitty software force-fed to them.

Until then, Revit can eat a dick, and its fans/cheerleaders can eat a whole bag (each).

Skullfuck out.

Down in a Revit Hole

It's comical listening to someone hold forth on the benefits of Revit, and in the same breath complain about not having a day off for over two weeks (or in the foreseeable future), or having a day where they aren't plugging away at the Revit grindstone for 12+ hours).

While I'm sure it's great to get massive overtime, it isn't helping their physical or mental well-being, and it sure as fuck isn't helping the bottom line.  It isn't the amount of work they are doing that is keeping them here, since their production is roughly the same as when they were using ACAD (although getting them to admit it is a whole other trick), it's all of the extra time and effort they are spending finding yet another 'workaround'.

I've been fortunate to be able to avoid Revit on every single project that I'm working on right now, except one.  And it's a motherfucker.

Even if it were being done in ACAD, it would be a motherfucker, but at least I wouldn't be fighting two battles. Even if I were the UberReviteer it would be a motherfucker because it's a total clusterfuck.  The project manager is highly intelligent, but in outer space, and it's not just one project, but half a dozen, none of which have any clearly defined scope, and of course schedules are vague - until 'OMFG I GOTTA HAVE IT RIGHT NOW!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU DONE?!?!!?!? YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE DONE!?!?! (actually I didn't tell you  anything of the sort - and you fucking know it).

The saddest part is that I can guarantee the customer doesn't even have the first clue that it's being done in Revit (or what that actually means even if they do).  To them it's just a stack of 2D sheets of paper that they can mark endlessly on, not realizing that we can no longer just slap some shit together on it (well, we can - but then people get butthurt about 'bimwashing').

Fuck this project, and fuck everyone gleefully plugging away at it 14 hours a day for no gain, and no profit.  I could export it into ACAD and be done with the bulk of it by the end of the day (so that I can jump on the other two projects that I'm supposed to have basically completed by tomorrow) but instead, I'm going to waste most of the day dicking around with a useless piece of shit program.

Fuck Revit, Fuck Autodesk, and (as always) if you don't like it - then FUCK YOU.

Mr. Skullfuck Esq.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Revit Russian Roulette

Using Revit is the equivalent of putting a loaded gun to your head and pulling the trigger.

The problem is that the gun is not a revolver with only one bullet, but instead a semi-automatic pistol that already has a round in the chamber, guaranteeing that you will not only blow your own head off (and probably manage to clip someones arm or leg with the ricochet), but the survivors will be responsible for cleaning up the fucking mess that you left behind.

I get handed a project, told 'this has to be done in Revit', but the fee is microscopic.  'Oh - these will be prototypes - so we'll make our money back later' is the Revitards response.  The problem is that not only are they NOT prototypes (each one going into a differently shaped building) there's really no such thing as a 'Revit Prototype'.

You will be doing this shit, from scratch, every single fucking time.  With equally retarded schedules, none of the information you repeatedly request, and no money to take a trip out to the site to see if the shitty fucking building they are trying to cram it into even has capacity for it.

People are amazing with how willing they are to assume that things will 'just work', despite repeatedly running into major problems that could have been avoided by asking some fairly basic questions at the beginning of a project - of course, since they were busy setting up the project in Revit, and making assumption after assumption in order to pound a passable (albeit still extremely shitty looking) set of drawings, they couldn't be bothered with 'details'.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Revit Bait And Switch

This probably won't be the first time that I've griped about the disregard for standards that the Revit hive-mind displays.

Obviously there is a whole world of design where you are allowed to go all crazy-go-nuts with dimensions, angles, creative ways to waste space, etc. - however even those designers with relaxed limitations on budget and scope can't just toss everything out the window (through the screened facade and into the intentionally exposed exterior structural members).

In the meantime, most projects have to get built on a reasonable schedule and budget (even if they start off with dreams of huge glass skylights and massive cantilevered verandas).  This requires the use of at least a handful of standards that most architects (but few Revitards) understand as the key to a successful design.

This brings me to the point of today's rant - when most projects come in, someone (usually a Revitard) is told to slap together a model based on some vague criteria, so they fill in the holes with assumptions, and try to put together something passable. 

The next step is for that model to be foisted onto someone else (a Revitard/Architect Lackey) - who may or may not have been previously aware that the project even existed, and who is now responsible for figuring out where the design criteria/scope, intent of the architect, and standard building practices were adhered to, and where they went off into space.

This isn't about limitations on design - but the second you start down that road, there needs to be a mutual awareness between everyone involved (most importantly the person with the purse-strings) that we are now deviating from what you are going to get for the $/s.f. cost that you probably based your budget on.

What I'm talking about is someone being handed a project, and basically told 'look - we helped you out by having someone who may or may not know what they are doing (or care) make a Revit model'.  This renders any argument that spending half the budget to model an existing shell building (for example) just so that you can design a tenant finish is a waste of time/money, because it's already been wasted.

Then (usually only after substantial completion of the design) it occurs to someone to take some measurements of the existing tenant space, only to find out that 'holy fuck - we've been basing everything off of an arbitrary set of dimensions that someone made up off the top of their head when they started the model'.

