Thursday, August 21, 2014

Revit 2015 Can Suck A Dick

Ever since motherfuckers started saddling up on the Revit donkey, they were dreaming of a day when it would magically grow and transform into a tall and majestic stallion.

I am here to tell you that day has come, ladies and gentlemen - I give you Revit 2015!!!


 Now, the Revit Apologists will whip that fucking donkey until the heat death of the universe, and it will still be the same fucking donkey they originally saddled up on.

I ran across this post from early last year (I seriously need to start compiling more links - it's still strange how few current links you can find regarding Revit at any given time - they are all old):

http://forums.autodesk.com/t5/Revit-API/Revit-2015-API-Enhancements/td-p/4921218

Over the course of that discussion, a shit-covered cock-sucking motherfucker from Autodesk by the name of 'Arnost Lobel' does his best to show that he has absolutely NO FUCKING CLUE what goes on outside of the dank fucking basement they apparently keep their 'development' staff in.

His first comment (the one that ends with the coy comment about 'more than just electrical enhancements and a goddamned winky face) made me so fucking mad I set up a whole other account dedicated just to flaming this motherfucker, but broke three keyboards, a monitor, and leveled three city blocks with sheer hatred while attempting to send him a message.

By the time he got to the bit about 'how can you be complaining about not getting enough improvements', I was ready to jump in my car and take a little trip to visit Mr. Lobel face to face and introduce him to the concept of bleeding from every orifice at once.

I spent a few minutes clicking around on the Autodesk forums and ran across mention of  'a whole new API for wire' (in case you were wondering 'API' stands for application programming interface - I fucking hate it when people toss around TLA's like that) - let me repeat a 'whole new API for wire'.

Because that's what everyone being forced to do electrical design in Revit has been having problems with in Revit - the 'old API' for wire.


Still no other specifics as far as I could tell - but you could tell they were already padding the list out when they put 'enhanced electrical API' (which I will be checking out for myself soon - along with any other 'features' that they deemed to put into the program).

In the meantime - anyone responsible for developing, advertising, promoting, requiring, using, or otherwise involved with Revit can go fuck themselves - and if you don't like it, then Fuck You.

And please, make sure to eat some shit on the way out - it's in Arnost Lobel's hollowed out skull in the foyer.

-SKULLFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK

12 comments:

  1. I believe I have never received so many bad names in my entire life from all people who have ever cursed me combined as I am getting in this single blog post. The author goes to such a level of loathing that it makes me wonder if he was serious or partly joking, perhaps, although the whole tone of the post makes the first possibility somehow more likely.

    What bothers me most about this is not the fact that I am being cursed at, but rather the fact that it is not entirely clear to me why it is so. Although it might be my cluelessness what actually ticks the author off the most, I suppose. In the Revit public forum post the author refers to, I stated two facts:

    a) That we, Autodesk employees, are prohibited from commenting on any new features before a new version of Revit becomes officially available. Since the forum post was made still days before an official release, none of us could answer the question which was referring to rumors about a new electrical application programming interface (also known as the API) in the new Revit. I fail to see this as particularly strange or upsetting. We, Autodesk employees have legal obligations and policies to follow. We get lectured on those policies often and have to sign “non-disclosure” agreements every year. By breaking those policies I could face either being fired, or paying huge fines, or both. I understand that it may be frustrating if one cannot get detailed information about upcoming release of his or her favorite application, but it is unfortunately very common in the software industry. I am very sorry about that. As a developer I wish we could discuss every new feature as soon as we start working on it. (We do actually do that, but not so openly – we interact with selected groups of users who all have to sign a non-disclosure agreement, thus they may not post any pre-release information either.)

    b) I also mentioned that more than just the electrical API would be part of the new feature set in the upcoming release. I wrote that because it was the question the author of the forum post asked. The question was about whether there was going to be more than the mentioned API and what the additional features would be. To which I could only reply that indeed there was going to be more, but again, I could not give away any details.

    That is all; yet it is apparently why the author here hates me so much that if he (or she) only got more time he would have got into his (or her) car, drove to where I live, and beat me so badly that I would probably bleed to death. That seems to me a bit excessive. After all, I was only trying to help by clarifying some facts on the Revit public forum. A part of me feels I do not deserve this harsh treatment. Even though I may be making a mistake by increasing traffic to this blog with my commenting it, I also do not think I should have my still rather good name being trashed without me having a chance of taking a stand.

    Arnošt Löbel
    Sr. Principal Software Engineer
    Autodesk, Revit R&D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mr. Löbel,

    I assure you, while my tone and comments (including threats to your well-being) are over-the-top and intended as satire, my premise stands - Revit is a useless piece of shit being foisted on the industry by a corporation that employs a motherfucker who has the balls to post coy little responses with 'winky face' emoticons (for christs sake) in regards to much needed (and LONG overdue) functionality within what is supposed to be their flagship piece of design software.

