Just another day here in paradise.
So, for the last few days, any time I've been walking past our break room - which has been converted into a temporary Revit enslavement camp (er... 'training center), I've been bemusedly stopping off for a second to listen to what these poor fucking saps that work for the other firm sharing our building are being told about how they will proceed at slamming their dicks in their desk drawers repeatedly for the foreseeable future.
I was surprised to find that the girl doing the training was an actual Revitard (and not just some poor shmuck reading off a power point presentation), and when I finally had a chance to talk to one of the new batch of Revit dick-sockets this morning, he told me she claims to have been using it since the early 2000's (which would predate Autodesk picking it up in 2002).
It sounded a bit questionable - since she didn't look old enough to have been using 3d design software 18 years ago (and I can't even imagine what a mess it would've been at that point). At any rate, she was able to strap their heads down and get their eyesockets ready for Revit dick insertion - which she did for several days in a row.
The Revit Padawans had this glazed look of 'bleep blorp too much information input bzzzz' I figured the best I could do was give them a list of things to make sure to ask before they were cut loose. Supposedly they will have access to the trainer for a little while after she leaves, so when the 14 billion questions they will have (and the other 14 billion they won't even know how to ask) will be summarily ignored.
I let them know that I would be available at any time to laugh and point at them should they run into any issues on their first Revit project (that almost certainly doesn't have enough of a budget or schedule to be done in Revit).
In the meantime, I ran across this beautiful piece of prose: "A Fuckbonnet For Our Time" written by an individual named David Simon to Twitter co-founder/CEO Jack Dorsey (pictured at the top of that link) who (the best I can tell) had his account blocked over one post (#10 out of #18) where he says 'so die of boils @Jack'.
I believe the point he was trying to make was that this glorified message board (that, in the interest of full disclosure, I don't use - primarily due to it being full of what I lovingly refer to as 'twats') has been, and continues to be used, to amplify the voices of racists, anti-semites, and other festering shit-gibbon denizens of the Interwebs (while generating profits for Dorsey and others).
Having spent considerable time on other message boards, chat rooms, and comment sections - I've seen countless examples of this kind of behavior from everyone ranging from bored kids (who rarely understand what they are saying), trolls (who get their kicks from getting reactions out of people) to full-grown 'adults' who actually espouse the fucked up views they spout online (and/or in real life).
There is often an uneven response to the types of conflicts that arise when the 'true believers' get on a roll - and other well-meaning users attempt to (in Simons' words):"tell the fucker he’s a piece of shit and should die of throat clap" only to find their own comments flagged and accounts blocked/deleted.
Of course, removing even the most disgusting content results in howls of 'censorship' and threats of litigation (while they simultaneously paint themselves 'victims' when people point out exactly what kind of shitty human beings they are). There's no simple solution, and monitoring the sheer amount of content on sites like this can be a daunting task.
I'm honestly surprised that, despite having heard from a handful of Autodesk fuckheads over the years, I've never actually received any kind of cease and desist threat (it's possible they either view my writing as parody or just another stupid/immature person on the internet that they don't want to give the pleasure to).
Speaking of which - fuck Revit, fuck Autodesk, and fuck anyone buying, using, training people on, or otherwise involved with Revit.
Twice.
-Skullfuck
Next Time: The Derpies!
Oh and thought I was the only one frustrated to this degree, great blog. As much as i would like to see AD just burn sadly i don't see that happening soon, their stocks are going up after the forced rent bullshit model, cock goes in money comes out. Like a drug dealer, they offer free stuff so you get hooked (student licence) well actually more like forced down your throat at school because they have agreements. They have everyone grabbed by the balls, all industries who rely in 3D modeling are Autodesk's whores they can do whatever they want and get away with it, no matter how much people gets pissed off they will still have to bend over because "its industry standard" funnily enough when you start questioning why people support this shit and mention the slightest hint of free software they promptly answer "you get what you pay for" almost forgetting the main conversation and denying they are getting rammed. Your example of people suffering the very same symptoms of an abusive relationship are spot on. Thanks for the laughs Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean? stocks AD are going down. This plane will crrash baby !! oh yes it will !!
ReplyDeleteOh its true, i was falling into the "everything is just fine" media. There are many sites claiming autodesk is doing great.But i just saw the NASDAQ: ADSK in google. seems they did got a hike after the subscription bullshit but now its coming down much faster. Great! eat shit autodesk.
ReplyDeleteI looked up Autodesk on 'The Motley Fool': https://www.fool.com/investing/2018/09/25/is-autodesk-inc-a-buy.aspx
ReplyDeleteThey seemed to be trying to put an overall positive spin on it, but my favorite line was:
"The biggest flaw as an investment is that Autodesk trades at a $33.4 billion market cap, which is 24 times expected 2020 free cash flow. That's a big premium to pay for a company that hasn't yet proven it can generate more than a billion dollars in cash per year."