If it's an office space, or other simple project, no big fucking deal - if it's a restaurant, laboratory, or industrial space with specific requirements for space, clearance, connections, etc. - then it's a big fucking deal.  That's the promise of Revit though - everything will get coordinated.  The problem is that if everything is fucking wrong, then everything gets coordinated fucking wrong (a classic example of garbage in/garbage out).

Then there are the things that get completely overlooked - since  MEP doesn't get brought on board until Revitards/Retarditects already dicked around for weeks/months tweaking the design only to find out that (usually because they are inexperienced at design - but especially because they are paying more attention to Reviting than to designing) they haven't planned any room for electrical panels, water service entrances, sprinkler risers, water heaters, ductwork, HVAC units,

And that's before they start having to tweak it endlessly because a real Architect finally put their eyes on a set of hastily assembled drawings with pathetic presentation graphics, and noticed that the design did not take into account various code requirements, requiring considerable rework. 

As I said last time, it's a good thing they love Revit, because they'll get to use it to try to beat the bastardized model into something that can actually go through the permitting process, be approved, built, inspected, and occupied (and the owner finally stops fucking with it). Again - kudos to the fuckheads attempting to make (and in some cases succeeding at making) submission of a Revit model one of the requirements do just that.

Because now you get to live out your dream - of dragging everyone down into hell with you...

A Post-Revit World

Fuck the sad piece of shit that is Revit.

Fuck it's inability to do anything except for waste time, money, mental effort, and fuck up project schedules.

Nothing is more infuriating than watching someone - be they architect, architect lackey, engineer, or designer go into a project all gung-ho about doing them some revitin', and the next thing you know, someones hair is on fire for it (and/or another project that is languishing in a similar hell).

They aren't done, and don't have a chance of being done.  Fuck, they aren't even to a point where 'done' is a real thing yet - they still have so much to do, and it is all going to be done 'the Revit way' (as opposed to the right way.

The look of suffering in the eyes of the lackeys and designers would break your heart if they didn't already want to make you break their faces for having already willingly spent countless hours in Revit, only to find out that now they need to finish on a schedule that is has been cut in half (or more).

Fortunately for the ones that claim to love Revit, they'll get to love it all weekend.

Fuck 'em.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

I ran across a very astute statement in a comment section earlier:

"It is my belief that any Contractor, Architect, or Engineer that says anything positive about Revit is trying to get work. Anyone who stands up and says Revit is no-good is looked upon as a weaker designer. Weaker designers get less work. So everyone perpetuates the lie (emphasis mine) that Revit is a useful design/documentation tool. Revit is a miserable program."

The only upside of what he says here is that we continue to prove that the Revit line is bullshit, because we keep picking up projects that people attempted to do in Revit, missed deadlines, and we now turn around in record time in ACAD.

We know when we're being bullshitted - and this 'Charles River Software' just ain't cutting it.  Even Autodesk knows it - which is why Revit will be going away soon.  They've been up against the limits of what this piece of shit cannibalized 3rd party software is capable of for a long time now.

Who knows?  Maybe its replacement will actually be the software that Revit always promised it would be - kind of like Microsoft releasing Windows 7 to bring Vista users (who remembered XP) down off the ledge (only to be put them back up there by pooping out Windows 8).

I can foresee the post-Revit world - to the new system...

Designed from the ground up with a focus on being fast , reliable, and intuitive - and not just some slapped together clusterfuck that wouldn't have made it out of beta testing at any respectable software company.

There will, of course, be a few sad, pathetic hold-outs who don't want to stop using Revit in exchange for the new, obviously superior system - but fortunately most already demonstrated their willingness to jump on a bandwagon before, so they will change again.

The grumbling of both Revit users (soon to be ex-Revit users), and ACAD holdouts (soon to be ex-ACAD holdouts) will soon be quelled, and the two will finally have something to rejoice about - BUT ONLY IF AUTODESK IS WILLING TO GET THEIR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF THEIR ASSES, AND GET TO WORK.

And they aren't going to to do that unless someone demands it - so WE HAVE TO DEMAND IT.

We have to demand an END TO REVIT - sooner rather than later.

Kneel Before ACAD

You are not fucking worthy.


Now I Am Become Death - The Destroyer Of Revit.

I am terrible time, the destroyer of all Revit in all worlds, engaged to destroy all Revit in this world; of those heroic Designers presently situated in the opposing army, even without you none will be spared.

Therefore arise for battle, O Designers.  You will gain fame by conquering the enemy and enjoy a flourishing kingdom - all these warriors have been slain already by Me due to previous design, you are merely the instrument.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Cold Dead Revit Eyes

I could barely contain my amusement at an e-mail I received the other day from our #1 BIM idiot having to do with new state standards.

The makers and users of Revit (and other packages) had already been successful in convincing various federal and state agencies to start requiring projects to be modeled - and now they get to reap the reward of having those agencies take off on their own and develop standards that everyone has to comply with.  This was mostly the work of self-important assholes who really thought they were being awesome by working with these agencies to develop these standards - forgetting that once you get any kind of government bureaucracy started, it will soon run out of control.

