Monday, January 4, 2016

Memories... Of The Way Revit Used To Fuck Me...

Another glorious day without Revit!

It's inconceivable now, after the last few months of stress-free productivity and profitability, that I put up with Revit (and it's army of dickless retards) for as long as I did.  Looking back, my only regret is that I didn't simply tell them to go fuck themselves from day one, and refuse to relent.

It took inconceivable amounts of effort to not go the immature route and simply sabotage Revit at every given opportunity in order to make even the most ardent supporters start to realize that it was unsustainable - fortunately Revit was good at sabotaging itself (unfortunately it's supporters were capable of seemingly infinite amounts of Revit apologetics).


Every second I spent in Revit could have been better used on literally any other task imaginable - but even then I would have still had to have been perpetually opening up models to export whatever screwed up nonsense some Architect wanna-be had come up with.

At my current job, I see projects that were done by a variety of architectual and engineering firms - including my previous employer.  One of the first projects that came across my desk here was one that I had done the electrical design for - and unknowingly sent to myself 2 months in the future (it was a bizarre feeling, and will probably happen again and again over the next year or so).

It's amusing to see how badly other firms (and even some people from within my old firm) screw up their designs.  It was an apartment complex that finally broke the camels back at my old job - with Reviteers fucking up the design so bad that I had to take it upon myself to force communication between the Architect, Project 'Manager' (using that term in the loosest possible sense), the 'modeler' (who wasn't involved in the initial kickoff), and the Revit 'Guru' (read: guy who had helped set up the clusterfuck process).

I mentioned that Revit never addressed (at least not out of box - and I didn't have the time nor the desire to figure out a process) to do projects with 'typical units'.  The architects/reviteers had decided to find 'typical units' within their overall buildings and detail them out.  This resulted in a mess of 'typical - but not really' units - none of which were actually designed correctly.

The first Apartment Complex I ran across here was probably done in Revit (I can usually tell when every circle in their drawing is made up of two half-circles because apparently Revit can't comprehend circles), and (at least this portion) had been detailed throughout the entire building, rather than typical units - but even then, there were major issues.

Now, at this job, I do have to detail out the entire building (but I'm not doing all of the power/lighting/etc. and the systems I am working on now make more sense to do building wide instead of trying to do typical units).

Within a few minutes of working on it, I start to notice that they have left off a considerable amount of necessary equipment from the units.  This job is kind of bizarre, because I'm used to fixing any mistakes I find (whether they are mine, or someone elses), but now I leave it exactly the way it is, make note of it, and after the design gets rejected, we get paid additional money to fix the mistakes.

In this case, simply leaving off the copious amount of shit missing from the drawings would have resulted in a massive amount of work on the tail end (the project was almost immediately rejected by the AHJ after submission), so I not only took note of how much equipment was missing, I also sized everything in my systems based on a correct design, so when I come back, I simply plug in the missing equipment, and nothing gets overloaded.

My attention to detail, and relentless approach to completing projects on-time (typically early), accurately, and communicating with all necessary parties has already gotten me noticed at my new firm.  It's those kinds of things that were being overlooked before, because everyone was so hung up on Reviting their dicks off - someone could be a complete incompetent dipshit, but as long as they were toeing the Revit line, they were rewarded.

They could drag a project out far beyond the deadline, duplicate effort, decimate the client's budget, burn all profit, design an un-buildable and/or un-permittable building, necessitate countless revisions, waste other discipline's time - and then all sit around sucking each other's dicks because 'Lookit - We Revited Something'.

As dickless fuckstick 'Wayne' said (before I deleted his comment) - 'Good riddance to bad rubbish'.  I actually agree wholeheartedly - good riddance to Revit, and the idiots that make Revit a reality.  Fuck them, fuck their mothers, fuck their mother's mothers - and (as always) fuck Autodesk for shitting on the design community.

Sincerely,

The Ex-SkullFuck.

(P.S. - I'll check in from time to time, if anyone sees any new/existing Revit bullshit they would like me to rant about - feel free to post a comment).

21 comments:

  1. Oh my god. I'm so jealous man. I need to get the fuck out of here. I can't do it anymore. I just can't do it anymore! What do I now? Is there anyone that Doesn't use Revit? Words cannot express my joy for you and disgust with Autodesk. Best of luck with your new job man.


    REVIT SUCKS BALLS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!

      Unfortunately, your options are going to be limited - as I mentioned, I interviewed with a handful of firms that were reeling from the experience of having the Revit dick lovingly inserted into their eye-sockets.

      This means you will probably have to look outside your immediate field - but it will absolutely be worth it.

      Delete
    2. If you insist on continuing to work in the MEP consulting engineering industry, your only choice will be to work at a small firm, as most mid-size and large consulting engineering firms have already consumed the Revit Kool Aid.

      Delete
  2. So, so jealous....I dream of this day for myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't (in good conscious) tell you to quit your job, but I would seriously consider pounding the pavement trying to find a way out. You will not regret it.

      I've mentioned before how the 'Revit Elite' took full advantage of the economic collapse (brought on by not entirely dissimilar fuckery by banks - which, if you haven't seen 'The Big Short' - GO SEE THAT SHIT!!!) to force Revit down the throats of people who were holding onto their jobs by a thread with extremely limited options.

