Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Printing Shit from Cocksucking Revit God Damn It.

I don't even know why I bother to break down Revit into individual problems anymore - it's like trying to figure out why one of the cabin doors on the Titanic doesn't close smoothly while the whole fucking thing is upending and being sucked down into the freezing fucking ocean.

At any rate - I'm not even using the goddamn thing, but somebody asks me about a project, I go into where it is supposed to be located, and what do you fucking know - there is nothing there.  I find a Revit architectural model, so I figure 'what the hell - I need to waste some fucking time' and open it.

Voila - there are the Electrical sheets in the Architectural model (not an altogether bad idea, since it keeps you from having to use an Electrical or MEP template and then chase your dick in a circle).  I just want to print out three fucking sheets - so I open the first one, change a few settings, and BANG it's on the printer - just the way I wanted it.

I knew something was up - but I figured, okay two more sheets, no big deal right?

Fucking WRONG.

I try to print the second sheet, and it won't let me preview it.  Some setting had changed between the first time I printed and the second time I printed (view based?), and so I was like 'fuck it' - all the settings look the same, so it should come out relatively correct, and if not, I'll give it another shot.

I click 'print' (which - by the way, why in the fuck does clicking 'print' from the 'preview' screen take you back to the print settings screen instead of just fucking printing?  Were they specifically going out of their way to make it *just* different enough from ACAD to make someone want to hunt them down and beat them to fucking death???), and my screen starts to flip out as it opens EVERY SINGLE DETAIL FROM EVERY SINGLE SHEET IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED PROJECT AND STARTS DUMPING THEM ONTO THE PRINTER.

Seriously - WHAT THE FUCK???

It's not just the sheets - it's every single detail on its own sheet.  I run to the printer, try to cancel it, but they are dumping and overrunning it.  I run back to my comptuer, there are almost TWO HUNDRED FUCKING ITEMS GOING TO THE GODDAMNED PRINTER.  I cancel them, run back to the printer, and clear out the rest.  30-40 pages of wasted paper and toner.  Thanks fuckfaces! 

Maybe a 'are you sure you want to print every goddamned detail on its own sheet of paper' from the program that loves to throw up confusing and meaningless error messages and other bullshit every time you click on or move anything.

I figure out what changed, and print the other two sheets.  Now I'm 20 minutes of time wasted finding a file, opening it, printing 3 goddamned sheets, and so pissed off that I nearly punch a bookshelf in half and kick a vending machine into next century.  FOR A PROJECT THAT ISN'T EVEN MINE TO BEGIN WITH but that I figured 'I'll do somebody a favor'.  I can't even see straight, and sure as hell am not getting anything done on the projects that I should be working on.

This may seem like a minor gripe - or something that I should have known about if I had jumped on the Revit bandwagon from the get-go, but I've stopped caring.  And guess what?  Fuck doing anyone any favors from this point on.  Especially if it's in Revit - then fuck them.

If they ask me to do anything in Revit - fuck them.

In fact, any mention of Revit around me ever again will probably result in that person having something (possibly heavy and/or sharp) thrown at them at a high velocity.  I'm done putting lights in their models, I'm done exporting shit out of it - if they want a project done, they will treat me like an outside fucking consultant who has to have files issued to them and regularly updated - or I will not work on them anymore.

If they ask me 'how's that project coming' I will say 'Are there up-to-date ACAD background(s) and a titleblock in the folder?' and if the answer is anything other than 'yes' then I will tell them to get fucked.  If they try to tell me that I should be working on it in Revit, I will punch them in the fucking throat (especially if they try to go over my head again - which still has one guy *this* close to being strung up by his nutsack and his face belt-sanded).

The Revit Skullfuck is BACK BABY!!!!

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