Some of the more hilarious items include requirements for 'as built' BIMs (yes - they pluralize BIM, thinking it means 'Building Information Models' when it would actually make it 'Building Information Modelings').  Imagine how much fun it would be for a firm that has already taken a beating on a project because they can no longer just 'BIMwash' or fake stuff in 3D, and have to fully utilize every aspect of the software (whether it is functional, or makes any sense to do so) - and now they get to spend even more time and money tweaking that model (and for engineers - their systems) to create a set of 'as built' drawings that (other than the hardcopies themselves) will probably never be seen again.

I've mentioned before the hilarity that will be coming soon (if it hasn't already started) wherein a set of Revit drawings that is more than 3 years old will no longer have an option to open without going through what can be an extremely long and drawn out conversion process to the newest version (with mixed results).  None of the people who are asking for these models understand that fact (nor do the vast majority even have licenses for the software that would be necessary to open them in the first place).

Even more hilarious is that when/if they tried to hand these archived models off to another firm to do renovations/additions - that new firm probably won't use them for anything but a go-by as they develop their own model from the ground up (nobody is going to trust a model that came from some other firm - not even Revit idiots).  And to add an extra level of irony - within a few years, software will have changed to the point where these archived models would be of little to no use to begin with.

With any luck - we won't even be using Revit anymore.  It's taken a lot of tightly closed eyes, fingers in ears, and people going 'lalalala I can't hear you' to get Revit to the point where it is currently at, and people are becoming more aware on a daily basis of how far removed from reality the average Revit user really is.  It's already eaten into profits, and caused massive amounts of undue stress and frustration - now with this latest list of requirements, there is a very good chance it could drag to a standstill (or drag us backwards as we lose money on every single project).

Reading over the list gives a very interesting look into the minds of the people involved - they are full of 'buzz words' but tap-dance around the subject of why any of this is necessary, or how they really think it will benefit anyone.  Obviously they have any number of defenders who (again) think it's really awesome that this is happening, but it's only because those people are too stupid to see the freight train coming at them.

As always - Fuck Revit, fuck it's users, defenders and apologists, fuck bureaucracies - and if you don't like it - fuck off and eat a dick!  (Hell, eat two while you are at it).

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Want to be an Electrical Designer? Don't Learn Revit

I happened to run across this post the other day:

Obviously this guy isn't actually telling people not to learn Revit, and starts his first paragraph by backpedaling away from that statement as quickly as possible - however he does not relent on his point, which is that if you want to be a Revit Monkey, then by all means, learn Revit, take
Revit classes/training, watch Revit videos, waste your nights and weekends Reviting.

Just don't harbor any delusions that dedicating yourself to learning a set of software is the same as dedicating yourself to learning a discipline (and get the fuck away from me with that shit).  You can study wrenches and sockets for the rest of your life, but it will never make you a mechanic.

As I've mentioned, I'm fortunate to have a diverse engineering and technical background, which is why when I started in the field of Electrical Design I was never hired, considered, or paid as a CAD Monkey (and it's certainly not the way my time is billed).

The various attempts by Revit Monkeys, apologists, and assholes to convince me that I need to take several steps backwards is laughable - especially when they claim it's the only way I will have a job.  The fact is - I took off the monkey-suit a long time ago (and it never really fit me that well to begin with).

The ultimate irony is that I could probably get hired over most of them at any given position - just by putting 'Revit' on my resume along with the rest of my work experience and skills - and if I was forced to take a job like that out of necessity - I could be up to speed on any discipline within a matter of days, and equal (or superior) to the skill level of any Revit Monkey on Earth within weeks (even those who have been using it for years).

Where Oh Where In The Fuck Did My Revit Go?

Fuck this program.

I was going to talk about trying to find your way around inside of a large (badly made) Revit model, but even in a simple one - it will just up and eat itself on occasion.

This wasn't even under heavy use either, and it just goes 'bang - you're dead'.  No 'would you like to try to save this', or acknowledgement by the re-started program that something just happened.

I'm willing to bet that with such a pathetic excuse for design software at the core of some people's fantasy world of unproductive bullshit, a 'message' like this probably doesn't even register.

They could probably get it 9-10 times a day, and it would actually feel like a little relief, since for the time it takes to re-open the model, and get back to where they were at, they don't have to use Revit.

I work with a number of people who are completely entombed in Revit, you can smell the stench of regret.  Their cold eyes seem to reflect a shadow of their former selves.

Even those who are 'productive' with it have thrown themselves against the wheel so hard it has broken many of them permanently.

All for dubious gain, and loss of profits.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Goddamn Fucking Revit Shit Choke On a Dick

Someone (albeit unintentionally) ended up throwing me under the bus the other day.

I had a very small, but fairly involved project (among the dozen or so that I was juggling) that would've been completely done - except I was waiting on equipment information.  I had already designed it once,  then modified it to meet the clients requested design that the Architectural Revit Monkey (ARM) neglected to mention, or foreward to me (or anyone else for that matter - but strangely he wasn't the one who ended up throwing me under the wheel).

