On Your Mark, Get Set, Achieve 'Real Speed-to-Market Success?'

Guten Tag Skullfriends!

I can't remember what I was doing the other day - but I ran across this 'design-build' company's website:

http://www.connectwithbutler.com/built-for-speed/?utm_source=acuity&utm_medium=native&utm_content=on_your_mark,_get_set,_achieve&utm_campaign=strongconnections_stm&db=acuity--native--on_your_mark,_get_set,_achieve--strongconnections--stm

Their incessant use of buzzwords/phrases ('employing collaborative upfront design', 'integrated 'project delivery', etc.) immediately made me think of the B.S. generator a reader had brought to my attention: http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html

Despite this, they actually make a few good points when it comes to how projects go from poorly thought out concept to horribly implemented design.

They start off with some 'Preliminary Questions to Consider':

1) Do you have the right decision makers at the table?

The answer to this question is almost always 'not only no - but fuck no'.  The people you ARE guaranteed to have are 'The Dreamer' (who has grandiose ideas - but doesn't have any concept of things like budget, schedule, etc.), 'The Unrealist' (who really should know better - but still thinks that everything is going to be much cheaper than it demonstrably will be), 'The Dabbler' (who shouldn't fucking be there, but has inserted himself into the process, and if not carefully monitored, will throw the whole thing off course - also known as 'The Interloper'), and if you are really really lucky - you might get 'The Guy With The Purse Strings' (really the only guy you should ever actually pay attention to).

2) Are they a collaborative team that can work together seamlessly and simultaneously or are the linearly dependent following a step-by-step, on track path?

I'm assuming they meant 'are *they* linearly dependent' but were too busy cramming in buzzwords to worry about spelling/grammar. At any rate - it's almost a given in every case that people are going to be working simultaneously at both the design and construction level - the only 'step-by-step' you run into is when the aforementioned interlopers and other fuckups won't stop changing shit, causing the 'seamless' approach to turn into a long,  drug out clusterfuck.  Note - this happens regardless of how much work you do on the front end to prevent it.


3) Do your construction suppliers have the 'optimal value chain' to deliver a 'lean project cycle time' (whew)?

With any experienced firm, there is considerable attention paid to long lead-time items and coordinating their arrival on-site to where they won't hold up work (or be in the way/require storage). Again, this goes to shit due to the lack of understanding on the part of people who just will not stop fucking with the design WAY after the point where they needed to fuck right off.

I've been in so many meetings where people keep coming up with 'brilliant' ideas about how to 'improve' a design (typically with the aim of saving money) that get shot down once we force them to wrap their heads around 1) The fact that you can't just go pick up some of this shit at a Home Depot, and 2) The correct shit is already on-site (if not installed or in the process of being installed.

The assumption that you can swap out 'apples for apples' with different systems is another classic mistake. We regularly run into situations where there might only be one source for a device that will do what we need it to do. There might be other solutions, but they quickly become untenable due to the need for extra pieces/parts/etc. to interface a competitors devices with any given system.

The simplest solution is (almost) always best - but people want to layer on unnecessary bullshit to make themselves feel 'part of the project'. A firm can talk all day about how adept they are at coordinating a project - but I have yet to run across even a single one where one or more (if not all) of the people I described above to come crashing through at the most inopportune moment and drag a project off schedule.

I completed a massive warehouse/production facility a while back, and then we got the contract to do security equipment.  No big deal - I knocked it out in short order, but we didn't receive a cad site plan - which was fortunate, because it turned out to have changed (and despite having requested it two weeks ago - the owner won't stop making changes for long enough for me to get it.

Hilariously, they keep operating under the delusion that the delivery date is still firm, even though they are the ones holding up our ability to complete it. That's pretty standard though - as is everyone's lack of willingness to confront yet another out of control client.

As always - if you stand in the way of my ability to do my goddamned job, you can take a long fucking hike to 'Gofuckyourselfville'.

Sinsquarely,  SF

Next time: No Fucking Wonder This Shit Eats Itself