    I apologize if you feel unfairly mistreated - however I would like to direct your attention to this bag I am holding. It is the bag I use to hold all the fucks I give - you will note that it is empty, as well as invisible, and also FUCKING IMAGINARY - BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE ANY FUCKS.

    Now go take your fucking pity party somewhere else.

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  3. Fair enough. You are certainly free of expressing your opinion, especially in your very own blog. I would never try taking that right from you. On the other hand, just because you can say or write things do not make them right or justified. I hope your readers can exercise enough judgment to split the good from the rest.

    Arnošt Löbel

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  4. My readers seem to be more than capable.

    I hope that your employers can exercise enough judgement to get their collective heads out of their asses and start working towards making reparations to all of the people they have fucked over.

    I won't be holding my breath though - I've already got access to 2015, and it's exactly what I (and everyone else being drug down by the Revit stone) expected. Another phoned-in cash grab.

    -Sküllfück

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  5. I love REVIT-MeP-SKULLF*CK and am extremely appreciative that someone has started this blog. We need more people to step up and voice the fact that ARCHITECTS ARE NOT SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS. This also goes for all of the other engineers and graphic designers out there of course. WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO TAKE PROGRAMMING COURSES nor would we even know which ones to take. It's almost become a complete waste of time to try and even find answers, workarounds or anything else because WE DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE, Revit Team. The UI (User Interface) is horse shit. Call Rockstar games and hire one of their guys as a consultant for Christ sake. Act like you GIVE A FUCK. Here, let me say that again:

    Call Rockstar games and hire one of their guys as a consultant for Christ sake!

    Arnošt Löbel doesn't get it because he's one of THOSE people in the world that assumes we all have exactly the same level of knowledge and experience in the world so we should all just get it. Arnošt Löbel, if we did all have the same level of knowledge that YOU have to operate this totally unfinished product WE WOULDN'T BE USING YOUR SOFTWARE BECAUSE WE WOULD BE PROGRAMMERS and on an entirely different career path. Anyone who says a user interface doesn't matter and winks peoples futures away doesn't understand the intent of an interface. Any idea how difficult it is just to create a door that swings open at 30 or 45 degrees if I want it to? I still have never found anything about how to lock dimensions and models together in the right order so that they actually work. I just get lucky when it finally happens after having repeated EXACTLY the same steps over and over and over and over again in a different order until MAYBE I get a desired result, maybe. What a FUCKING WASTE OF TIME. Autodesk, do you realize that you've wasted 10's of thousands of hours of other peoples time all because you can't spare even a second to figure out what people want and need from your UI? Who the fuck needs another copy of Raster Design? No seriously, who? Why is THAT your focus? Have you ever tried using Raster Design? IT SUCKS BALLS. The integrated PDF reader in AutoCAD works better. Which brings up another point (though a little off subject about AutoCAD), WHY THE FUCK AREN'T EXPRESS TOOLS JUST INCLUDED ALREADY? No one selects NO during installation except by default because you set NO as the default you dumb fucks! It's little shit like this that would just NEVER fly in any other software company of Autodesk's size. So FUCK YOU, Arnošt Löbel. Just because you work for them, FUCK YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I do not mind – well, I do not mind much – when people call me names and get angry with me. Nobody can be liked by everyone, even one as kind, lovable, considerate, intelligent yet humble person I happen to be. However, I still believe that hatred should be based upon more than just one’s association with a company as Mr. Kindermanltd stated in his “Just because you work for them!” That seems hardly fair. I honestly envy anyone who is employed by a company which follows one’s moral standards and work ethics to the T. (One-person and Ma&Pa firms excluded.) It should perhaps be obvious, but just in case it is not, I poses absolutely no power over what my employer produces, pretty much same way Mr. SkullF*ck and Mr. Kindermanltd, apparently, are incapable to control what software their respective companies make them to use. If I can be frank here, and it appears I can be without any need to ever apologize for it, I must say that should my employer pushed me to use software that I absolutely hate, I would not be their employee for long. Also, for the record, I have zero control over features that go or do not go to Revit, when they go or do not go there, and what UI accompanies them. I am an API programmer and thus work only on features that are not visible. So, in fact, it is a programmers who is “my” kind of a user, so yes, I do actually expect my users I frequently address to have certain programming skills. Although, naturally, I do not expect them to poses MY skills – that’s virtually impossible ;-) ;-) ;-) (That was three winks, in case it got mangled by the blog-post software.)
    Arnošt Löbel (That's actually my real name! :-):-) (more winks)

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  7. Arnost the API programmer works on features that are not visible (like his dick) . ;-)