Instead, it was the guy who I had specifically asked for the information I lacked, and was told 'I'll let you know when I get around to it'.  Instead he was halfway done (if that) and then tried to tell my boss that it was all there (in the Revit model of course).

The implication was clear - that I hadn't been getting my Revit on, otherwise I would have had seen that... it wasn't actually complete. 

It was my boss jumping the gun a little bit,because nobody was even supposed to be done (the ARM hadn't even designated a room for the rest of the equipment - and even after they did,  it changed locations three times). 

I don't blame my boss though, because he was just trying to help saw off a project (the only way some things ever get out of our office is because we refuse to let people make careers out of them).

But, since I had reached a stopping point, and moved on to other projects, the idea that I would regularly waste time opening various models (to play 'Where's Waldo') to see whether or not progress had been made is more than a little bit ridiculous. 

Against my better judgement,  I had already wasted time putting lights into the Architectural model (then wasted more time bumping them around - see above), for no real gain.

They finally get all of this worked out - two days later.   Then the equipment flips from gas to electric (then back again after we point out that the electrical version will require a stupidly large breaker to feed it).

This wasn't the first time I had someone (including this guy) act like I was a retard for not 'looking at the model - cause it's in the model' (cue derisive laughs), 'look at this stupid guy who doesn't know how to look at the model' - but guess what fuckfaces?  Stupid guy DID look at your goddamned model, and guess what?  He just made you look like his bitch, because it was either not 'in the model', or it was FUCKING WRONG IN YOUR MODEL.

The fact is, I catch other people's fuckups and oversights on a regular basis - but unlike the 'Revit Elite' I don't act accusatory.  I will let them know, allow them to take a look (since, just like in a lot of cases where someone sees a 'mistake' on my drawings, I might be overlooking or misunderstanding something), and either fix or explain it (otherwise known as 'coordination' - you may have heard of it).

I do this primarily because I'm not there to feed my superiority complex, I'm there to get shit done and out the door.  In my experience, if I help keep an eye out for other people (and am nice about it), they will reciprocate.  When someone pulls the kind of shit I'm describing (especially when it's preventing me from getting done and moving on to other projects, then I'm hesitant to help them at all.

This had been one of the most serious side effects of an intentional smear campaign on the part of Revit users (and reinforced by Autodesk shills).  Insult someone until they capitulate - but it doesn't work that way.  If I had let these self-righteous shitheads cow me into joining them in the deep end of the Revit cesspool, I would be in the same fucked up situation they are in,  without the ability to get anything done on a reasonable schedule - and then STILL be at the mercy of their self-imposed limitations.

Next time we'll be talking about trying to find shit in a Revit model.  Until then, fuck Revit, fuck Revit Monkeys, and fuck your Revit model.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


Fuck the trash that is Revit.

It has become a circle jerk of epic proportions - even when I waste time attempting to start projects in Revit (several times recently), conflicting schedules, and a lack of information put me in exactly the same spot - nowhere near done, and no way to get done.

I don't know how many simultaneous projects a 'Revit Electrical Designer' should be able to handle, or what circumstances they are working under.  I don't know what an 'average schedule' looks like, I just know what mine looks like - and it's hectic, chaotic, and unpredictable (at best).

Schedules shift at a moments notice - scope creeps or jumps, and often the project that you started out with bears little resemblance to the original proposal, and the harder you tear into it on the front end, the more guaranteed you are to end up doing nearly the entire fucking project twice (or more).

The one advantage to doing it in Revit, is that you don't have to worry about doing it twice - because you'll never get it done the first time.  I've been listening all morning to people who have been chasing endless tweaks on projects that should have been 'pencils down' days ago.

When modification becomes too simple, the barriers to making unnecessary modifications are removed, and the attitude on the front end becomes 'oh - we can work that out easily later in the project', so important discussions, critical decisions, and ACTUAL coordination never happen.

Not having constraints and limitations on design sounds like a dream come true - until you realize what that actually translates to in the real world, which is:  'No end to other people finding ways to screw me over at the last minute because they can't understand the domino effect.

If I'm going to have to deal with it at that level, then I'm absolutely going to use tools that allow me to easily sketch out schematics on whatever screwed up, unplanned p.o.s. that comes across my desk, so that I can have a starting place to build what will eventually be a completed set of drawings.

Monday, July 29, 2013


Welcome back to another edition of the Revit MEP Skullfuck!

I've been allowing dickless fucktards to get me off track lately (that's what dickless fucktards are for after all) - but I recently received a massive project that (despite what Revit dick-sockets keep telling me about the inevitability of Revit) is not only in ACAD, but also came along with a large enough fee (due mostly to an extremely short lead time) to actually make a profit - and a tidy one at that.

It's about time, since the vast majority of our projects seem to end up in the hole as architects and their lackeys Revit even the simplest projects into oblivion.  In this case, they aren't going to be involved at all (thank god) otherwise they would almost certainly spend the entire fee (and the next decade) modeling it down to the gnat's ass.

This project will be taking most of my (and at least one other persons) time, however I still have a half-dozen other projects to work on in parallel with it, only one (well, technically two) of which are supposed to be in Revit (despite not having the fee or any reason to be), all of which will get completed in ACAD - and anyone having a problem with that will promptly be told to 'fuck off'.