      Delete
  3. You are so Lucky. At my firm we have a lot of those incompetent dip-shits that think Revit is the best thing since sliced bread. Like you said they bust budgets sitting on jobs sucking the profit away. They design buildings that can not be constructed. Please for the love of god keep writing and help us thru our pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Revit Skullfuck will not sit idly by while others continue to suffer.

      Where skulls are being fucked by Revit - I will be there.

      Delete
  4. REVIT seriously shakes my belief in free market capitalism. How an absurd program like this can become so widely adopted boggles the mind. It makes me think of what other ridicilous, inefficient things go on in our economy every single day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Revit is the opposite of the free market - it has attempted to assert total control over how engineering (and architectural) firms design and issue projects.

      Revit = Fascism.

      Delete
  5. im glad i found this blog; author of which clearly shares my view of revits absolute fucktardery!

    just bought a new 3d connexion space orbit mouse thing.... every single software it is super awesome.
    orbiting in sketchup is like flying a unicorn made out of laughter

    using it to orbit revit is like a terrible rollercoaster of shit and absolutely uncomprehensible fuckwizardry while you infinitely punch your self in the face from back in time

    fuck. you. revit. orbiting. you sack of shit looking no good graphics parallel projection horseass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is endlessly fascinating how Revit apologists tout it as the 'be all end all' when there are hundreds of other software packages out there that don't behave like they were developed by throwing monkeys in front of computers and compiling the code they generate with a 486 DX2.

      For them, Revit exists in a vacuum.

      Delete
  6. BIM
    Bim is the acronym for "Building information modeling" and is touted as the "New way of doing things".

    It is a bullshit slogan, a sales pitch, nothing more.

    Within the all encompassing field of Architecture (MEP) since day one of it's inception, that BIM has and always was part and parcel of the craft. It is nothing new at all, that all has happened with this is some college marketing scam artist came up with a fresh slogan to describe what has always existed with all of this before Revit, even before Autocad.

    All the respective crafts depend on the same thing and that is what? Information. It doesn't matter what field we all need the information related to whatever field one is working in be it, HVAC, Electrical, Structural, etc.

    Never has a firm not depended upon information, ever. Never has any of the engineering crafts not required information to get out a set of drawings, ever.

    BIM is not new, the only thing that is new is the creation and use of the slogan for the big bad REVIT sales pitch. It really is a form of doublespeak. What we used to call (I need the fucking information about this project, or I need the fucking cut sheets for all this electrical equipment, or I need the dimensions and junk to make your building) IS just BIM.

    When I (in the electrical department) have a project given to me, (a background or building shell) the most important thing I require is knowing electrical requirements. Loads and shit. Nothing else. To build my model (speaking in Cad or Revit, doesn't freaking matter but we are still only using Cad for production - ie: to make money), but to complete my 'model" (electrical plans) if things aren't already installed in the drawing, I just circuit, fill out panel schedules and make a single-line diagram (and all the necessary electrical notes) and that's about it. That is my BIM. My "model". My electrical drawings are the result of the information given to me to complete these electrical drawings. It's still just BIM regardless of the relation to whatever program one is using per their particular craft.

    For those of us on the electrical end of things guess what. We are the last in line of this process. Our biggest battle with every single project is what? Getting the dam information from dipshit architects or dumbass "lighting designers" and whatnot on time so we can meet a deadline, which is always at the last second and throughout the long BIM clusterfuck is getting the CORRECT information. Well if REVIT is BIM and electrical is the last in line, then this makes for a horrible massive clusterfuck of last minute horror for sure! BIM? I need the information, period. All projects are BIM no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You FUCKING NAIL IT!!!

      Information has been at the core and driven every aspect of every project we as designers and engineers have ever done.

      The myth being perpetuated by the 'Revit Elite' is that all of the information you've been asking for will now magically appear in the Revit model.

      It's a fucking smoke screen.

      Delete
  7. I'm currently working on a rather large project (>500,000 square feet). We had a CA kickoff meeting with the architect a few weeks ago, and they announced that they would be using Autodesk Glue and Autodesk Field throughout the CA phase of the project. I can't fucking wait. To say that this is going to turn into a massive clusterfuck is an understatement.

    It's kind of amazing that AutoCAD and Revit are made by the same company, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Ah yes - the 'BIM 360' buttfuck. The first picture you see when you go onto Autodesk's 'Construction Collaboration' page is a couple of guys posing in hard hats and holding a tablet.

      The claim is that it will 'empower those in the field to better anticipate and act, and those in the back office to optimize and manage all aspects of construction performance'.

      The person who wrote that statement has never seen a job site (or a back office).

      The amazing part is that Autodesk hasn't had the living shit sued out of them.

      Delete
  8. This is really informative. Thanks and keep up the good work
    mep consultants

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks Ramachandran - I started doing this for catharsis, but I've been happy to see other people's reactions to it.

    Except for 'Wayne Kerr' - fuck that guy. :P

    ReplyDelete
  10. You always bring everyone the most interesting and useful, I like it all, thank you
    mep consultants

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are welcome! If you've got any Revit related topic(s) you would like to hear me rant about, feel free to post them!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You are welcome! If you've got any Revit related topic(s) you would like to hear me rant about, feel free to post them!!!

    ReplyDelete