Monday, January 4, 2016

Memories... Of The Way Revit Used To Fuck Me...

Another glorious day without Revit!

It's inconceivable now, after the last few months of stress-free productivity and profitability, that I put up with Revit (and it's army of dickless retards) for as long as I did.  Looking back, my only regret is that I didn't simply tell them to go fuck themselves from day one, and refuse to relent.

It took inconceivable amounts of effort to not go the immature route and simply sabotage Revit at every given opportunity in order to make even the most ardent supporters start to realize that it was unsustainable - fortunately Revit was good at sabotaging itself (unfortunately it's supporters were capable of seemingly infinite amounts of Revit apologetics).

Every second I spent in Revit could have been better used on literally any other task imaginable - but even then I would have still had to have been perpetually opening up models to export whatever screwed up nonsense some Architect wanna-be had come up with.

At my current job, I see projects that were done by a variety of architectual and engineering firms - including my previous employer.  One of the first projects that came across my desk here was one that I had done the electrical design for - and unknowingly sent to myself 2 months in the future (it was a bizarre feeling, and will probably happen again and again over the next year or so).

It's amusing to see how badly other firms (and even some people from within my old firm) screw up their designs.  It was an apartment complex that finally broke the camels back at my old job - with Reviteers fucking up the design so bad that I had to take it upon myself to force communication between the Architect, Project 'Manager' (using that term in the loosest possible sense), the 'modeler' (who wasn't involved in the initial kickoff), and the Revit 'Guru' (read: guy who had helped set up the clusterfuck process).

I mentioned that Revit never addressed (at least not out of box - and I didn't have the time nor the desire to figure out a process) to do projects with 'typical units'.  The architects/reviteers had decided to find 'typical units' within their overall buildings and detail them out.  This resulted in a mess of 'typical - but not really' units - none of which were actually designed correctly.

The first Apartment Complex I ran across here was probably done in Revit (I can usually tell when every circle in their drawing is made up of two half-circles because apparently Revit can't comprehend circles), and (at least this portion) had been detailed throughout the entire building, rather than typical units - but even then, there were major issues.

Now, at this job, I do have to detail out the entire building (but I'm not doing all of the power/lighting/etc. and the systems I am working on now make more sense to do building wide instead of trying to do typical units).

Within a few minutes of working on it, I start to notice that they have left off a considerable amount of necessary equipment from the units.  This job is kind of bizarre, because I'm used to fixing any mistakes I find (whether they are mine, or someone elses), but now I leave it exactly the way it is, make note of it, and after the design gets rejected, we get paid additional money to fix the mistakes.

In this case, simply leaving off the copious amount of shit missing from the drawings would have resulted in a massive amount of work on the tail end (the project was almost immediately rejected by the AHJ after submission), so I not only took note of how much equipment was missing, I also sized everything in my systems based on a correct design, so when I come back, I simply plug in the missing equipment, and nothing gets overloaded.

My attention to detail, and relentless approach to completing projects on-time (typically early), accurately, and communicating with all necessary parties has already gotten me noticed at my new firm.  It's those kinds of things that were being overlooked before, because everyone was so hung up on Reviting their dicks off - someone could be a complete incompetent dipshit, but as long as they were toeing the Revit line, they were rewarded.

They could drag a project out far beyond the deadline, duplicate effort, decimate the client's budget, burn all profit, design an un-buildable and/or un-permittable building, necessitate countless revisions, waste other discipline's time - and then all sit around sucking each other's dicks because 'Lookit - We Revited Something'.

As dickless fuckstick 'Wayne' said (before I deleted his comment) - 'Good riddance to bad rubbish'.  I actually agree wholeheartedly - good riddance to Revit, and the idiots that make Revit a reality.  Fuck them, fuck their mothers, fuck their mother's mothers - and (as always) fuck Autodesk for shitting on the design community.


The Ex-SkullFuck.

(P.S. - I'll check in from time to time, if anyone sees any new/existing Revit bullshit they would like me to rant about - feel free to post a comment).