If just this one project were in Revit, the schedule would be unattainable - even by a whole team of veteran Reviteers, while the others sat on the back burner.  Instead, they will all be completed, on time, and under budget.  Some people have expressed concern over whether or not this is possible - but I have to laugh, because I've been in this same situation so many times by this point that (while I am aware of how much work will be necessary) I am not the least bit concerned about my ability to knock them all out (and then some).

Some might feel confident enough in their Revit skills to say the same, and more power to them - just get that shit out of my face.

Next time: 'Why Revit has single-handedly been responsible for every disaster and atrocity in recent history'.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Ballad of Tony & Wayne

While the intention of this blog was primarily to vent frustration, and I didn't really care if anyone ever read it (and cared even less if anyone agreed or disagreed with me), it has been good to get feedback from a handful of designers/engineers (and even pricks like the Revit Fag).

My recent rebuttal to the Revit Fag's comment garnered two comments - one from Electrical Design Engineer 'Tony' who appears to be in solidarity with myself and what I'm willing to wager is the vast majority of the design community, and one from anal-lube mouth application specialist first class 'Wayne King' (he didn't say what he actually does) who was butt hurt that I would dare to call people out for being cheerleaders and apologists for Autodesks shittiest piece of software to date.

Wait a minute... am I being trolled here?  Wayne King = WAyNeKING = WANKING!

If that's a coincidence, then it's a fucking hilarious one.  It would also explain why he was so concerned with the scorn I heap upon people, because growing up with a name like that would almost certainly result in him being especially sensitive to insults.

From his comment (and my responses):

'What a fucked up asshole you are sir!'

 Thank you for saying so!

 'If you have so much trouble getting Revit to work you must be some sort of fucking retard.' 

 I know right?  There's no way it could be the result of limitations or shortcomings on the part of the software, or it's developers.

'Granted it has limitations'

Wait - I thought it was because I was some sort of fucking retard... now I'm confused.

 'but blaming everything on your pathetic inabilities to model your way out of a paper bag?'

When did I say I couldn't model in it?  In fact, I've had several posts where I praised (well - acknowledged anyway) Revit's modeling tools, family editor, etc. - the problem is that I could 'model' all day long, and still be no closer to completing a project.


'It's obvious that you have had some sort of education'


'but I really wonder if you paid any attention past kindergarten'

 Yeah - it got kind of boring, especially considering that I was already reading at a college level by the time I started 1st grade.

'You seem to really get off on bagging people anonymously'

 True, but only those who deserve it.  You have to remember - I was using Revit for several years before I started this blog, and it was the culmination of reading dozens (if not hundreds) of blogs and comments full of derision for anyone who dared point out that the software was simply not delivering on Autodesk's promises.

For fucks sake - for the first few releases we had, our Plumbing designers couldn't even slope pipe (and still have their fittings connect correctly).  This wasn't any kind of shortcoming on our designers part - it was totally overlooked by developers who obviously had no idea what they were doing.

'well here you go, in return for those who won't or can't, back at you'

 Here we go...

'I hope you balls fester'

I hope you grammar gets better.

'(that's if you have any - you certainly like running down you employer and their clients with impunity).

Does the 'r' key on your keyboard not work in conjunction with you or something?
'Maybe you dick will drop off'

Maybe you grammar improve.

'but then, its (it's) probably so small, most people would think you were a girl if they saw it.'

Ask your mom, she certainly saw it last night.

'You could, if you tried, be fairly amusing, some of the posts here actually made me smile.'

The intention wasn't to be amusing, but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from stabbing.

The continued, personal attacks however lead me to the conclusion that, you are sir, nothing more than a cowardly cunt.

Like I said, they fired the first shot(s), and now they are getting their comeuppance.  If you think I'm
a cowardly cunt, you should probably take a look at some of the other blogs and posts that I've referred to in the past.  I would've called those people cunts, but it would be an insult to cunts.

Moderate that you bastard!

Alright - next time it's back to business, I've been letting people get me off track.  Fuck them, fuck Revit, and if you don't like what I'm saying - then the general direction you should fuck is 'off'.

Monday, July 8, 2013

'The Revit Kid' Strikes Back

It took a while  - but I apparently finally got the attention of one 'Jeffrey Pinheiro' AKA 'The Revit Kid' AKA 'The Revit Faggot'.

I re-posted his comments (with my responses) below:

"First, thanks for the post and the traffic my way!"   (No problem faggot).

"I will have you know that I have been using Revit professionally (as in, to create REAL WORLD BUILDINGS that HAVE BEEN CONSTRUCTED) for over five years. Long before you started posting on this blog."  (And I was doing Electrical Design for nearly 10 before I started this blog - in addition to about 5 more years of various technical and engineering jobs.  What he has been doing for the last five years is to waste peoples time babbling about 'BIM' nonstop, and shitting on anyone who dares oppose him).