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  8. I am not sure what the purpose of the last comment was, but if it were to get me upset or angry, it missed big time. Though I get angry a lot, I admit, it's never about someone calling me names. That simply does not work on me. If you really want to get me upset, you have to claim, for example, that something I said was not true, or that something I stated does not make. That would do it, perhaps. However, I must warn you, it is still going to be pretty darn hard, because I always say the truth, and I always make sense. Good luck with you next post, anyway. And please, try a bit harder. Otherwise you may lose your audience and then maybe this blog too, which would be most unfortunate, for we all do enjoy it a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The last comment (implying that you have a microscopic penis) was intended to be humorous (in line with the overall tone of the site). I would have definitely thought less of you if it had made you angry or upset, as you have consistently shown yourself to be above the fray.

    You mentioned that you would most likely not stay with an employer for very long if forced to use software that you hate - but I would be curious to see how you would actually cope if you came into work one day (since you seem to enjoy your job), and found that your development tools had been replaced with something that had been bought from a third party and reverse-engineered (with the expectation that you would simply dive in and get to work after watching a few short clips on youtube).

    The fact is - the Revit you know, and the Revit I know are two totally different things - to you it is an open-ended project with the only goal to continue developing it. To me it was the 'solution' dropped on my one day by someone who didn't do my job, and couldn't do my job if their lives depended on it.

    Unfortunately, you have become the official Autodesk/Revit representative on this site due to your presence here - and it obvious that you get confused when people hurl attacks at you that (as you've pointed out) don't even really apply to you.

    It doesn't sound like you've ever used (or will probably ever use) Revit (certainly not in a production environment) which was what originally struck me in your posts on the Autodesk forum. I'm not sure what compelled you to chime in on a subject that you literally had nothing to do with at the practical level.

    People had been looking (on their knees praying) for major items to start getting fixed and/or added to Revit in every single release since it came out - and while I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't intend to offend, it is my honest belief that your posts were easily on par with the most vulgarity-ridden post I have ever written on here when taken in that context.

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  10. While it could be argued the term Revit is shorthand for "Head Up Your Ass", there is a bright spot. Having been in the architecture business 37 years I've seen it all and done it all, and it's never been much sweeter than it has been lately. In part because in the last 6 months I've acquired two new clients in two separate counties who fired their previous architects for...lack of performance (or anything). Why so much lack of architectural performance in so many different counties you say? REVIT! Both firms had been using Revit and it wholly sucks with million dollar residential remodels. So bad in fact that no less than $150k in fees was lost by these IDIOTS simply for using it. What's Autodesk's shit-for-brains argument for it again? Oh yeah, that it's the future. Sure it is. Hey maybe it's time for you to shine finally Arnošt, you outta send these guys a get well card and an offer to upgrade to a Revit 2525 First Born Subscription at 30% off. It'll only cost them $100k in fees then.

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  11. It was inconceivable how much time and money my last firm wasted on Revit. I've had countless Revitards try to argue the benefits of it, but there is no way around the fact that I was always left waiting for other people to do their fucking jobs so I could do my job. And if they weren't done fucking with it until the last minute, it became that much more imperative that my ability to be done not be tied to (and limited by) Revit. They seemed almost intent on fucking me over, but they failed - every single time. I would still be the first one with my drawings completed, and the only one with the right information in the the titleblock. My lights would be in the model (from early on) for ceiling coordination (but invariably the Mechanical drawings wouldn't actually be coordinated with them - and often their schedules were still not updated to fix problems that I had to point out to them). The funniest part would be when someone would notice that my backgrounds were more accurate and clearer than the Architectural plans because I had manually fixed things like doors that were swinging the wrong direction, or other stuff that (despite extensive work) still wasn't showing up properly due to some view setting being dicked up.

    ReplyDelete
  12. It was inconceivable how much time and money my last firm wasted on Revit. I've had countless Revitards try to argue the benefits of it, but there is no way around the fact that I was always left waiting for other people to do their fucking jobs so I could do my job. And if they weren't done fucking with it until the last minute, it became that much more imperative that my ability to be done not be tied to (and limited by) Revit. They seemed almost intent on fucking me over, but they failed - every single time. I would still be the first one with my drawings completed, and the only one with the right information in the the titleblock. My lights would be in the model (from early on) for ceiling coordination (but invariably the Mechanical drawings wouldn't actually be coordinated with them - and often their schedules were still not updated to fix problems that I had to point out to them). The funniest part would be when someone would notice that my backgrounds were more accurate and clearer than the Architectural plans because I had manually fixed things like doors that were swinging the wrong direction, or other stuff that (despite extensive work) still wasn't showing up properly due to some view setting being dicked up.

    ReplyDelete