Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Bluebeam Revu Can Suck a Dick.

Queso Paso?

So I've still got this stupid goddamned project floating around in space - with no idea when they will stop fucking around with it and allow me to do my job.

I had a few minutes in between other projects (that I'm not getting any fucking information on) to see what its status was, and remembered that I had uninstalled Bluebeam Revu because it's a piece of shit that installs itself into every other program on my computer.

One (tiny little) thing in their favor is that when I re-downloaded and installed, it apparently gives me another 30 day trial (don't know if this works indefinitely or not), because I'm sure as fuck not spending any money on this bullshit (and am disinclined to ask my company to do so either - because I hope I never have to fucking see it again).

I attempt to log in to the session that I was previously given access to, only to find out that these dipshits ended that session, and created two new ones (one for Current QC set, and one for 'ongoing current pdf set', whatever the fuck that means - I'll probably end up having to dig through both to figure out what the fuck is going on) neither of which I have access to.

I mean, why would I need access to the only goddamned place (out of the half dozen shitty pieces of software they dumped on us) that I can actually see the drawings that I'm supposed to be basing my design on?  I'm still glad that I'm not being expected to do the Revit Buttfuck 2-Step, but this process shares almost everything in common with the mentality that allowed people to stick the diseased Revit cock up everybody's asses in the first place.

If I were still at my last firm, I would probably still be wasting my time to open their stupid goddamned Revit model from time to time to export .dwgs so I can actually do my fucking job, but since I 1) Don't fucking have Revit on my computer, and 2) Don't fucking want Revit on my computer, then I am stuck having to do everything via .pdfs.

I think I mentioned last time that I got pulled into this project WAAAAAY too early.  There was a small building (that probably should've been it's own project so we could get it out of the way), but then I was handed a much (much) larger building that I didn't realize was still in a state of flux. I exported .pdfs to .dwg to get started (which fucking sucks), and have already gone through one set of changes.

The extra time to do this has killed the hours allotted to this project (and then some), but I rarely have to listen to anyone (who matters) complain about me going over on hours (because they are a fraction of the profit we'll make on this project) - and it's still nowhere near done.  Of course, once we get a 'final' set of drawings from them, I'll probably knock the rest of it out in a day or two - as opposed to the months long process that these morons have drug everyone else through.

It's a fairly elaborate project, but not that elaborate - I've certainly worked on larger and more involved projects in the past that didn't require the sheer amount of time/software that these people have used (nor would they have benefited in any way from their circle-jerk of a process).  In fact, it probably would already be under construction, as their stupid assumptions about how things were going to magically work were inevitably proven wrong.

Instead, it's going to probably be a year or more before these assumptions (the mother of all fuckups) come to light, meaning that I'll probably end up having to get drug back in to untangle the clusterfuck that they've made of what could've been a relatively painless process if they didn't have their heads (along with multiple dildos) up their asses.

It is a government project after all, though - so over-elaborate processes, too many goddamned people involved at all levels, and no idea what the fuck is going on the vast majority of the time is pretty much a given. You would think I would get used to this process eventually - and just accept that 'it is what it is', but anyone who has even a passing knowledge of my thought process (either from listening to me spew an almost non-stop stream of vulgarity from  my office, or from reading my online screeds should probably have figured out that 'it is what it is' can go fuck itself, along with everyone involved.

I regularly manage to break people who make the mistake of thinking I've got time (or the desire) to listen to and/or put up with that kind of bullshit attitude.  The most common one is people that make the mistake of thinking that when they hired us to do a design, that this somehow translates into having us on retainer for the rest of time to keep fucking around as they engage in a 'stream of consciousness' type of design process.

Renovations and/or additions to existing buildings are classic examples - everyone goes into it with no idea what the existing conditions are.  Whenever possible, I prefer to go out and do my own walk down of a project - including taking copious pictures, sketching my own floor plans (or marking up a set), taking notes, etc.

In the past, I've actually done this on projects where there wasn't really a need to do it.  I ended up being flown to Iowa one time to do a walkdown on a hotel lobby renovation that was a complete no-brainer (it prevented the electrical engineer from having to do it).  It was still a good idea, because you never know when you *might* find things that could result in expensive change orders down the road.

In this case, though, it's a completely new building.  When it's a renovation/addition it's always going to be part and parcel of the gig to have to figure out  how to (or whether you can) make somebody else's dream a reality.  This can often involve slapping the dreaming morons awake and showing them that their existing conditions are *FUCKED*, and that the cost involved with unfucking just one aspect of it far exceeds their optimistic budgets for the whole project.

I've had people accuse me of having a negative attitude when I play devil's advocate - or bring people back around to a little thing called 'reality'.  The problem is that I've watched it play out enough times to know that the 'power of negative thinking' (c) is an invaluable way of making sure that everyone involved actually stops and thinks about what CAN and WILL go wrong if they don't stop assuming 'it will all work out'.

I know I've mentioned a project before where a client had an idea for a building that they were planning on putting on a piece of property, only to find out after the entire design was done that a MUCH larger chunk of change than they had estimated (assuming they allotted any money to it a all) was going to go towards site prep (a 2 million dollar chunk of change to be exact).

This resulted in last second modifications to the building design, and I seriously doubt we recouped much, because they were already damn near broke.  That problem most likely won't come up on my current project, as they've got deep pockets, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least if we end up at the end (or far past the end) of the project, only to find out that nobody (or at least nobody that anyone listened to) noticed some major issue that requires considerable redesign.

In addition to that 'surprise' 2 million site-prep job (which is nothing compared to some projects I've worked on) I've worked on designs for buildings proposed to be built in what turned out to be flood plains, buildings proposed to be built under high-tension power lines, buildings proposed to be built over massive underground natural gas pipelines, buildings proposed to be built over what turned out to be huge sinkholes, properties where the owner didn't understand the concept of setbacks, easements, right-of-way (allowing access to properties behind their property), or access to utilities (what do you mean I can't have the transformer mounted on the hill behind my building?!?).

That's if they have any concept of zoning/codes to begin with - especially in places that have extremely strict limitations on what you can and can't do (that are enforced by people with nothing better to do than hold up projects). It's almost understandable when you are dealing with people who are involved in their first shooting match, but it's totally goddamned unacceptable when it is someone who has been involved with developing dozens (or hundreds) of projects.

As always, fuck Revit, and fuck every one of the programs that Revitards want to drag into their bullshit process to fuck people with.

Fuck.

-Skullfuck

Next Time: Me Am Big Smart


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