"I have no problems with people disagreeing with me, or even calling me a self-absorbed douche bag motherfucker, but I will not allow meaningless and uneducated attacks on my professional credentials, character, educations, and experience."  (And I 'will not allow' pretentious assholes to get away with nurturing an environment that is hostile to otherwise productive, dedicated, and talented designers).

"Having worked side by side with other MEP Engineers using Revit for the past five years (on REAL WORLD buildings in a REAL WORLD office) I would love to chat about your experiences and share ideas in a professional and mature conversation." (And I'd love to punch this motherfucker so hard that they have to pick his teeth out of the inside of the back of his fucking skull in order to identify him by his dental records - but based on the responses I've gotten from other MEP engineers and designers, I can guarantee that I'd have to get at the end of an extremely long line to do so).

"P.S. For more information on my professional and academic credentials here are some links:"

 (P.S. - after reading his 'credentials' I remain unimpressed.  This is a guy who, until recently, has been going to school, and managed to get himself a job at a firm that apparently has projects with infinite budgets and lead times.  Back over here in the reality that I live in, I was expected to figure out Revit on my own (or go back to school), and figure out how to get projects out the door, despite having a building full of architects (not unlike Jeffrey here) who spend all day long jerking off to BIM models, and are nowhere near completion when the projects are due - and even when they do get done, the building gets built based on 2D drawings, and field-adjustments get made that negate almost all of the benefits of having a 3D model in the first place.  As I have said repeatedly - I don't care if these people want to stick their dicks in the Revit Meat Grinder, but when they smile and tell me that I should try it, I have to 'Just Say No'.)

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Fear And Loathing In Revit

It's official - the next motherfucker that comes into my office and so much as mentions the word 'Revit' is getting thrown out of my goddamned window.  If they e-mail or call and mention 'Revit', I will go to where they are (and there is nowhere on this fucking Earth they can hide from me), drag them kicking and screaming to the nearest window equivalent to the height of the one in my office, and throw them out (or through) it.

Now - it's not so far that they would be killed by the impact (unless I tossed them out head first - which I'm going to save for the next motherfucker that thinks they can threaten me with my job for not sucking the Revit cock), but they would definitely find themselves coming to terms with a few broken bones, and the distinct impression that I'm the one guy who they should've definitely never even remotely considered fucking with.

I don't give a fuck if they want to use it all day long and wallow in their own shit - all it has managed to do since it's inception is destroy any goodwill that I might've otherwise been able to muster towards these people whose entire existence seems to be to stab me in the back, pull the rug out from underneath me, and throw me under the bus (often all at once).  They have mistaken my typically easy-going and laid back nature for weakness, and while I've managed to straighten out a few people on that particular misconception, others just don't take a fucking hint.

I keep thinking about picking up a set of taser-knuckles (I saw them at a pawnshop one day, brilliant fucking idea if there ever was one), so I'm ready for the next Revit dick-socket who comes in here thinking I have any fucks left to give about their cock-suckery.  A couple thousand volts (and some additional 'convincing' afterwards to guarantee they keep their fucking mouths shut) might be just the thing to bring a little reality crashing into their little worlds.

It's unfortunate that some people only understand violence - I've tried reasoning with them, and attempted to work out a compromise, but they've been sucked too far into the Revit quagmire to be appealed to with logic.  If they had approached this differently from the get-go, they might've even been able to talk me into playing part-time footsie with the Revit dick, but instead all they've done is waste my fucking time.

And I'm fucking over it.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Revit Ain't Shit But Hos and Tricks.

Okay - now this Revit version shit that I was complaining about is finally starting to really drive me directly UP THE FUCKING WALL.

It's bad enough having to hunt down what fucking version of this fucking software a model is saved in - but then you run across the problem of "I'm sitting here staring at the fucking thing for half an hour while it 'temporarily upgrades' all of the linked files".

I'm not even trying to work in this model - although it turned out to be a good fucking thing that I did look at it, because in between when I was nice enough to populate the piece of shit with fucking light fixtures and now, they had managed to delete two fixtures in a back corridor (leaving it completely empty except for an exit light and an HVAC plenum that was placed right in the middle of where one of the fucking lights should have been.

I said 'what the fuck ever' and slapped a fucking light where there was fucking room so I wouldn't have to fucking waste a mechanical designer's fucking time to have to open their fucking file (not actually sure what happens if you haven't upgraded your file and you have an upgraded file linked in - I'm sure it's not good, which means the only other option is to stare at Revit while it 'permanently' upgrades your file).

I also moved a can light that was living in the exact same location as an HVAC plenum - but wasn't throwing up any errors.  Not a big deal right?  Well - actually, we had already had a complaint on a previous job from the same owner about lighting coordination.  The argument about what software I'm using is a moot fucking point because I had populated that model with my lights too, but due to more HVAC plenums, and ceilings that were rotated the wrong fucking way in a corridor, they couldn't fit a 2'x4' light.

Another simple solution - use a 2' x 2', but if we're going to just rig this shit together in the field anyway - then WHY IN THE FUCK WASTE TIME MODELING IT ALL IN 3D?  If they are going to ignore the location of my fixtures or delete them, then what the fuck is the point?  Just yesterday I had somebody call and act like I hadn't put lights into their fucking model.  In this case I had an Electrical model - which they had referenced, but which (for some reason or another) wasn't allowing them to see all of the lights.

I was already in my model fixing all of the various changes that I had wasted my time modeling in 3D to begin with, and they told me that I only had two light fixtures in an area.  I sent them a snip (I love the fucking snip tool) showing that I indeed had nine lights, but they 'could not see them'.  They ended up wasting several peoples time (in addition to mine), and ended up pulling a dickless piece of shit 'Revit Guru' into the mix to finally figure out what was wrong with their fucking model.

Then they came back and said there weren't lights in another room, where they had changed their ceiling height, and (of course) nothing in my linked file changed jack-diddly-shit, because this software (on top of sucking so fucking hard that I'm amazed it's not in porn) isn't being used in a way that allows us to actually coordinate, and instead just ends up being a clusterfuck of the Architect modifying the ceilings, me playing 'where's waldo' and chasing their fucking changes, and fuck fuck fuck the fuck.

On top of those fucking problems, yet another fuckhead starts giving me shit because I haven't been Reviting up his bullshit project that I hadn't heard a peep out of in over two months.  It was the last straw yesterday - because I was already buried past my fucking eyeballs right now because of incompetence and shitty communications/scheduling (and working on YET ANOTHER completely unrelated project - in ACAD thank fucking god, but still being run into the ground by a fucking idiot).

I'm ready to eviscerate the next shit-eating Revit fuckhead who calls, e-mails, or comes into my office.  It's a waste of time, a waste of effort, and is steadily grinding away at my ability to concentrate or give a fuck about anything - and it's going to get someone's fucking ass beaten so badly, they will beg for death.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Not surprisingly, I ended up having to go back into someone else's project again to fix what appeared to be a major oversight on the part of someone on my team that is out on vacation (if you were to listen to the architect anyway - chances are the designer busted his ass to get all of the information he could onto the drawing, only to be nonchalantly tossed under the bus when he's not here to defend himself).

I complain about having to revisit jobs - especially other people's jobs.  Mainly because you have to start by trying to recall (or infer) what design criteria, thought processes, etc. were taking place when the project was being developed.  You can't just start going through them willy-nilly, otherwise what looks like a 'mistake' or 'omission' (at first glance) can actually turn out to be what was a hotly contested, deeply discussed, considered, reconsidered, and finally compromised on issue (or more likely, was designed correctly, and someone bitched about having to pay money for it to be built correctly).

Now - when I work on a project, I don't keep immaculate notes on every single decision that gets made, and while memory is far from perfect - I can usually pull out my dead-tree folder, refer back to e-mails, and piece it back together fairly quickly.  What's funny is when someone comes through telling me that I need to change X and Y, move Z, etc. - and I get to shut them down with 'Actually - there are reasons we did the things we did, and unless those reasons have changed (which is possible), then I'm not doing anything'.

I'll probably dedicate my next post to what I call 'The Loop', which is a mysterious, ever changing and shifting exclusive information base, but for now let's get back to fixing what I am assured were 'mistakes' with my co-workers drawings.  I had already made a few 'last minute' changes to the project after he left on vacation, and despite being in Revit, it was only a moderate pain in the ass.

What I was being asked to do sounded extremely simple - correct the lighting package being used for the anchor store at a strip mall.  Basically (for the uninitiated), companies that regularly put their stores into strip malls or other buildings that they are leasing put together a letter outlining the specifics of what the landlord is responsible for providing (otherwise they will get a completely empty shell).

In most cases the requests are simple - specific light fixture/lamp manufacturers, finishes, HVAC requirements, etc., but (as with most things) if this information isn't passed along to the designers (even after they ask for it - repeatedly), then the only thing they can do is make their best guess and move on, which is what it looked like what happened in this case.

So I open the project, wait for it to load, and go to work trying to figure out how to de-clusterfuckize the goddamned thing.  Even the projects I have 'done' in Revit still use CAD fixture schedules (and I tag the fixtures with text), but this guy had managed to get his light fixtures to schedule and tag - all the Revit way.  This was great - right up until the point where only one of the tenant spaces that the schedule referred to was changing.  I spent a few minutes trying to see if I could manipulate the families to get what I needed, and then said 'fuck this', and dumped the schedule out to ACAD.

Or at least tried to - the header came out, but no schedule.  I thought about trying to figure out how to get the schedule to export - but between needing to get this project (and the half a dozen other projects that it was fucking holding up) done, and not wanting to pay for a new monitor after I punched a hole in the old one, I said 'fuck the dumb shit' and manually re-created the whole goddamned schedule in ACAD, labeled it for the tenant spaces that were staying the same, and then created a new one with the owner's requested fixtures - imported them both back into the Revit model, and 'voila'.

This prevented me from having to re-tag any of the fixtures, but then I start looking around and noticing actual mistakes - first was that all of the exit lights had been labeled (or scheduled) backwards, so the edge-lit LED signs were in the back-of-house areas, while the injection molded 'el cheapo' kind were being prominently displayed in the customer showroom (easy fix).  Then I added a few notes and tags to clarify some other pieces of information that I felt had been omitted/overlooked.

As usual - a big part of what annoys me in Revit is how people use it as carte blanche to stop giving a fuck about standards - even though my ACAD electrical drawings are slightly different than other designers in the firm, they all tend to communicate the same information (albeit in slightly different ways) but it's generally all there.  Not so when it comes to Revit - while I attempt to make my drawings look as close to my ACAD drawings as to be almost indistinguishable, other people just slap the Revit on it, and call it a day.

The information that we are trying to convey hasn't changed, the importance of key pieces of information definitely hasn't changed - and while Revit isn't preventing anyone from taking the extra steps necessary to make sure that this information is communicated clearly and effectively, if a designer is struggling to get even basic information onto the drawings, then more complicated pieces of information are going to get overlooked or lost in the oversimplification process as Revit attempts to quantify the Electrical Engineering discipline.

Back in the early days of the Revit virus, I complained about a number of things that were apparently 'overlooked' in the development of the software - and was met (by Autodesk, other designers, etc.) with a standard 'well, Revit doesn't do it like that' response.  Every discipline was running into similar problems, and if they couldn't find a 'workaround' then 'good enough' had to suffice. 

The sad part is that I can guarantee, on top of adding ridiculous amounts of time and stress to the design process, that any benefits realized by having a 3d model of the project have been vastly overwhelmed by the amount of confusion, mistakes, and other problems that have been generated by designers and modelers who spent all of their time fighting Revit, rather than using their mental capacity to head off these problems by applying STANDARDS to their projects.

I'm sitting here looking at drawings of another Revit project - this one is just a simple swap of HVAC equipment (the new equipment has to be connected before the old equipment can be disconnected though).  I'll be curious what kind of a clusterfuck this thing will be once I open it and start working on it - my money is on 'Mongolian'.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Take-Off Eh!

I've probably mentioned it before, but talking about actual full-blown 3d conduit layout in a project reminded me of another falsification peddled by the Revit-elite - that anyone with a functioning brain would use Revit for 'take-off'.

For the uninitiated, 'take-off' is what happens once a set of construction documents (remember those?) are completed (remember that?), and in order to make sure that the bids are realistic, somebody sits down and acts like they are the contractor, and attempts to estimate what the building will cost to build - as appointed.

You hear people throw around dollar/square-foot numbers all the time - many (if not all) of which are whipped directly out of that persons rectal-calculator.  You can get a rough idea, especially once you've actually seen a few projects from conception to completion, but there are too many variables - and people are way too willing (just like when we are designing the project) to say 'oh - it's just like that other project we did'.

The key word there is 'like'.  If it's 'like' the other building in that it has a floor, walls, roof, windows, and all of the other things that make a building a building, then yes, it could be considered to be 'like' the other one - but unless you are willing to hang your hat on it being *exactly like* the other building, you better not start handing out even rough estimates without educating yourself a little bit.

Between what the codes require, what the owner/architect wants (which may vary wildly, not agree, and is subject to change on a daily basis), and what is necessary to accomplish all of the tasks necessary to take a design from conception to completion, and take a site from whatever state it is currently in, to a completed building (with a certificate of occupancy) that you can drive up in front of, walk into, turn on the lights/hvac/plumbing, and use it for whatever purpose it was intended for - there are huge differences in every single building that gets built.

Even simple boxes that we crank out all of the time - someone does a rough-estimate, bases what they think they can afford to do on that, then reality kicks in, and we wasted half of our time designing and drawing/modeling shit that should have never been in the project to begin with.  If you ever hear someone say they can do 'X' for '$X/s.f.' - unless they are willing to agree to pay the difference (and get that in writing), tell them that they need to fuck off.

Enter Revit - and every archidoodlehead thinks they can:

1. Slap together a model.

2. Magical rainbows and sparkle ponies.

3. Have an accurate idea of what it will cost to build the building.

The fact is - attempting to use the glorified spreadsheet that is Revit as an actual spreadsheet fails just as badly as trying to use excel would be for 3d design.  The first thing that any intelligent person does to a Revit model before attempting to use it for take-off is print the CD's out, and then turn off Revit (or preferably have someone else do it - so you don't have to spend half an hour opening, re-opening in the right version, etc.).

A set of .pdfs makes it easier to review files at any time - and is an absolute must-have (even when not working in Revit), *BUT* has to be kept religiously updated, or changes/revisions to the working file do not get passed along.  I always make .pdfs of signed/sealed drawings, but I almost always refer back to the working drawings anyway - in ACAD this is a non-issue, because opening a file doesn't require hunting down the right version of the software (as long as what you are using is newer), and the file will be open before your dick rots off.

Maybe continued use of ACAD has given me an unrealistic expectation of speedy access to my working files - and usually if I'm viewing it, it probably means someone dropped the ball (maybe even me) and tweaks (small or large) to the design are going to be necessary.  I've already been into an electrical ACAD file this morning that didn't belong to me - and was able to get the information I needed in seconds, and then open a mechanical ACAD file to cross-check it in only a few more seconds.

And in the (very likely possibility) that I have to fix it, I will be done before the Revit splash screen would even have time to pop up.